Iran wants "peace and friendship for all," the country's president said Wednesday while again denying Western assertions his nation is pursuing nuclear weapons and trying to destabilize Iraq.Peace is good, nuclear weapons bad, check.
But Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took a hard line against Israel, calling it "an invader" and saying it "cannot continue its life."
Suppose for the sake of argument it was. What has it ever done to you? Is it taking up a huge area? Are they some kind of embarassment?
Asked if Iran had launched a proxy war in Iraq -- something the U.S. ambassador and top military commander there both asserted this week -- Ahmadinejad said the United States is merely seeking a scapegoat for its failing campaign in Iraq.
No answer, but looks like we both agree that would be bad. Check.
"Forces have come into Iraq and destroyed the security, and many people are killed," the Iranian president told Britain's ITN during an interview in the garden of the Iranian presidential palace in Tehran.
Suppose again it was true. Why do you care? They were your mortal enemy a few years ago. I thought muslims held grudges for centuries. What's going on here?
"And there are some claims that may seem very funny and ridiculous. Those who have lots of weaponry and warfare and thousands of soldiers -- if they are defeated, they blame others. There is no way to escape for peace."
Huh? Anyway, grow some huevos and say what you want to say, girly-man of the sparse moustache.
Iranians do not believe in war and consider it a "last resort," he said.
War bad, negotiations for the common good are good. Check.
He further claimed that Tehran is a friend of Iraq -- maintaining "good relationships" with the Sunni, Shiite and Kurdish factions -- and "if Iraq is not secure, we are the first country that would be damaged."
That would be irrational, said the scorpion.
He added, "Responsible people should understand this: that Iran is against any sort of insecurity and attacks, and Iraq is able to defend themselves."
Give them a while and they'll be able to attack, too.
During the interview, Ahmadinejad struck a friendly tone toward Britain, saying he regretted that British soldiers have died in Iraq.
Now that you're gone . . .
"We are sorry for your soldiers to be killed. We think peace should exist. Why should there be an invasion so that people will be killed?" he asked.
Doesn't make any sense, does it? Neither does prolonging sectarian violence by arming up both sides.
"We want friendship -- friendship to all. We love all nations and all human beings. Anyone who is killed, we are against it."
Unless they are a kuffir, of course, but that goes without saying. Or if you are a threat to our plan of regional dominance, but that goes without saying, too.
Ahmadinejad urged the United States and Britain to reconsider the invasion of Iraq. The two countries should "correct themselves," he said. If they don't, "the defeat would repeat."
OK, our mistake. We'll invade you instead.
The Islamic republic could help improve conditions in Iraq, but first coalition forces must leave, he said.
If you love peace so much, why not just give us a hand so we can get out of here?
"We can help solve many problems in Iraq. We can help secure Iraq. We can help the attackers leave Iraq if the American government and British government correct themselves." he said.
Which attackers are you referring to? I'm getting more confused by the minute here.
Ahmadinejad has said in the past that Tehran would fill any power vacuum left by a withdrawal of coalition forces in Iraq.
I'm sure they would. Maybe even helping the vacuum along beforehand, too.
The United States has cited the Iranian president's remarks as a reason to continue its efforts in Iraq.
And actions too, mind you!
As for allegations that Tehran is pursuing a nuclear weapon, Ahmadinejad said he resents the notion that Iran "has to obey whatever was put to us" and asked why there is no similar furor over American and British nuclear programs.
Because we aren't religious fanatics and have a proven track record. And we don't say things like Israel must be wiped off the map along with the great satan.
"Our bombs are dangerous, but American bombs are not dangerous?" he asked.
To just about everyone but you, that is true.
When the ITN interviewer asked if he could tour the Natanz nuclear facility in Iran, Ahmadinejad chuckled and asked him if he thought the United States or Britain would allow Iran to inspect their nuclear facilities.
I take that as a "no". BTW, have you asked to visit a civilian nuclear power production facility?
"We do not need a bomb. We are against bombs, actually. There are many reasons we are against it," he said. "From a political point of view, it's not useful, we think."
Quite useless, I assure you. But somehow I doubt that would stop you.
The United Nations Security Council has so far imposed two rounds of limited sanctions against Iran for the country's refusal to suspend its uranium enrichment program.
I wouldn't really call them sanctions, but OK.
Tehran has insisted the program is meant for peaceful energy production.
And if a nuclear bomb were to happen to appear as a by-product, oh well.
In regard to Israel, which Ahmadinejad has said should be politically "wiped off the map," the Iranian president said there is a way to deal with the Jewish state without violence.
No, there isn't. Not for you. Without it, they will always be there. Unless they start behaving like the old Soviet Union.
Giving as an example the dissolution of the Soviet Union -- which he said came about "without war" -- Ahmadinejad suggested that "everything would be solved" if the Palestinian people were allowed to vote on their fate.
Solved?! They have proven time and again they can't manage their own affairs. They don't even understand that you don't weaken the berm around a cesspool that they live under! Unless you are counting on them making the wrong decision, nothing will be solved.
However, his hard-line rhetoric resurfaced when Ahmadinejad said Israel "cannot continue its life."
Please elaborate. I'm sure you have detailed plans on the economic and political measures you are going to take to persuade Israel to dissolve.
"Israel is an invader and is cruel, and it hasn't got a united public. All other nations are against it," he said. "We do not recognize them. They are attackers and illegal."
Wait a minute Nutjob, I think I see your problem. That's a mirror you're looking into, not a window you're looking out of.
