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| Home Front: Culture Wars |
| How to Get the World to Like Us |
| 2007-10-30 |
| Ron Silver's beautifully sarcastic plan for the world. Who knew anyone in Hollywierd still had a brain? It may take 12 steps to get clean and sober, but only 6 to make the world realize just how super the U.S. can be. 1. We can start by helping the Arabs retake Andalusia. Having conquered it once, it belongs to them forever. This goes for most of the Balkans as well as Austria up to the gates of Vienna. All infidels should convert to Islam. This is inevitable as Islam means “submission.” Needless to say, we should all follow the code of Sharia. It’ll work wonders. No need to tie up the courts with gay marriage cases; we can just kill all the homosexuals. How much better will our soap operas be when the cheating wives get stoned to death? What’s wrong with honor killings of women? Or keeping them uneducated or illiterate? Why can’t heroism be defined as hiding behind women and children while trying deliberately to kill women and children? Able-bodied men should be free to dance and march in the streets, burn flags, shoot guns into the air and contort their faces into grimaces fueled by impotent rage because they are victims (all 360 million of them, let alone their 1.2 billion co-religionists) of the 13 million Jews who run the world (see Chavez, Walt and Mearsheimer). Notwithstanding sitting on more than half of the world’s oil reserves and the massive wealth they have, it is only proper that the rest of the world be responsible for and pay for the Palestinians not given citizenship in Saudi Arabia, Lebanon and the 20 other Arab countries. Not everyone should be made to feel they can contribute by becoming doctors, philosophers, teachers, artists, engineers, etc. What’s so wrong in educating your child to hate, and if you’re a real lucky parent, persuade him or her to kill themselves before they reach puberty? Parental pride takes different forms and we should not presume to judge. Because all cultures are good. Now I know this will offend many in my own community. Hollywood, as we know, is very sensitive to the mistreatment of women, and women’s rights, first amendment protections, separation of church and state and the usual menu of American values like diversity, pluralism, dissent, free press, unfettered artistic expression and all the other BS we try to foist on the world. But what happens in America should stay in America. If filmmakers are killed in Holland, let the Dutch decide if it has a chilling effect on free and unfettered, robust debate. Cartoons that may be offensive should not appear in mainstream news outlets if they are deemed offensive by anybody, not simply the people we’re afraid of because they’ll kill our children and us. All the news that fits ideologically will be printed. 6. We need to speak with Persia. If they want nukes and their neighbors want nukes, who are we to say it’s a bad idea? Appoint Sen. Larry Craig our Ambassador. Let Larry and Mahmoud discuss how the international community can liquidate the state of Israel. No Israel, no more problems. Not only the region and the world, but our university campuses will return to their pre-Israelite calm. The world will shine all the brighter when it’s unburdened by American arrogance and banality. Let’s return to our roots. Good ole’ American isolationism. America, first, now and forever. Return our fleets in the Pacific and Persian Gulf to our shores. Get our troops out of Korea, Germany, the Emirates, wherever. There’s plenty to do here at home. Leave nation building to the Europeans who worked wonders and did their thing in the 20th century. Our beloved land will once again bask in the world’s approval. George McGovern lives, ‘Come Home America.’ To paraphrase the immortal words of one of my fellow artists, we can hold hands, open a Coke and say, “They like us, they really like us.” (h/t Instapundit) |
| Posted by:Glenmore |
| #8 1) Bomb the snot out of Iran. 2) Ask who ELSE doesn't like us? :-) |
| Posted by: DMFD 2007-10-30 22:57 |
| #7 Just need number 7) This is wording from the new HR 1955 to ostensibly tackle radicalization: "Prohibits the Department of Homeland Security's efforts to prevent ideologically-based violence and homegrown terrorism from violating the constitutional and civil rights, and civil liberties, of U.S. citizens and lawful permanent residents". Will this not militate against democracy and the constitution to usher in Sharia law? We had law against the communist overthrow of our government, but I guess that was old-school. |
| Posted by: HammerHead 2007-10-30 21:47 |
| #6 Get rid of toilet seats imprinted with the Koran. Install footwash baths in all public restrooms. Require the Koran be in every school. Have Congress pray to Mecca four times per day. Keith Ellison will be referred to as Emir. Sharia Law will replace Constitutional Law. Ya da ya da ya da. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2007-10-30 18:27 |
| #5 Why whenever I think of Islam do I flash back to the scene in 'Independence Day' where the president tries to negotiate with the Alien at Area 51? Oh, that's right..... All the Pres. asks is how can we live together, what do the Aliens want from us? And the Alien answers......"Die." Think the Mo-boys would object to remaking that movie and giving the bugs turbans? |
| Posted by: AlanC 2007-10-30 14:17 |
| #4 I know. It's an allusion for those who would do everything our enemies wish. They will only reap scorn and hatred. |
| Posted by: ed 2007-10-30 13:40 |
| #3 How to Get the World to There, all fixed. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2007-10-30 13:35 |
| #2 ed, it's SATIRE: It's got too many facts embedded in it to be the product of a TRUE liberal mind... |
| Posted by: ptah 2007-10-30 13:21 |
| #1 Nobody likes a kiss ass. |
| Posted by: ed 2007-10-30 12:53 |