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| China-Japan-Koreas |
| Chinese fantasy newspaper: China tests nuke on San Fran, UN moves to Beijing |
| 2008-05-02 |
| This is one of those email forwards going around in China right now. Click to see the layout with pictures. Here’s a mock edition of the People’s Daily Overseas Edition newspaper written at some date in China’s future. This satire is finding its way around on the internet. Check out these headlines: The main headline at the upper left, above the mushroom cloud, reads: “China Successfully Tests new Type of Nuclear Bomb on San Francisco.” Next to it in the top middle of the page: “United Nations HQ Moves to Beijing.” Are you getting the picture? It’s enough to cheer up any Chinese less than chipper about the future. At top right, the headline reads: “Premier Wen Jiabao accompanied by Gov. Ma Ying-jeou pays a visit to Taiwan.” (In other words, Taiwan has already been absorbed into China.) At lower right, under the NBA logo, is the headline: “Yao Ming recovers from injury, helps Rockets with championship.” Smaller headlines lower on the page read: “Chinese government Apologizes for Accidental Bombing of Pentagon.” “Dalai Lama is Shot and Killed.” “Major Earthquake hits Japanese Islands; Chinese government Sends Rescue Team. No Survivors found Yet.” “China Plans to Build 2nd Patriotic Military Base on Moon.” It’s interesting that headlines play off not only natural interest in China growing ever stronger but also in seeing punishment wrought on its perceived enemies. Japan is abolished in a big quake, and the bombs fall repeatedly on the United States. |
| Posted by:gromky |
| #12 If we can't do better in getting good government than we have been, our days are numbered anyway. Bush has lots of problems; McCain has more, the Dems who stand to replace Bush are absolutely despicable and probably already in China's pay. We're in trouble. Big trouble. The saddest part is that we'll almost certainly have to wage a bitter and very destructive civil war before we can even begin to properly address the external enemies. If the wrong side wins that civil war, however, they'll just surrender. Either way, things will never be the same and we'll be paying for our inattention, stupidity and laziness for a long, long time. |
| Posted by: Thaimble Scourge of the Pixies4707 2008-05-02 22:42 |
| #11 heighth restrictions? Yao Ming is an anomaly |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-05-02 21:04 |
| #10 How on earth could we keep China from participating in world affairs, JosephM? |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2008-05-02 20:58 |
| #9 All things equal, the Chinese can be one of Amer's + WestDemocracy' greatest allies-partner if we play things right. * TOPIX/STARS-N-STRIPES > HAYDEN: US FORESEES GLOBAL UNREST, STRIFES AS POPULATIONS GROW + CIA CHIEF: CHINA [+ 3rd World]WILL BE MAIN US FOCUS IN 21st CENTURY [Russia???]+ CIA CHIEF:CHINA MAY TURN AGZ US,WEST IFF DENIED GLOBAL ROLE. Argues CHINA may turn "confrontational" iff NOT allowed to participate in world affairs. |
| Posted by: JospehMendiola 2008-05-02 19:06 |
| #8 You betchya, grasshoppa. That's what MIRV's are for. |
| Posted by: Kelly 2008-05-02 17:30 |
| #7 Can we get them to selectively nuke parts of San Fran and Berkeley? |
| Posted by: gorb 2008-05-02 16:57 |
| #6 "Brain-damaged commie lead-poisoning victims attempt to produce parody paper." "Wal-Mart declares bankruptcy. 200 million Chinese layed off." ....or this one from 1941: "Chinese beg for US support against savage Japanese invasion. Vow eternal gratitude if granted." Funny. No? |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2008-05-02 16:53 |
| #5 At lower right, under the NBA logo, is the headline: “Yao Ming recovers from injury, helps Rockets with championship.” That'll be the day... |
| Posted by: Kevin Garnett 2008-05-02 13:16 |
| #4 "Three Gorges Dam Collapses; Billions of Chinese Living in Trees". |
| Posted by: tu3031 2008-05-02 12:48 |
| #3 Move them to San Francisco and they can knock off two birds with one stone in Chinese Fantasyland. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2008-05-02 12:43 |
| #2 Move the Useless Nitwits to China? I'll help them pack. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-05-02 12:22 |
| #1 Personally, I would have no problem with moving the UN to Beijing (or Darfur or Okinawa or pretty much anywhere outside the US) |
| Posted by: Rambler in California 2008-05-02 12:07 |