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| Lileks: Taking the side of the demon |
| 2008-03-04 |
| I watched most of “Beowulf” over the weekend, and it was a technically marvelous disappointment. The portion where Beowulf fights Grendel in the buff is amusing – Lo, the strategically placed weenie-blockers they had in Danish halls in those day. . . . The story contruded mightily with the original plot, too. “The Christ-god has made men martyrs, full of fear and shame,” says Beowulf. "Hark – what is that? I hear yonder hoofbeats of revisionist authors over the ridge, my liege. What shall we do?" "Casheth the check, Hmerlthsgird, and return unto Mal-A-Bue, where maidens and mead doth await, dothily." It was like that throughout the movie, and I can well imagine the first story conference: Gentlemen, we have one of the oldest legends of our civilization here, a tale full of robust heroism, a frank raw tale of a brave man against the dark forces of a demon-cursed land. Obviously we can’t have any of that. It brings to mind this story about the lack of heroes in movies nowadays, and as regular readers probably know, I’ve been banging that gong for years. If they’d made the original Star Wars in the current day Luke would have found out that the Rebellion was a false-flag operation set up by the Empire, and he would have renounced the Force, moved back home and sold pots. I fear the next Indiana Jones movie, in a way; it’s possible he will spend the fourth movie apologizing for the first three, and do his best to battle the forces of English imperialism as he seeks to return the Elgin Marbles. By some odd coincidence that’s the theme of this week’s comic book cover – three Liberty Scouts hitting Nazis in the face with fists, and doing so with relish. In the olden times grown men didn’t read comics; they read pulps and Astonishing Tales and Lurid Yarns and Fevered Jollies and other mags that presumed a certain amount of literacy. The comics were strictly kid-stuff, wish-fulfillment. I was lucky enough to come in at the end of the bad-guy era; it was okay to have evil Commies as the villains, even if they were from Unnamed Countries with chunky consonant pile-ups at the end of their name. What happened? Intellectual isolationism; a parochial fascination with American deficiencies; the elevation of trans-national ideas that seemed grounded in sensible non-ideological concerns (save the planet! Stop world poverty!) but were quickly bent to an agenda that viewed capitalism and American power as the problem, and defined “freedom” down to a specific set of personal actions and attributes that not only neglected to include Property, but managed to make Property part of the problem. He said, enjoying his rank overgeneralizations. Chalk it up to the late boomers, and the generation that never really felt proud of America, and almost regarded the concept as something greasy and false. Yes, yes, the usual parade of strawmen. But imagine a story conference for the Beowulf movie: you know, I see modern parallels here – not surprising, given the timelessness of the epic. But the Mead Hall is civilization itself, an outpost constructed against the elements, and Grendel is the raging force that hates the song they sing- “They hate us for our singing!” Knowing chuckles around the table. No seriously, he does hate them for their singing. That’s the point. He hates what they’ve built, what they’ve done, how they live their lives. “Maybe he has reason. That’s the interesting angle. What drives Grendel?” Yes, you’re right. You’re absolutely right. No one’s ever taken the side of the demon in the entire history of literature, especially the last 40 years. By all means, let us craft an elaborate backstory for the guy who breaks down the door and chews the heads of the townsfolk, that we may better understand how we came to this point. The difference between these films and, say, Pixar? (G)Nat is so excited to see Wall-E based on two short trailers that she built a robot in Girl Scouts tonight and named it Wall-E and speaks for it in the Wall-E voice. |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #5 I might watch it for the Sci-Fi and CGI animation (and the Dragon fight) but not for the 'story'. How many people saw the 'Beowulf and Grendle' movie from a few years ago? That had Grendle as just another misunderstood misfit who was 'wronged' when the [bigoted] villagers killed his father. And of coure it had the hapless (and powerless) christian preacher. And your right, Pathfinder was horribly bad and stupid. |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2008-03-04 14:58 |
| #4 Ah guys, the fight with the dragon was worth the price of admission. Those of us who had to read Beowulf in the original (Hwaet! We Gar-Dena in geardagum.....)just take it as another Hollywood "inspired by" remake. |
| Posted by: RWV 2008-03-04 14:35 |
| #3 Hollywood throwing their millions into educating the rubes only to find out that no one really cares what they think or say anymore. The whole Hollywood scene reminds me of a fading silent-movie star. They still believe in their own greatness and the rest of the world could care less. |
| Posted by: Crease Poodle1618 2008-03-04 13:13 |
| #2 Oh, and if anyone's tempted to see "Pathfinder", don't. God, that movie sucked, despite having some promise -- a story about a Viking child orphaned in Vinland? Interesting! Except, it wasn't. It was cliched and ham-handed. The Vikings were straight off a heavy metal album cover -- horned helmets, Games Workshop armor. They brought horses to the New World, and actually had cavalry. There was a scene where the hero stole a shield and rode it down a snowy mountainside, with Vikings following him the same way. I swear, one of them hit him half a dozen times with a mace, and it did NOTHING. |
| Posted by: Rob Crawford 2008-03-04 08:03 |
| #1 My ex-fiance saw Beowulf in the theater. After it was over, she sent me a text message: "Saw Beowulf. Putrid" Mind you, she's got two degrees in English and is a huge Tolkien fan. She probably read Beowulf in the Old English, or at the least in a side-by-side translation. I feel sorry for anyone involved with that movie if they should cross her path. |
| Posted by: Rob Crawford 2008-03-04 08:00 |