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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Hilton's CD Instant Tanker
2006-08-31
Paris Hilton's career as a pop star is fizzling as quickly as one of her blink-and-you'll-miss-it relationships. In its first week out of the gate, Hilton's first CD is being widely seen as a certified flop. "Paris," which features the single "Stars Are Blind," sold a lackluster 75,000 copies in the United States - a pittance compared to Christina Aguilera's first-week sales of 320,000, according to Soundscan. And projected sales for next week are said to be a measly 30,000, which is a larger than normal second week drop. "Paris" is languishing at the bottom of Billboard's Hot 100 - so Hilton's label rushed out her second single, "Turn It Up," which isn't doing very well either.
That makes sense. I guess. In a Paris Hilton kind of way.
"The international outlook is not much better for her," one industry source told Page Six. "The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can't back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can't sing live."
If she can't sing at all, she can't sing live...
The source added that Hilton was advised a year ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but "obviously she didn't listen."
"I'd love to, but I'm booked up..."
Hilton's rep, Elliot Mintz, said, "To me, [the album] sounds huge. For a newcomer, this is incredibly impressive."
"Yeah! Tell 'em, Mintzie!"
Meanwhile, Hilton's reputation as a slut dirty girl put one of her former sex partners on edge after they'd been to bed together. Elijah Blue Allman, the hunky son of Cher and Gregg Allman, boasted to Howard Stern the other day that he had a fling with Hilton before she was famous - but he got nervous right afterward that he might have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. Allman says he was so worried, he raced downstairs and grabbed a household cleaning product to pour over his private parts and "disinfect" them.
"Mom! Where's the Clorox?"
While Stern flipped over the tawdry tale, aired over his Sirius Satellite Radio raunchfest show, Hilton wasn't thrilled with the disclosure. "She's not happy about it," said a source, despite the fact Allman tried to lessen the low blow by noting she was a "sweet girl" nonetheless.
Posted by:Fred

#14  naahhhh Darth. There's a bimbo out there somewhere for you
Posted by: Frank G   2006-08-31 23:00  

#13  I agree John. Today's bimbos have nothing on the 40s and 50s ladies.

*sigh*

I waz born 30 years too late.
Posted by: DarthVader   2006-08-31 21:52  

#12  She's got great legs though

Debatable.


Posted by: john   2006-08-31 13:46  

#11  Elijah Blue Allman

Wasn't he exploring his "alternate" sexuality ?

Posted by: john   2006-08-31 13:39  

#10  Fred her other lips are on show online...
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2006-08-31 13:34  

#9  So, she's some kind of US jet-set celebrity, from what I gather here...
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-08-31 12:52  

#8  I think she has a pretty smile.
Posted by: Fred   2006-08-31 12:34  

#7  My dog liked the video. No accounting for taste.
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-08-31 11:13  

#6  No, that video with her sucked.
Posted by: DarthVader   2006-08-31 10:14  

#5  I thought she blowed in THAT video
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2006-08-31 08:34  

#4  I hear she did real good in a video however...
Posted by: CrazyFool   2006-08-31 08:14  

#3  We went to the movies last week (Cars) and they were playing "You'll Go Blind" "Stars Are Blind" on the theatre sound system before the previews started.

It was . . . undistinguished. It wasn't even into "so bad it's good" or "laugh-out-loud bad" territory. It just kinda laid there and failed to impress. (Sorta like Paris, I guess! Right, Chlorox Boy?)
Posted by: Mike   2006-08-31 07:22  

#2  She's got great legs though. Ok I admit it, I think Poaris hilton is a total fox.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2006-08-31 06:54  

#1  Hilton's CD Instant Tanker

I forsee a strong aftermarket in the beer coaster sector.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-08-31 02:07  

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