| Submit your comments on this article |
| Fifth Column |
| HuffPo: Why am I afraid? |
| 2008-03-24 |
| Erica Jong The author is a feminist and 9/11 "truther" most famous for writing a trashy feminist pr0n novel 25 years ago. WARNING: the following article contains horribly misused figurative language which may cause the formation of mental pictures too horrible to contemplate. Those with weak constitutions, or who are easily offended, should hit their "Back" button immediately. Why am I so afraid that the Democratic Party is shooting itself in the foot? The Dems are far from perfect--in any time--but here we are in what has to be a Democratic year and it looks again like we are self-destructing. I wouldn't say "looks like." We have two great candidates--one a hard working, never give up eager beaver, and one an inspiring, heart-leapingly brilliant stallion. Careful with the double entendres there, Erica. Someone could lose an eye! Both have their merits. Both care for what Democrats are best at caring for--working people, children's and women's rights, financial realism. . . . surrender abroad, higher taxes at home, centrally-planned political economy, the usual stuff. And yet we have had great candidates before--think Al Gore--and lost to the low-level conniving, smearing and swift boating of the GOP (Grandiose Old Plutocrats). . . . We need beavers and we need stallions. Erica, that's enough with the creepy metaphor. Beavers get the work done. Stop it, you've gone far enough. Stallions inspire us. Erica. Please? And they both have limitations. Stallions have fragile legs (think Barbaro). And beavers are nothing without their teeth. Erica! Stop this right now! Put down the beaver-stallion metaphor, back away from the keyboard, and nobody has to get hurt. It's not a matter of choosing between inspiration and hard work. We need both. We need to be inspired and then we need those who will never give up till they execute the inspiration. Any fool knows that. The Democratic Party ought to know it too. And the sooner they bring the beaver and the stallion together, Stop it, already! That's a mental picture I Do! Not! Need! the better off we'll all be. There is no choice here. There ought to be no ego, But there are Clintons involved. no genderizing and no racializing. You may want to sit down for these next three sentences. You are about to witness a truly shocking sight: Erica Jong saying something sensible! Americans are neither black nor white. We are all as mixed as Brazilians. We are a honey-colored race--with Africans, Europeans, Asians and Native Americans intermingled in our DNA. That's the glory of America. If Dick Cheney is genetically related to Barack Obama, what more do we need to know? Well said, ma'am. You've stated the case against identity politics as well as anyone. So let's stop talking about race and gender Cool. You Dems go first. and let the beaver and the stallion Damn it! Put that metaphor down right now! both serve our country--in their own inimitable ways. |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #14 Beaver? Why am i reminded of a Primus song? |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2008-03-24 23:38 |
| #13 :-D |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-03-24 20:54 |
| #12 With a vocabulary like yours, there are so many choices. |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2008-03-24 20:00 |
| #11 Well, hell - for some reason my eggs-cellent snark won't post. :-( (Wonder which word is a no-no?) |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-03-24 19:45 |
| #10 Another test |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-03-24 19:43 |
| #9 test |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-03-24 19:42 |
| #8 She wrote a book or two after Fear of Flying about the same characters and her continuing obsession with sexual organs and activities. A single entendre girl if ever there was one. Although, given the apparent attitudes of her current tale's heroine, I don't think eager beaver is quite the phrase she really wants to use. Besides, I don't think cool people say that any more. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2008-03-24 19:09 |
| #7 If they're this crazy now, imagine how crazy they'll be after they LOSE the election. |
| Posted by: DMFD 2008-03-24 18:55 |
| #6 Why am I afraid? OK, I'll have a crack at it (*rimshot*): Uh... because you're an idiot. |
| Posted by: Jitch, Scourge of the Veal Cutlets4098 2008-03-24 15:50 |
| #5 Stallions are purty to look at, but them beavers have big, sharp teeth. Once the beaver bites the stallions nuts off, the poor horsey will just collapse in unremitting pain. |
| Posted by: Woozle Elmeter 2700 2008-03-24 15:30 |
| #4 And the sooner they bring the beaver and the stallion together, Ima sending this in to Conan O'Brien for the "If They Mated" morphing segment. |
| Posted by: ed 2008-03-24 13:29 |
| #3 We have two great candidates--one a hard working, never give up eager beaver, and one an inspiring, heart-leapingly brilliant stallion. Somehow, thinking of Hillary as an "eager beaver" made me throw up in my mouth a little. |
| Posted by: Rambler in California 2008-03-24 13:23 |
| #2 You're afraid because you're a fuckin ditz, Erica. Just like you've been for the last thirty something years since you wrote that root canal of a book. Fear of Flying. I was going out with a girl in college who read it and insisted that I read it too for some kind of, I dunno, enlightenment?. Lasted about 25 pages. Told her if a guy wrote crap pr0n like that he'd be sleeping in the subway, not be some kinda feminist chick god. She still writes like the fourth stringer for some high school newspaper. This is crap. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2008-03-24 13:14 |
| #1 Drink alert! |
| Posted by: lotp 2008-03-24 13:09 |