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-Lurid Crime Tales-
InmateÂ’s novel protest inspires judge to rhyme
2007-09-23
CONCORD, N.H. | A federal judge was driven to rhyme after receiving a hard-boiled egg in the mail from a prison inmate protesting his diet. U.S. District Court Judge James Muirhead reached for Dr. SeussÂ’ Green Eggs and Ham for inspiration after getting the egg from inmate Charles Jay Wolff.

“I do not like eggs in the file,” Muirhead wrote. “I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled/Despite an argument well-rambled.”

He then ordered the egg destroyed: “No fan I am/Of the egg at hand. Destroy that egg! Today! Today! Today I say! Without delay!”

Wolff sent the egg in a manila envelope as part of his complaint against state officials. Wolff, 61, says that he is an Orthodox Jew and has accused prison officials of refusing to feed him a kosher diet. Wolff also says he cannot tolerate hard-boiled eggs. He is suing the state Department of Corrections for $10 million.
Should have told the prison officials he was Muslim and demanded a halal diet. They would have fallen over themselves to comply.
Wolff asked the judge to issue a preliminary injunction that would force prison officials to serve him meals that meet “both his spiritual and medical needs.”

Wolff is serving 10 to 20 years for sexually assaulting a 7-year-old girl. His lawsuit was filed in August 2006 and is scheduled for trial in June 2008.
Oh, a pedophile no less. Bet he's in segregation.
“We’ve told him, if you don’t like the eggs, don’t eat them,” said Assistant Attorney General Andrew Livernois, who also received an egg in the mail. “That’s not good enough for him.”
Daily news of the absurd. And doubly absurd, a pedophile suing a jail over his food???? WTF
Posted by:NOLA

#6  I hope some inmate is scrambling Wolff's "eggs" right now.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-09-23 21:39  

#5  A compromise: Shoot him in the head until dead and he will no longer have to suffer bacon and eggs.
Posted by: Excalibur   2007-09-23 19:16  

#4  award the little girl 10 million on his behalf
Posted by: sinse   2007-09-23 16:11  

#3  I would assume that Orthodox Judaism also has rules against sexually assaulting 7-year old girls?
Enjoy your eggs, asshole. And the bacon that come with them. You don't want them, then fuckin starve.
Posted by: tu3031   2007-09-23 12:04  

#2  If Frank G was King™, his "spiritual and medical needs" would involve daily beatings and a Papillon millipede diet. Yeesh, what a POS.
Posted by: Frank G   2007-09-23 08:38  

#1  Mr. Wolff gave up his right to special consideration when he assaulted a child.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-09-23 08:34  

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