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(Junk Mail)

Anyone interested?

2007-05-15

Hello,
Howdy.
I am Major Ralph Harland, I am a British officer attached to UN peace Keeping force in Iraq,
The UN sent a peacekeeping force to Iraq? When did that happen? Where'd they find the peace to keep? Why'd they send Brits instead of the usual Banglas or Fiji Islanders?
I am the commanding officer of the First Battalion of the Royal Irish Regiment, as you may know everyday, there are several cases of insurgents attacks and suicide bombs going on here.
Mostly not against the Brits, though. I mean, they don't wear helmets or anything, right?
We managed to Move funds belonging to some demised persons who were attacked and killed through insurgent attacks. The total amount is US$9.5 Million dollars in cash.
That's a lot of cash those demised persons kept around. Who were they? Why would they have been killed in insurgent attacks? Probably couldn't get away because their wallets were so heavy, huh?
We want to move this money to you, so that you may keep our share for us until when we shall come over to meet you.
No doubt you do. [Little do you realize this email account is maintained under an assumed name. Why, I've managed to accumulate millions upon millions of dollars moved out of the continent of Africa alone. I've ripped off the dying bequests of hundreds of victims of the Gulf States esophageal cancer epidemic! All those barristers writing from Britain wanting to gut the estates of the intestate? I outwitted each and every one of them! That Chinaman in Hong Kong? I'm the one who cleaned him out, leaving his bank an empty shell! Ha ha! How do you think I've been running Rantburg all these years with only a few reader donations and the occasional pitiful handful of blogads?]
We will take 60%, my partner and I. You take 40%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone.
No! Reeeeally? When did that happen?
We plan on using Diplomatic courier and shipping the money out in two large metallic boxes, using diplomatic immunity.
Golly, shucks. When I was in the army I didn't get diplomatic immunity. That must be something new, huh?
If you are interested I will send you the full details; my aim is to find a good partner that we can trust and assist us can you be trusted?
Oh, yasss. Certainly. Nobody more trustworthy than me...
When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail here majorralphharland@yahoo.co.uk, or ralpharlanduk@aol.co.uk signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication and also your contact details. This business is 100% risk free.
Aren't they all?
Respectfully,

Major Ralph

Posted by:Steve

#14 I kepm,all this "Nigerian" crap in a big file, whenever I get another I send them the last 100 that I've recieved, one at a time, usualy I never hear from that particular scamster again.

Posted by: Redneck Jim 2007-05-15 18:16

#13 put these guys on some of his mailing lists . . . .

Gorb, you'd be the collateral damage in this scenario.

Posted by: Shipman 2007-05-15 17:22

#12 Hey, I just thought of a good use for spam: Put this guy's name on every spam mailing list you can find. Now if we could just ressurect .com to put these guys on some of his mailing lists . . . .

Posted by: gorb 2007-05-15 16:42

#11 I got a similiar one after many and finally said "Fu*k you--why don't you get a job." I was surprised to get a response which addressed me by name and said "Fu*k You."

Posted by: JohnQC 2007-05-15 14:47

#10 I've been getting these for about the last six months. Some are from Major Ralph, a couple are from supposed enlisted troops, and one is supposedly from an Iraqi general. The wording is almost exactly the same in each case. I really do wish that the perpetrators of this crap would get caught, and turned over to their victims for retribution. After that, feed what's left to the sharks.

Posted by: Old Patriot 2007-05-15 14:40

#9 Your theory is safe with you, Gort.

Posted by: Chaise Bourbon4774 2007-05-15 13:08

#8 Obviously a fake - A British officer would not say "demised persons".

I believe he would say "'ees pinning for the fjords", or "he has ceased to be" or "this insurgent is no more".

Something like that.

That is my theory, which is mine.

Posted by: GORT 2007-05-15 09:33

#7 A new twist on the Nigerian scam. By the way, Major whoever the hell you are, up yours. Keep the booty and shove it up your booty.

Posted by: JohnQC 2007-05-15 09:32

#6 Dear Major Ralph,

At your earliest and most opportune moment please permit me, along with all other concerned citizens, to ask that you cram it with walnuts, sideways.

Posted by: Zenster 2007-05-15 01:48

#5 I thought it was 'paper or plastic'....well, this is gonna cost me, so I'll just send you my bank account number for a $ transfer. You can keep 5% for your trouble, and thanks in advance. :)

Posted by: Stretch Pelosi1073 2007-05-15 01:40

#4 Hokay, Stretch, you're in. You fence the metal box, I'll fence the cash. I'll get you 40% for your trouble. Honest. Really.

But you're going to need a large metal box to carry your share ...

Posted by: Steve White 2007-05-15 00:53

#3 Cut me in! Fencing large metalic boxes is my specialty!

Posted by: Stretch Pelosi6554 2007-05-15 00:31

#2 You know the RAB should get in on this. They have heaps of demised persons.

The other day Tim Blair pointed to this statement from a big shot Queensland copper, saying that Queenslanders fall for this stuff because of their strong belief in a "fair go".

Because if a man can't help a stranger rip off a bunch of widders 'n orphinks in some impoverished plague spot, then just what is the world coming to, I ask you.

Posted by: Angie Schultz 2007-05-15 00:30

#1 "Major Harland's" scam letter was already posted here on 5/06/07.

Posted by: GK 2007-05-15 00:19

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