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| Saving the Earth: The Biodiesel Bus Blog |
| 2007-04-23 |
| Excerpts from the chronicles of singer Sheryl Crow and environmentalist Laurie David, traveling across America on a two-week Stop Global Warming College Tour: Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold. Honestly: I would expect any mentally-competent 6-year-old to have more sense than this. |
| Posted by:Dave D. |
| #30 Rosie to Sheryl Crow: "Have You Seen My Ass? Rosie took a moment on this morning's "The View" to express her incredulity at the supposedly enviro-friendly suggestion. "Have you seen my ass?!" bellowed Rosie, and Barbara Walters was good enough to warn viewers not to use their sleeves, another of Crow's helpful suggestions. Check the pic, priceless. |
| Posted by: KBK 2007-04-23 22:38 |
| #29 I know I sound like a broken record, but jeez. "Too stupid to live" really should be a valid diagnosis. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2007-04-23 18:37 |
| #28 Women's restroom in the Moscow Int'l airport - at least 10 stalls, 2 huge rolls of TP on the outside, no rolls inside and no seats, just porcelein. Big improvement. My boss visited Russia in the mid '60s, no TP available, and just squat holes. He said it looked like the previous occupants were using their hand (left, I presume) and wiping it off on the walls. So if Crow wants to be a real progressive, there's a further step she could take. |
| Posted by: KBK 2007-04-23 17:38 |
| #27 I'm told stones held in the left hand work well. Inshallah. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2007-04-23 17:00 |
| #26 If you get only one sheet, save it for cleaning under your finger nails. |
| Posted by: wxjames 2007-04-23 16:06 |
| #25 The conservatives want to tell you what you can do in your bedroom, and the progressives want to tell you |
| Posted by: KBK 2007-04-23 14:53 |
| #24 You meanies lay off! Sheryl and Laurie David are doing so much |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2007-04-23 13:59 |
| #23 Ack! QED. PIMF |
| Posted by: GORT 2007-04-23 13:41 |
| #22 Guys, you are missing the point. Sheryl doesn't think her s&%! stinks. Therefore the need for only one square. GED |
| Posted by: GORT 2007-04-23 13:39 |
| #21 I know this will sound un-American but... with thoughts like this shouldn't she just shut up and sing? |
| Posted by: Ebbirong Barnsmell9989 2007-04-23 13:16 |
| #20 How about we ban CD's, Sheryl? Aren't they made from evil fossil fuels? I'll bet that would really help... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2007-04-23 13:15 |
| #19 I'm not sure how the toilet paper inconvenience will cool the Sun's temperatures enough to make a difference regarding Global Warming but I'm willing to see all the greenies try. Who knows, if nothing else it might prevent them from reproducing. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2007-04-23 12:56 |
| #18 I hope you all now agree that "Demolition Man" was a FAR better film than you first realised. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles in Blairistan 2007-04-23 12:42 |
| #17 When I first read this, two things immediately came to mind. First, it is far more likely than not that Ms. Crow does NOT practice this low level of personal hygiene on herself, but in true limo-lib fashion merely demands it from others. Second, if she DOES in fact do this, it could explain, in part, Lance's leaving. (Oral sex? Yuck.) As a corollary to the second point, does heating the hot water to bathe off the poorly removed bits of bathroom visits not harm the environment more, or require more fossil fuels than, simply cleaning one's self properly at the point of bathroom use? Is it even possible for someone of Crow's subhuman intelligence to think of things like that? |
| Posted by: no mo uro 2007-04-23 11:31 |
| #16 One could also clean her ass with the left hand. Or how about recycled diesel fuel? Corn cobs? Recycled newspaper? Or maybe consider just STFU. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2007-04-23 11:07 |
| #15 Women's restroom in the Moscow Int'l airport - at least 10 stalls, 2 huge rolls of TP on the outside, no rolls inside and no seats, just porcelein. And they knew I was American by my what the hell look on my face. |
| Posted by: anonymous2u 2007-04-23 11:01 |
| #14 Proof they want us to live in the Dark Ages. |
| Posted by: anonymous2u 2007-04-23 10:58 |
| #13 #12 was me. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2007-04-23 10:14 |
| #12 Ask her what knid of wood her guitar is made of. |
| Posted by: Jimmy Buffet 2007-04-23 10:12 |
| #11 Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but Translation: yeah, actually I DO want to take away your rights. Finally, since when is lack of oxygen a problem? Judging by how some of these enviro-nuts "think", I'm guessing hypoxia could have played a role at one time. (IANAD) |
| Posted by: eLarson 2007-04-23 09:59 |
| #10 This shows the mindset of enviro-nuts: that everybody *else* has to cut back in their use of everything. They are incapable of imagining an alternative where everybody gets to use *more*, but it is done in a sensible way. For example, why not grow hemp for paper? It would be a lot more comfy than paper, cheaper, can be grown in marginal ground with several crops a year. Leave the wood for lumber, a much more valuable per square acre use. Everybody benefits. But the eco-nuts don't want to hear that. They live with the credo that everybody *else* has to do with less, lead poorer lives, and have less stuff. Which doesn't apply to them, because *they* think that *they* are elites, to whom the rules shouldn't apply. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-04-23 09:44 |
| #9 I could work with a single sheet but they would have to be about 6 square feet each. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2007-04-23 09:36 |
| #8 I can see it now. A computer in every public restroom doling out toilet paper. You take that second square and a Clippy like character appears on the display named Tee Pee. I see you are taking more than one square of toilet paper. Would you like me to explain why saving a tree is more importnant than your selfish personal hygiene? The opportunities for new products would be amazing... Like prposefully built .45 cal guns for shooting the computer. Extra points if your bullet goes straight into the clippy-like TeePee. |
| Posted by: JFM 2007-04-23 09:31 |
| #7 Reminds me of story a friend of mine used to tell about going to to the toilet in a large public building in the old Soviet Union. You got one sheet of toilet paper and sign for it. |
| Posted by: phil_b 2007-04-23 09:22 |
| #6 This isn't the Onion? I hate to tell her, but paper is made from trees grown as a crop, not virgin forests. Besides, North America has more forest now than when Europeans arrived. Finally, since when is lack of oxygen a problem? Idiocy + money is a bad combination. |
| Posted by: Spot 2007-04-23 08:55 |
| #5 Mohammed: Told his followers how to wipe their butts. Enviromentalists: Tell their followers how to wipe their butts. Both cases result in increased potential for death and disease. |
| Posted by: Big Glolump6310 2007-04-23 08:05 |
| #4 Does Tofu kill braincells or something? This chick is spun. I can't think of anything that is less her business than how many squares of toilet paper I or anyone else uses (per sitting). |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2007-04-23 08:02 |
| #3 I can see it now. A computer in every public restroom doling out toilet paper. You take that second square and a Clippy like character appears on the display named Tee Pee. I see you are taking more than one square of toilet paper. Would you like me to explain why saving a tree is more importnant than your selfish personal hygiene? The opportunities for new products would be amazing... |
| Posted by: badanov 2007-04-23 07:40 |
| #2 Perhaps Lance shouldn't have gotten divorced then, ed. Why the trophy wife/girlfriend anyway? |
| Posted by: Eric Jablow 2007-04-23 07:37 |
| #1 The original Huffington Post I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out." My sympathies Lance. Non-bed time with Cheryl must have been like dental surgery with anesthesia. |
| Posted by: ed 2007-04-23 06:42 |