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Home Front: WoT
Catherine Mayo shipped to nut farm
2006-09-06
A woman whose actions aboard a London-to-Washington flight provoked a security scare will be held indefinitely at a residential mental health facility in New Hampshire, a federal judge ruled Tuesday.
"Here ya go, lady! A nice, comfy rubber room!"
Catherine Mayo, 59, of Braintree, Vt., has been in federal custody since Aug. 17, when United Flight 923 was diverted to Boston after Mayo urinated on the floor of the cabin and made statements that the pilot and crew believed were references to al-Qaida and the Sept. 11 attacks.
"Captain! There's a lady out here peeing on the floor and muttering stuff about al-Qaeda!"
"Okay, Harriet! I've armed the net."
"We'll try and herd her into it!"
We in the medical profession prefer the Haldol™ tear-gas cannisters ...
At a hearing Tuesday, U.S. Magistrate Timothy Hillman agreed with a defense request that Mayo be taken to the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, N.H., and be put in the official custody of her 31-year-old son. Mayo waived her right to a probable cause hearing on a charge of interfering with a flight crew. Her attorney, public defender Page Kelley, has said Mayo has a long history of mental illness.
"Yer honor, my client's a nut! She can't be held responsible for her actions!"
"Uhuh. And how long has she been a nut?"
"'Bout as long as she can remember!"
"And how long's that? At least."
"Ummm... About a half hour."
Mayo said little during the hearing and did not audibly answer when the judge asked "Ms. Mayo, how are you today?"
"Like, wow man! Listen to the colors!"
During a break, as her lawyer was explaining the conditions of her detention, Mayo repeatedly interrupted her and said: "I did not commit any criminal act. I am not responsible for the federal government arresting me."
"Ain't no law against peeing on the floor! You show me in the law books where there's a law against peeing on the floor! And I had nothin' to do with the gummint arresting me! I wudn't even there!"
Mayo was to be held at the facility until her doctors determine it is safe for her to leave. At that time, her travel would be restricted to New Hampshire, her home state of Vermont and Massachusetts, if she has meetings with her lawyer. She would be subject to arrest if she leaves the center before treatment is finished.
"You're not allowed to go to Connecticut, Ms. Mayo! Sorry!"
"Open the toll gate or I squat!"
The scare on the flight from Heathrow to Washington's Dulles airport came just a week after London authorities said they foiled a terror plot to blow up trans-Atlantic flights. Federal officials have said they have no indications that Mayo had any links to terrorism. Joshua Mayo has described his mother as a peace activist and said she had been returning from several months in Pakistan when she was arrested. He said she has traveled there often since making a pen pal before Sept. 11, 2001.
Important safety tip here: Recreational pharmaceuticals and Lahore just don't mix.
Posted by:Fred

#16  Damn your eyes, DMFD. I don't know how I missed that one, especially seeing as how it occurred to me when this article first surfaced.

Having previously worked in a delicatessen, all through Airplane!'s "Mayo Clinic" scene, I could just see that line coming, it was only a matter of when. The only thing missing was some sort of "Mission Impossible" tie-in with Peter Graves.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-09-06 23:22  

#15  Hold the Mayo!

(Someone had to say it)
Posted by: DMFD   2006-09-06 23:16  

#14  Hey, we are all now educated about how hazardous liquids can be on a plane. Maybe she was suspected of some kind of bladder smuggling of liquid explosives
Posted by: Sheesh   2006-09-06 22:46  

#13  Or the pilots can simply dial down the cabin pressurization: whilst wearing their masks and all the cabin creatures go lights out ( only down side is that the cabin crew does too, unless they get the word and step out to the crew rest compartment and slip into theirs first.) and no complaints about txins of anything. and yes i picked a helluva time to quit drinking / smoking / sniffing glue....
Posted by: USN, ret.   2006-09-06 14:31  

#12  I can take out a whole plane full of folks with my Haldol™ tear gas cannister whilst you're whacking them one at a time with the O2 cannister. However, the Haldol™ cannister does not produce the soul-satisfying 'thud'. Caveat emptor.
Posted by: Steve White   2006-09-06 11:05  

#11  Hey, what's the problem? Sounds like a typical Vermont democrat to me.
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-09-06 11:03  

#10  O2 therapy works as well as haldol.

Rx: One application of the O2 cannister to the side of the head. Repeat as necessary.
Posted by: Fred   2006-09-06 08:00  

#9  IIRC, Barbara was wearing her signature pearls, too. :)
Posted by: flyover   2006-09-06 04:45  

#8  (Does everybody (including me) have that damned film memorized?!?)

Let's face it. This world would be a much better place if so many people dedicated themselves to memorizing "Airplane!" instead of the Koran.

The ending of the "I speak jive, stewdress" scene with Barbara Billingsly sashaying back down the plane's aisle flippantly retorting, "Chump don wan no help, chump don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains anyhow." had me gasping in total hysterics.

SIDEBAR: Does anyone remember the uncensored version of this scene when the movie first hit the theaters? Billingsly most definitely did not say "dude."

"Airplane!" was easily the finest bit of American feature length comedy since the Marx Brothers.

Trivia question: Who was the only regular star from the lengthy "Airport" series of films that did not defect over to the "Airplane!" cast?

Answer: George Kennedy
Posted by: Zenster   2006-09-06 03:53  

#7  
Dr. White, some of your colleagues thought it would be best to inject me with Haldol™ a couple of years ago. They got a case of the ass because they thought I didn't appreciate the high doses of prednisone they were forcing me to take. How was I to know that it was unreasonably anti-social of me to be grappling with the nursing staff and the security guards fighting to escape the hospital.

the shit works BTW.
Posted by: RD   2006-09-06 02:22  

#6  Oh. If the pilots have masks I withdraw my objections.

(Does everybody (including me) have that damned film memorized?!?)
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-09-06 01:50  

#5  I do not jest, and don't call me Shirley.

The Haldol™ tear-gas cannister is wonderful on airplanes. Pop it and everyone goes into peaceful muttering mode for an hour, and that's all the pilots need to land the plane (they have masks, of course). Awfully hard to bring a plane down (or pee on the carpet runner down the center aisle) when the voices in your head are off to nappy-nap time.
Posted by: Steve White   2006-09-06 01:46  

#4  Separately, that nice Pakistani fiance of hers who isn't allowed into this country will be pining for a long while.

Too bad. He might have been able to beat some sense into her. [rimshot]
Posted by: Zenster   2006-09-06 01:42  

#3  We in the medical profession prefer the Haldol™ tear-gas cannisters

On an airplane with a recirculating air system?!? Surely you jest, Dr. White!

Separately, that nice Pakistani fiance of hers who isn't allowed into this country will be pining for a long while.
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-09-06 01:14  

#2  Joshua Mayo has described his mother as a peace activist and said she had been returning from several months in Pakistan when she was arrested...... she became so excited about returning to the big PX she simply pissed herself.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-09-06 00:33  

#1  They're coming to take me away
ha ha ho ho hee heee
Posted by: Crutle Thromoper7421   2006-09-06 00:26  

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