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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Today's Idiot, Semi-Finalist
2008-04-23
Drunk Darth Vader Attacks Jedi Knight Reverend With A Crutch While Drunk

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard. Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries. Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted "Darth Vader!"

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."

In the event, Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed. The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack.

Outlining the case againt Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead - in honour of the Star Wars' good knights. It had about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide". The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.

Hughes admitted two charges of common assault. The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Mrs Lloyd said: "He was wearing a black bin bag and a cape and had a metal crutch in his hand."

Mrs Lloyd said he was shouting "Darth Vader".

She added that Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache. He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising. Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned. She added that the pair believe "very strongly in the church and their religion".

Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was "ruining his life" and he had no idea where he got the crutch from. The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour. The judge warned Hughes that jail remained a possibility before adjourning for pre-sentence reports until 13 May.
Posted by:Anonymoose

#7  Awwwww, 'twas hoping for a FAMILY GUY episode on same.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2008-04-23 21:59  

#6  "I hope the force will soon be with him."

Somehow, "force" in American jails is not what Mr. Hughes thinks "force" means, *snicker*. Not so sure about Brit's jails, but American jails can be a *rough place* for a guy who likes to dress up in black.
Posted by: BA   2008-04-23 20:03  

#5  Had to look up 'affray' and here it is:
A quarrel, fight, or disturbance marked by very noisy, disorderly, and often violent behavior: brawl, broil, donnybrook, fray, free-for-all, melee, riot, row, ruction, tumult. Informal: fracas. Slang: rumble.

Now I have to look up 'ruction'. Learning never ends....
Posted by: Muggsy Gling   2008-04-23 13:33  

#4  Dammit my link disappears

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/28/nhelmet128.xml
Posted by: Beavis   2008-04-23 12:52  

#3  From a month ago

Vader smoking a cig is Beautiful
Posted by: Beavis   2008-04-23 12:52  

#2  Sounds to me like alcoholic asshole-on-nerd violence.
Posted by: Scooter McGruder   2008-04-23 07:27  

#1  Nerd on nerd violence....
Posted by: john frum   2008-04-23 07:03  

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