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Thoughts on Baby Alex
2008-06-20

Poor Baby Alex. John McCain can't have him. Mom's not going to let the child make that choice. We know the kind of Mom the child has and the kind of man Baby Alex is going to make:
  • The military's never going to be a career choice for Baby Alex, because Mom's against war and stuff. He's never going to drive a tank, fly a helicopter, land a C130 on a patch of dirt, or stand watch on a destroyer on a stormy night.

  • He'll never become a policeman because they deal with all sorts of sordid people: tacky, low-class people who are really oppressed by the system, but, well, you wouldn't want them in your home would you?

  • He'll never hang around the firehouse with the guys, polishing a truck and waiting for an alarm. He'll never drive an ambulance, never stop somebody's bleeding, never crack somebody's ribs administering CPR, though he might have a class in high school, if it's a required course.

  • Baby Alex will never experience the pleasure of hunting, because guns are dangerous and they kill people and why would Baby Alex want to kill Bambi? Or even Thumper?

  • He'll never spend an afternoon fishing, never pull in a big 'un, because fish have feelings, too, y'know. How would you like to be pulled into the water with a hook in your lip? And he might fall into the drink and drown.

  • He'll never play football with the guys because he'll prob'ly get hurt. Maybe some touch football, but only if the Kennedys are playing. Nor will he play hockey, because getting a mouthful of puck might ruin his orthodontic smile.

  • He's never going to spend a day baling hay and squirting sweat, never going to enjoy the smell of cow shit, chase a shoat, or ride a horse without wearing a helmet.

  • He'll never spend a summer working on a construction crew. He's never going to slave for a bricklayer, mixing mortar and learning bad language while watching a few pallets of bricks become a building. He's never going to fish wire or pipe a house or even shingle a roof. He's too good to work at minimum wage or barely above. And lots of those kinds of people are Mexicans or Guatamalans or other foreigners.
Baby Alex is gonna be misdiagnosed with ADHD while he's in pre-K. He'll spend the years between 4 and 11 in a prescription drug-induced haze and then he's going to turn 12 and develop acne. He's going to spend his teenage years sitting in front of the teevee playing video games and complaining to his Mom about how tough his so-called life is.

He's going to attend junior college, eventually majoring in modern dance, where his English professor is going to help him resolve the youthful crisis of his sexuality and then he's going to spend a couple years hanging around Gay Pride gatherings. Sometime around the age of 23 or 24 he's going to meet a muscular black woman named Sylvia and discover he's not really homosexual and never was.

He's going to end his days an attempted suicide, the barrel of a .38 in his mouth. He's going to lose his nerve at the last moment but still manage to blow his lower jaw off, drowning in his own blood. His mother is going to have him buried in the cheapest coffin they make and sue the paramedics for not getting there sooner or being more interested.

He'll live and die without ever knowing that John McCain actually doesn't want him.
Posted by:Fred

#31  Jeeeebus, FredMan breaks the no-nukes rule.

A crater... a damn crater, that's all that's left. Gawd almighty.

WARNING * BEWARE
Do Not Fall In The Smoking Radioactive Hole

:)

/hee heh!
Posted by: RD   2008-06-20 18:48  

#30  He might be naive and think he is going to go to our enemies and try to change their mindset and end up the main actor in their snuff movie. He might join some moonbat organization such MoveOn.org that hates America. Good luck lady. I'm surprised you didn't abort the poor kid because you most likely believe in such things.
Posted by: JohnQC   2008-06-20 17:41  

#29  Just look at Casey Sheehan - one of the many american heroes of Iraq. No Doubt the shehag said much the same thing when he was a baby.
Posted by: CrazyFool   2008-06-20 17:40  

#28  Eh the kid won't take part in any the normal activities as normal kids do. As the result he will become a loner and try to re-live Columbine except on a larger scale. He might join up with the terrorist organization of the day and end up in some training camp in some mideast $hithole. He might be naive and think he going to go to our enemies and try to change their mindset and end up the main actor in their snuff movie. He might join some moonbat organization such MoveOn.org that hates America. Good luck lady. I'm surprised you didn't about the poor kid because you most likely believe in such things.
Posted by: JohnQC   2008-06-20 17:38  

#27  Will the lad play video games with the other kids? If yes, he'll learn all he needs to know. If there's another 9/11 will he learn who caused his school to go into lockdown? Then if he is capable of developing what is needed, he will respond to the call. Plenty of recruits are where they are now because of 9/11, regardless what their parents think -- because those are the parents that taught them they have a responsibility to fix the world. And if the parents mistakenly thought it meant their children would recycle and drive hybrid cars instead of putting on a uniform...

MoveOn.org's impassioned videos aren't going to sway anybody not already a believer, and certainly won't much prevent children reared to be idealists behaving so idealistically as to strive to protect the world from the evil they will be aware of, even if their parents willfully choose to be blind. Of course some will turn out as Fred predicts, and their parents will never figure out how they lost the parenting competition to the other family whose kid went to the Olympics and then became a professor of Classical Persian at a name school after retiring from the Army. ;-)

Great rant though, Fred!
Posted by: trailing wife    2008-06-20 17:24  

#26  The actress may exhibit Gen X attitudes, but Move-on has missed a generation shift. Talk to the Gen Y parents, they use terms like "bubble wrap free" and "free range rearing". The children of the baby boomers are making their own parenting choices.
Posted by: Skunky Glins 5***   2008-06-20 17:09  

#25  I think we should put Baby Alex on Chantix right now so he doesn't even think about smoking...
Posted by: tu3031   2008-06-20 16:47  

#24  I dont need no terror apologists to tell me that.

Obviously you were medicated through the 'grammar' portion of the curriculum.
Posted by: Pappy   2008-06-20 16:26  

#23  Jeeeebus, FredMan breaks the no-nukes rule.

A crater... a damn crater, that's all that's left. Gawd amighty.
Posted by: George Smiley   2008-06-20 13:12  

#22  Gents, I am in Southampton of "The Hamptons" and I have to tell you there are lot of these Mommy's and Alex's out here. They all drive black Land Rovers, wear ugly clothes that some one calls "fashion" and eat arugula washed down with bottled water. Their cars all sport "Support the Troops - Bring them home" ribbons. They think Obama is the second coming of a Lord they don't believe in. They get excited at the playground if their kid starts to play with other kids, especially if they run after each other and play tackle. They are the kind of people who give money to MoveOn.org and make these airheaded TV ads. They know nothing of God, duty, Country or sacrifice. Honor to them is a cute name for their baby girl. I sweat nothing these people believe in since I probably am 180 out of what they believe. I had a guy I know here tell me he was voting for Obama and I asked him why? He said because he was smart and would make changes to the current value system in the country. I asked him what was wrong with our value system. He had no single issue just a bunch of ad hominen BDS type vitriol. So, I don't think Alex will ever amount to much more than a sniveling, spoiled, impatient idiot - just like his Mom wants him to be.
Posted by: Jack is Back!   2008-06-20 13:03  

#21  Using an actress with a child to hide behind my child. How...Typical.

She is acting, you can see it in her eyes - she has no children IMO and if she does she does not care for them half of what my cat cares for my daughter. Why do I have the final scene in The Dead Zone movie flashing before my mind?
Posted by: swksvolFF   2008-06-20 12:58  

#20  Maybe.
Most serial killers are "sexually confused" and have frequently been abused in order to "cure" of their maleness.

Kids in that situation either find a way to reassert themselves in a socially approved manner (Think Teddy Roosevelt) or turn violent.

Al
Posted by: Frozen Al   2008-06-20 12:49  

#19  Al- will he be leaving one foot at a time in the ocean in vancouver?
Posted by: OldSpook   2008-06-20 12:21  

#18  Or . . .
The kid is going to grow up to be a serial killer, killing women who remind him of his Mom.
He's going to be a mild mannered slacker by day, and a ferocious predator by night.
Posted by: Frozen Al   2008-06-20 11:13  

#17  These nuts no longer bother me. Had they not "exagerated" and lied about the war, I believe we would of never done the surge. People questioning what was really happening as thier exagerations were debunked, gave Bush the chance to push for the surge.
Posted by: plainslow   2008-06-20 11:04  

#16  These peopel just dont get it.

The military *is* the gaurantor of our nation's constitution.

We are America's sons and daughters who love our country so much that we volunteer and offer up our lives to keep it.

Have these people ever considered the magnitude and depth of any sacrifice of that sort? Have they no sense of patriotism, no love of the country that protects their freedoms and way of life, no idea of the virtues and values of self-sacrifice for a common good?

These Move-On poeple are selfish, spoiled, stupid and in the end, pathetic.
Posted by: OldSpook   2008-06-20 10:26  

#15  It's high time we purged this traitorous sub-culture from our midst. We have a nifty little country here, and I for one am sick and goddamned tired of hearing what a piece of shit it is.
Posted by: bigjim-ky   2008-06-20 10:13  

#14  These people need to get over themselves.

Or Matt, maybe he sees this commercial and realizes what it takes, and goes to serve as 49Pan said.

(Love that video, and if you look close in the middle. you'll see a Cavalry Stetson on an officer who is being saluted, just like the one on the wall over by my desk, next to my spurs /proud)

Posted by: OldSpook   2008-06-20 10:02  

#13  these nutjobs really do want America to completely disarm

No they don't. They expect others to protect them---and to feel infinitely superior to these, low-brow, "myrmidons". Peacenicks are not really pacifists---they are free riders.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2008-06-20 09:47  

#12  Traitors are merely your nearest enemy.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2008-06-20 09:25  

#11   First the traitors. Then the enemy.

amen.
Posted by: RD   2008-06-20 09:11  

#10  First the traitors. Then the enemy.
Posted by: Excalibur   2008-06-20 09:07  

#9  Assiming the V-chip mommy had installed allows him to even see that recruitment ad (or anything else besides Barny the Dinosaur...)
Posted by: CrazyFool   2008-06-20 08:56  

#8  Classic Fred commentary, but I'm with 49 Pan: Baby Alex spends a lot of time watching TV; happens to see this; realizes that those things between his legs are called "testicles"; goes Recon; wins Navy Cross; breaks Moms heart.
Posted by: Matt   2008-06-20 08:46  

#7  I don't know, 49 Pan has a point. Maybe Alex will turn out like Ditch Devil Sheehan's kid.
Posted by: AlanC   2008-06-20 08:41  

#6  Why is there no father in the ad? Precisely.

Posted by: Angleton 9   2008-06-20 07:26  

#5  Why is there no father in the ad?
Posted by: no mo uro   2008-06-20 05:34  

#4  I really am of the opinion that these nutjobs really do want America to completely disarm, to surrender to our enemies, and to allow them to roll over us and the rest of the world in an unresisted wave.

When they're standing up against the wall waiting for the machineguns to start firing they're going to be on their knees wailing "Why? Why?" and, God willing, there will be someone else standing nearby, waiting without crying out, in stolid bravery for his or her own death bravely who will say "Because, you fuckwit, you disarmed us when we had real enemies, but you were too stupid to see it. You disarmed us because you craved peace so badly you were willing to do anything to see it. You disarmed us when real enemies were telling you that they really were trying to kill us. You believed so strongly that the Republicans were murdering warmongers that you forced us to disarm and then you let the bastards take over all in the name of your vaunted peace. You disarmed us, you insufferable cretin, and now you're standing here with me about to die. Have the courage of your own beliefs, or at least let me give you some of mine. Get on your feet. If you're going to die, die standing up!"

Posted by: FOTSGreg   2008-06-20 01:54  

#3  Baby Alex will grow up and understand America is free because its the home of the brave. He will join the Army, disown his nutty mother, and lead a normal adult life. The poor kid is just gonna have a rough childhood.
Posted by: 49 Pan   2008-06-20 00:46  

#2  no, because Alex will run the motel long after Mother quits.

"What's that you say, Mother? The nasty Military-Industrial Complex is sending nasty girls to use our rooms?"
Posted by: Frank G   2008-06-20 00:29  

#1  I dont know from this moveon shit, or whatever, but ADD is real, and the meds can be livesavers. I dont need no terror apologists to tell me that.
Posted by: Fester Ebbinegum7597   2008-06-20 00:23  

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