 KANDAHAR, Afghanistan - The leader of AfghanistanÂ’s Taleban militia acknowledged Monday that top military commander Mullah Dadullah had been killed and said the slain rebelÂ’s brother would succeed him.
| "We can't delay the announcement any longer, boys, they got our dear leader wrapped in lavender!" |
The TalebanÂ’s leadership council led by Mullah Mohammad Omar has appointed DadullahÂ’s younger brother, Mullah Bakht Mohammad, to take his place, a spokesman said.
| Bakht? Isn't that a Klingon name? |
Omar, who has a 10 million US dollar bounty on his head, said there were a thousand fighters ready to avenge the commander, according to a statement read by another Taleban spokesman. “This is not going to slow down the Taleban jihad (holy war),” spokesman Yousuf Ahmadi told AFP by telephone.
| "No, no, certainly not! We got hundreds who can replace Peg Leg!" |
Ahmadi said Monday that Omar and the Taleban leadership council offered their condolences to the family of Dadullah, “his mujahedin (holy warriors), the Muslims of Afghanistan and the Muslims of the world.”
| "Sorry 'bout that, lady, but maybe we can retrieve his peg leg for a proper funeral." |
At the same time, the Taleban congratulated Afghanistan on his ”martyrdom,” Ahmadi said.
| We're pretty pleased ourselves. |
“There are hundreds and thousands of mujahedin who have fought under Dadullah and there are hundreds and thousands of mujahedin who are able to replace Mullah Dadullah very well.”
| And we can help you 'go through' them. |
Ahmadi said the one-legged commander, who was aged about 40, had fought long and hard before he was finally killed. “Mullah Dadullah had resisted and fought for a full day, 24 hours, against NATO and Afghan troops and then he was martyred,” the spokesman said.
"Infidels to the left of me! Infidels to the right of me! Infidels in front of me! Infidels behind me!"
"What happened next, Dadullah?"
"Well, I died, of course!" |
“The first day after his martyrdom they did not know that it was Dadullah. After that they realised.”
"One leg?"
"Check."
"Bushy beard?"
"Check."
"Ugly mutt?"
"Check."
"Hokay, it's Dadullah. Phone it in." |
Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, a renegade warlord who can't throw a grenade properly leads a separate insurgency against the US-backed government of President Hamid Karzai, also expressed condolences over DadullahÂ’s killing, a spokesman told AFP over the phone from the massage table at Qazi's cabana an undisclosed location.
| We've just got to get better at tapping the AFP phones. |
The Taleban’s Ahmadi threatened reprisals if Dadullah’s body was not returned. “If the government doesn’t hand over the body of Mullah Dadullah with respect we’ll be giving the same treatment to the bodies of government troops and members we might capture in future,” he said.
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