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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Wifey Dearest |
| 2008-10-28 |
| Waukesha - A New Berlin woman accused of attempted homicide told detectives that she wrapped plastic wrap across her husband's face and hit him with a dumbbell because she wanted him to shut up, according to a criminal complaint filed Monday in Waukesha County Circuit Court. Methinks, perhaps, that the thrill is gone... Valentina Grenader, 45, was charged with attempted first-degree intentional homicide, strangulation and suffocation, and substantial battery. She is being held in the Waukesha County Jail on $100,000 bail. Honey...schnookems...c'mahn. It was just a joke... The woman's husband needed eight stitches to close a head wound, the criminal complaint says. I wonder if it went "BONK!" like it always did on the Three Stooges? The couple showed up at the New Berlin Police Department on Friday night with Mark Grenader telling an officer he wanted to press charges against his wife, the complaint says. He said she initiated sexual contact, tying him to bed posts and blindfolding him. Then she put the plastic wrap over his mouth and nose, making it difficult for him to breathe. He began thrashing and tried to yell for help. Don't worry, honey. It's all part of the show... She told him she was going to kill him and then herself, the complaint says. Well, kill yourself first and then come back for me, okay? As he pleaded for his life, she hit him three or four times with a dumbbell in the head, the complaint says. Dumbbell hits dumbbell with dumbbell. Film at eleven... Grenader told detectives that she wasn't trying to kill her husband. She said she has a gambling problem and told him while he was tied up that she had lost $800 at a casino. He was yelling so loud that she wanted to quiet him so they could talk about her problem, the complaint says. Now, now, honey... BONK... honey... BONK... please, honey... BONK... She said her husband is a "control freak," the complaint says. Ah, he's a control freak. I gotta say, hon, I'm gonna need a little more convincing here... Court Commissioner Martin Binn ordered Grenader to not possess any weapons, including dumbbells. Smart move, Marty. Maybe next time she'll just beat him to death with a clock radio or something... She is scheduled to be back in court Wednesday. If convicted of all three felonies, the maximum penalty is 73 years and six months in prison. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #4 The things I learn here at Rantburg, Eric. :-) |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2008-10-28 22:08 |
| #3 TW, The classic weapon is a frozen leg of lamb. |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2008-10-28 21:58 |
| #2 I'm sure the femnazis will be at her defense saying she is the real victim of years of mental torture. How come these apologist never face the fact that people have choices like walking out the front door and never returning? [rhetorical question] |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2008-10-28 18:02 |
| #1 Maybe next time she'll just beat him to death with a clock radio or something.. A frying pan is the classic weapon, I've been told. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2008-10-28 17:27 |