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-Lurid Crime Tales-
"The principal is a witch! Honest!"
2006-11-06
James Taranto, "Best of the Web," Wall Street Journal

Zero-Tolerance Watch

Tyler Stoken, a fourth-grader at Central Park Elementary School in Aberdeen, Wash., is in hot water after taking a standardized test, Bloomberg reports:

Tyler came upon this question: "While looking out the window one day at school, you notice the principal flying in the air. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens."

The nine-year-old was afraid to answer the question about his principal, Olivia McCarthy. "I didn't want to make fun of her," he says, explaining he was taught to write the first thing that entered his mind on the state writing test.

In this case, Tyler's initial thoughts would have been embarrassing and mean.

So even after repeated requests by school personnel, and ultimately the principal herself, Tyler left the answer space blank. "He didn't want them to know what he was thinking, that she was a witch on a broomstick," says Tyler's mother.

Because Tyler didn't answer the question, McCarthy suspended him for five days. He recalls the principal reprimanding him by saying his test score could bring down the entire school's performance.

"Good job, bud, you've ruined it for everyone in the school, the teachers and the school," Tyler says McCarthy told him.

Why in the world did he think she was a witch?
Posted by:Mike

#4  what a witch.
Posted by: Clereling Cruns6778   2006-11-06 19:04  

#3  Is it just me or does the concept of ‘oneÂ’ data point having significant impact that ‘could bring down the entire school's performanceÂ’ indicate that:

a) there are very few fourth graders at Central Park Elementary School
b) the performance is already in the pits and young Master Stoken was seen as the savior of the ‘average’
c) the principle doesnÂ’t understand the fundamentals of statistics
or
d) the performance of the entire school was already so poor that said principle was looking for an easy scapegoat?
Posted by: Procopius2k   2006-11-06 17:49  

#2  I rather suspect that the principal can't suspend a student for leaving a standardized test question blank. I bet some exploration of that by the parents, with or without legal counsel, will make that clear. I bet further that after the parents and counsel meet with the principal the suspension will be lifted.

If I were a betting man.
Posted by: Steve White   2006-11-06 17:11  

#1  Two comments: first, the kid was right not to answer what he was thinking. In today's PC world writing that answer might have gotten him suspended for longer. Hell, he ought to have refused to answer on 5th Amendment grounds! Second, the principal may not be a witch but she's certainly a first-class, blue-ribbon, fully fledged BITCH. I wouldn't trust her with a pet rock, much less my child. Just think, some people in the education industry wonder why home schooling is growing by leaps and bounds! They need a sound walloping with the big #1 ClueBat!
Posted by: mac   2006-11-06 17:04  

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