| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Republicans Hint that Self-Immolation Might Be More Effective than Anti-War Hunger Strikes |
| 2006-11-06 |
| From The Nose on Your Face, which bills itself as "News so fake you'll swear it came from the mainstream media" With the elections just a few days away, Republicans continue to scoff at anti-war hunger strikes as “rookie stuff” and have quietly suggested that the anti-war movement should elevate their game if they really want results. “Yeah, the notion of Cindy Sheehan surviving on banana smoothies for a couple days really has us up nights,” said one Bush staffer. “These guys have really got to step it up if they want to be taken seriously. They need to draw on the heritage of their 1960s anti-war predecessors. I’m pretty sure that if the bunch of them set themselves on fire, we’d take notice.” Self-Immolation has been practiced as a means of protest throughout history, but was most common during the Vietnam War, when several Buddhist monks and American citizens burned themselves to death. “If Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn and Danny Glover were all simultaneously lit up like torches, we’d probably have the troops home in a couple weeks,” continued the staffer. “I mean, I can’t promise anything-- I'm just free-lancing here. But that sort of…demonstration of commitment…might get us to realize the error of our ways. I might be going out on a limb here, but a crispy Barbra Streisand might be worth a roll back of the tax cuts. Hell, I'd marry a gay Hollywood producer and adopt several Pakistani refugees if you set Alec Baldwin ablaze." Heartwarming, isn' it? |
| Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy |
| #5 ROFLMAO, #1 'moose! :-D |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2006-11-06 22:56 |
| #4 Oh man! I lost half my beer on the screen with the Alec comment! |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2006-11-06 19:10 |
| #3 heh heh... Republican Taqqiya... |
| Posted by: Frank G 2006-11-06 18:42 |
| #2 Hell, I'd marry a gay Hollywood producer and adopt several Pakistani refugees if you set Alec Baldwin ablaze." Hmmmm, that does sound attractive, but throw Babs, Susie, Nancy Pelosi, and a few others on the barbie so I'll have real incentive, okay? |
| Posted by: FOTSGreg 2006-11-06 18:36 |
| #1 Well, you know what they say: "Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for an hour. But set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2006-11-06 18:23 |