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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Ninjas pepper strippers with pink paintballs |
| 2008-04-14 |
| Another sensless Florida strip joint ninja paintball shooting... BOYNTON BEACH — Three men dressed in black walked into Platinum Gold strip club on the city's southeast side Sunday night and started shooting exotic dancers with paintball guns, police said. It was Sunday. It was quiet in Boynton Beach. We were working the nightwatch out of the Ninja Paintball Strip Joint Shooting Task Force... The men, along with an afternoon-shift dancer and another woman who had been arguing with a manager when the shooters showed up, all fled the club at 3675 S. Federal Hwy. before police got there about 11:15 p.m. Damn! They're always one step ahead of us!! Officers rushed in to discover three dancers, ages 28, 44 and 51, peppered with pink paintballs and covered in circular bruises. City paramedics treated the dancers in the club. C'mon, guys. Help grandma out too. Oh. Sorry... Surveying the rest of the club, they noticed several broken, paint splattered mirrors and a bar top stained in a patchwork of flamingo splotches. So what's your take, Muldoon? I think that stripper likes me. After investigating, police came to suspect the three men paintballed the dance club on behalf of the afternoon-shift dancer, who became angry after the manager refused to exchange her "funny money" for cash earlier in the day, police said. So who's in town, the North Koreans or the Gaza Chamber of Commerce? After the attack, both the dancer and the other woman drove from the club in a green mini van, police said. What that has to do with anything, I do not know... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #11 "Soccer Moms" is sooooooooo 2005 > its "NASCAR MOMS" now. YESTERDAY > CGI-Photoshop + VICTORIA'S SECRET = putting sexy slinky, Anorexic/Bulimic-and-Proud Supermodel Heads on PLUS-SIZED+ FEMME BODIES TO SELL LINGERIE FASHIONS??? WHAT HATH THE "MCCAIN GIRLS" WROUGHT ON UNSUSPECTING POST 9-11 UNITARIAN SOCIALIST AMERIKA??? |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2008-04-14 19:42 |
| #10 My work here is done ;-) |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-04-14 19:30 |
| #9 Alright Frank, how do I get these salsa stains off of my screen? |
| Posted by: Glenmore 2008-04-14 19:24 |
| #8 51-year-old stripper: "he hit my breasts with paintballs" Shooter: "I was aiming for her knees. They got in the way" |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-04-14 18:40 |
| #7 Paintballs hurt like h-e-double-hockey sticks. Yikes. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2008-04-14 17:36 |
| #6 and a bar top stained in a patchwork of flamingo splotches The staff writer for this piece (a Mr. LaForgia) paints a purty picture, reminiscent of a form of novel only my wife reads. He missed his calling. |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2008-04-14 17:14 |
| #5 Yup, unfortunately it does. |
| Posted by: Col B. Guano (eret.) 2008-04-14 16:57 |
| #4 Is this one of those entries in the New York Post's all-time greatest headlines vote? |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2008-04-14 16:56 |
| #3 Ah, the annual Stripper Hunt. Brings back fond memories, it does... |
| Posted by: Chief Running Gag 2008-04-14 16:49 |
| #2 Careful Mike, the Kos Kiddies will pick right up on that ... |
| Posted by: Steve White 2008-04-14 16:08 |
| #1 . . . both the dancer and the other woman drove from the club in a green mini van . . . In the economic ruin which is George W. Bush's AmeriKKKa, soccer moms are forced to moonlight as exotic dancers to make ends meet. |
| Posted by: Mike 2008-04-14 15:51 |