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Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia
Shamil officially titzup!
2006-07-10
Publication time: Today at 20:07 Djokhar time

The representative of Military Council of State Defense Council Majlisul Shura of CRI Abu Umar has reported to Kavkaz Center news agency that the vice-president of CRI, the Military Amir of Mujahideen of Caucasus, Abdallah Shamil Abu-Idris became a Shaheed (insha Allah).
"Shaheed" is Arabic for "dead meat"...
The Chechen commander died as a result of a accidental spontaneous explosion of a cargo vehicle with explosives on July 10, 2006, in Ekazhevo village, Ingushetia. Three other Mujahideen became Shaheeds (insha Allah) together with him.
"Mahmoud! Put out that see-gar! Y'want us to spontaneously [KABOOM!]?"
The representative of Military Coucil has not reported any other details. At the same time he denied all claims of Russian side about a "special operation" against Shamil Basayev as a result of which ostensibly, the Chechen commander die.
"Nope. Nope. Never happened. Din't need no 'special operation.' He dunnit hisself!"
"There is no any special operation took place. Shamil and other our brothers became Shaheeds (insha Allah) of Allah's own will (swt).
"Yup. Allen decided to call 'em all home! It wudn't even dynamite! It wuz... It wuz... It wuz a thunderbolt!"
The Supreme one has his own plan and decision.
"Hmmm... Himmler's looking lonely again. Maybe I'll send him Basayev to talk to..."
And about the special operation, Mujahideen will show how it should be carried out ... ", - the representative of Military Council of of State Defense Council Majlisul Shura of CRI stated.
"Yeah! They're really gonna get it this time!"
Let's remind that earlier occupation command has reported about an explosion in Ekazhevo and death of 4 Mujahideen. Only after 9 hours after the first news, kafirs have claimed of death of vice-president of CRI, the military Amir Shamil Abu-Idris. The representative of Ingush puppet militia has claimed that three of four Mujahideen have been unidentified and one of them is probably Shamil Basayev. The reason of explosion was a careless use of an explosive.
As it so often is...
Later on Russian side began to report all over again about 5 then 8, and then 12 ostensibly killed Mujahideen. Thus invaders have explained that as a result of huge explosion all other bodies "have been reduced to fragments and have literally disappeared".
"Yep. Looks a lot like strawberry jam over there. We took 'em down to the morgue in jars!"
Representatives of puppet Ministry of Internal Affairs specified that at night from July 9 to 10, in 2 kilometers from village Ekazhevo of Nazran district of Ingushetia, a powerful explosion was occurred. The militiamen, who had arrived at a place, found out a burned down lorry and four bodies.
Posted by:Fred

#20  more fun then em wack a moel
Posted by: muck4doo   2006-07-10 23:18  

#19  nice thing is you can use his beard to hang his skull from a hook as a urinal
Posted by: Frank G   2006-07-10 19:00  

#18  Though the Russian side of ops against the militant terrorists has not been quite stellar, it seems to me that attrition due to Russian attacks and due to pressure on financiers has brought down the level of boom boom tech help, just like with the Paleos. Good news.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2006-07-10 18:27  

#17  Lol, liberalhawk.

Sure as hell wasn't Putty or his FSB. Buncha really lousy liars.

Pure. Dumb. Luck.

It happens - and far more often than the Russians can find their dicks in the dark.
Posted by: Wheang Spavirong9833   2006-07-10 17:50  

#16  was Jack Bauer involved?
Posted by: liberalhawk   2006-07-10 17:33  

#15  Can recall the musical,
but it was by the
BoomTown Ratz.
Posted by: 6   2006-07-10 16:30  

#14  Him's lookin purdy neat
It's a shame that him won't keep,
But summer's getting on
and We're running outta ice.
Posted by: 6   2006-07-10 16:29  

#13  Heh, like I said in another thread, the russians were incredibly lucky that Shamil had incredibly incompetent technicians.

If "allah" really took him, the symbolism is necessarily significant: Died via a car bomb, the islamist terror weapon of choice in Iraq, and decapitated (the islamist method of execution of choice) by that same explosion.
Posted by: Ptah   2006-07-10 16:04  

#12  Seems to be a lot of unstable explosives used by the allenists with results like this quite often.

Am I bad person for wanting more, faster?
Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom   2006-07-10 16:02  

#11  accidental spontaneous explosion of a cargo vehicle with explosives. I wonder when the "rest of the story" will be heard or if there is a rest of the story. I wonder if this guy had a little help to get on his way to the virgins.
Posted by: JohnQC   2006-07-10 15:47  

#10  So the G-8 Summit dodges another bullet! Truck bomb went prematurely KABOOM!
Posted by: Lancasters Over Dresden   2006-07-10 15:46  

#9  Latest new on FOX, shows truck blown up full of explosive, was going to be used against the upcoming G8 Summit.
Posted by: Jesing Ebbease3087   2006-07-10 15:32  

#8  Burial in pig carcass to follow ?

Posted by: john   2006-07-10 15:19  

#7  Shamil officially titzup!

InshallaBURTON!
Posted by: RD   2006-07-10 14:49  

#6  Claims processors at Mutual of Ekazhevo could not be reached for comment.
Posted by: Seafarious   2006-07-10 14:41  

#5  It really sux to be you when you go titzup and you don't even get the brass brassiere.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2006-07-10 14:14  

#4  Green/Red wire reminder pamphlets and no smoking signs...Looks like a job for OSHA.
Posted by: Inspector Clueso   2006-07-10 14:13  

#3  "As coroner, I must aver / I thoroughly examined him / And he's not only merely dead / He's really, most sincerely dead!"
Posted by: Steve   2006-07-10 13:58  

#2  accidental spontaneous explosion of a cargo vehicle
Uh...OK. Happens all the time. In Paleostan.
Posted by: Spot   2006-07-10 13:48  

#1  I recommend Baseyev for both a fat lady AND a Dumfart, if what they say is remotely true.
Posted by: eLarson   2006-07-10 13:47  

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