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| Israel-Palestine-Jordan |
| Newest Israeli Secret Weapon Used Against Gaza |
| 2007-08-03 |
| Eat our garbage, Mahmoud! JERUSALEM (AFP) - Israeli forces have again bombarded the Gaza Strip, but this time the "forces" were civilians and their "ammunition" a mixed salad salvo of summer vegetables, fruit and eggs, the press reported on Friday. Up a hundred...left fifty. Fire for effect. The real army put a quick stop to Thursday's barrage, but those behind the ad hoc artillery bombardment still got their message across. Hey! You could... put someone's eye out! For six years southern Israel has been the target of deadly, though usually inaccurate, homemade rockets fired by Palestinian militants. Nine people have been killed and dozens wounded, mostly in and around the town of Sderot. Great Momements in the Palestinian Space Program... "Since the government has done nothing (to stop the attacks), we decided to take things into our own hands," Yigal Tzur, who heads the self-styled Sderot Support Committee, told the Maariv daily newspaper. So they built a launcher from piping and filled it with inflammable liquid for propulsion purposes. Sounds...exciting. Then, taking aim at the northern Gaza town of Beit Hanun close to the frontier with Israel, they opened fire -- with tomatoes, eggs, cucumbers, mangoes and even corn on the cob. Achmed! Jumina! Manna from Allah! Tzur was wrong when he said the government had done nothing to stop the rocket fire, although it is true that all efforts have so far failed. Scores of Palestinians have been killed in retaliatory air and artillery strikes since the rocket fire first began. The army has also made occasional ground incursions in a bid to knock out mobile teams of rocket launchers. Screw the Death Ray, Shlomo. Show these people we mean business! Break out the Salad Shooter!! |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #25 Next, they'll fire turkeys. “As G-d is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2007-08-03 22:47 |
| #24 What would Emeril Lagasse do? Somet?hing Creole possibly |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2007-08-03 21:55 |
| #23 ROLF DAN!! |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2007-08-03 21:44 |
| #22 I hear the next secret weapon will be a paper bag filled with sh*t and lit on fire. |
| Posted by: PlanetDan 2007-08-03 18:13 |
| #21 No, they'd still be carrying AKs. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2007-08-03 16:32 |
| #20 Wait, won't this feed the starving Paleos? It could be raining soup and the Paleostinians would be carrying forks. |
| Posted by: eLarson 2007-08-03 16:25 |
| #19 OP, I'd beleive 600 feet or perhaps 600 yards but I think 6 miles for a VW would be pushing it. I do think pig parts in a pigskin capsule would be a great ammunition. Just make sure it holds together til impact (unless a Time Delay fuse is available). |
| Posted by: Throger Thains8048 2007-08-03 15:26 |
| #18 Trebuchets aren't that hard to build, and one in England threw a Volkswagen over six miles. Any kind of catapult would work, of course. Cook up a big pig stew, put it in a thin plastic pouch that will splatter when it hits something, and launch away. Hamass will either collapse or surrender within a week. |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2007-08-03 14:59 |
| #17 Jeebus, USN, Ret., whatcha got against good ole' sewage bacteria? Why would they wanna lower themselves into the land known as Gaza? |
| Posted by: BA 2007-08-03 14:56 |
| #16 The Zionist Produce Launcher in action... http://haaretz.com/hasite/images/iht_daily/D020807/300eggs1_REU.gif |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-08-03 14:47 |
| #15 Next up, Pressurized honey wagon unloadings.... |
| Posted by: USN, Ret. 2007-08-03 14:29 |
| #14 The citizens of Sderot should check with the denizens of Guffey, Colorado to learn the finer points of launching chickens. About 20 years ago they began an annual chicken fly in Guffey just for the fun of it. People pay to launch chickens off a 12-foot drop using a rural mail box with both ends removed and a toilet plunger to get them to “fly.” Of course, activists with United Poultry Concerns object to this fun, but I suppose the Israelis aren't bothered by this bunch. Guffey is also known for running a DemoCAT and a RePUPlican in the mayorial race. |
| Posted by: GK 2007-08-03 14:18 |
| #13 Slightly boil the potato, lace it with ball-bearings and paw's chopped up rusty razor blades, powered by vO5 through a spud gun works wonders for the neighbours. Am working on the Willy Pete version. |
| Posted by: rhodesiafever 2007-08-03 13:03 |
| #12 Ouch. Now that is one hell of a taunt. Begs the question, why the hell stop em? |
| Posted by: Icerigger 2007-08-03 12:52 |
| #11 I have to agree with the pig parts idea. Big hunks of fetid dead pig would cause lots of hysteria, and they could hire a few reform Jews to do it. Israelis at least used to raise lots of pigs, though there was some effort to outlaw it. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-08-03 12:41 |
| #10 Great idea. Ridicule kills inflexible religion. Yup. More cartoons! And this time make them feature length. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2007-08-03 12:41 |
| #9 It's the equivalent of putting an entire area in stocks! Great idea. Ridicule kills inflexible religion. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2007-08-03 12:29 |
| #8 You're starving? You poor things... Here, I'll give yez some f$%@king food! Open wide, Bichiz! |
| Posted by: Mike N. 2007-08-03 12:00 |
| #7 Get the guys from Mythbusters to build a chicken cannon. |
| Posted by: Rob Crawford 2007-08-03 11:55 |
| #6 Actually, there is a wonderful subtext to this hilarity. The Israelis are also sending their cretinous Palestinian enemies the unmistakable message of: "There's so much food over here that we can blow it out our Considering how bad things are in Gaza, it must be enervating as hell to see perfectly edible food rain down in tatters. Especially after their ruination of the greenhouses. Pretty much the equivalent of: "Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time." |
| Posted by: Zenster 2007-08-03 11:50 |
| #5 Wait, won't this feed the starving Paleos? |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2007-08-03 11:50 |
| #4 Israel, listen, the US has a 20 year lead on you in the development of VPM's (vegetable projectile machines). Just Google "punkin chunkin" and you'll come up with loads of practice proven VPM technology. I'll bet, you could come up with dozens of volunteers to set up VPM's to bombard the Palestinians with vegetable matter. |
| Posted by: JabbaTheTutt 2007-08-03 11:37 |
| #3 Time to fabricate a couple of Onangers! My nephew has built some wicked potato guns though! Good for 300 yds or so. DanNY |
| Posted by: DanNY 2007-08-03 11:30 |
| #2 Decaying pig parts would also get your message to the Paloes. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2007-08-03 11:22 |
| #1 big potatoe gun? keep shoting potatoes and your point wi;; be made since they hurt like hell when coming out of one of those things |
| Posted by: sinse 2007-08-03 11:19 |