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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Can tinfoil hats actually prevent the government from reading your thoughts?
2006-05-31
Conspiracy theorists, beware: That aluminum foil beanie—headwear believed, since at least the 1950s, to stop brain-control rays—may make it easier for The Man to read your mind, according to Massachusetts Institute of Technology grad students. Inspired by fringe beliefs that invasive radio signals can probe citizens’ thoughts and that wearing foil on your head may fend them off, an experiment by four Ph.D. candidates found that certain key frequencies—owned by the Feds, naturally—are actually enhanced by such “protection.”

The students first recorded a baseline transmission from a radio-frequency spectrum analyzer, a device that emits radio waves of various frequencies, to its receiver antenna, located on four test subjects’ bare noggins. Then they performed the same measurements— sweeping from 10 kilohertz to 3 gigahertz—while the subjects wore one of three double-layered foil helmets: the “classical” (foil hood wrapped close to the head), the “fez” (cylindrical, flat-topped hat) and the “centurion” (conical shape with a peak). The antenna, a stumpy plastic-coated stub, was fitted between the helmet and the subject’s cranium to determine how much of a signal was absorbed or deflected before reaching the brain.

What started strictly as “a desire to play with some expensive equipment” ended with surprising results, says lead study author Ali Rahimi, a recent graduate of MIT’s doctoral program in electrical engineering and computer science. Overall, the foil effectively weakened radio waves by up to 10 decibels over most of the frequency spectrum (there were no significant differences among helmet shapes). But at 1.2 and 2.6 GHz—which fall within the band reserved for government satellites, GPS systems and mobile phone corporations—passage through the foil amplified these waves by 20 to 30 decibels. Although Rahimi doesn’t know why the foil increases only those frequencies—antenna design is a “black art,” he says—the implications of the research were clear. “It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC,” the students sagely declared. “If there are radio waves involved in reading minds, aluminum hats aren’t an effective way to counteract them."
Posted by:tipper

#11  Faraday hats for everyone !
Posted by: Gene the Moron   2006-05-31 21:45  

#10  Now, about the Orbital Mind Control Lasers…
Posted by: Eric Jablow   2006-05-31 21:39  

#9  On related news, copper futures hit new highs this morning.
Posted by: wxjames   2006-05-31 11:30  

#8  Damn! Back to the drawing board.
Posted by: Halliburton Brain-control Division   2006-05-31 10:36  

#7  It is also essential to be standing on an ESD matt. Duh!
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-05-31 08:44  

#6  Idiots. Every techie worth his salt knows you need to use fine copper mesh soldered at the joints and grounded for proper EMP protection.
Posted by: Steve   2006-05-31 08:25  

#5  OK who leaked it this time? Now how is our secret conspirators going to control all the moonbats and make them say stupid things then go to rallys for dems? This is just not fair!
Posted by: 49 Pan   2006-05-31 07:51  

#4  I think this is http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
(don't know if that has already been posted here.)
Posted by: anonymous5089   2006-05-31 06:30  

#3  They definitely don't work. I tried wearing a lead-lined crash helmet, but the government simply zapped me from the front instead, through the visor.
Posted by: Al Gore   2006-05-31 02:14  

#2  SSSSSHHHHHH, Madonna's and siblings great daddy can read minds, etal. - see lyric "if you can read my mind". While Madonna's daddy can easily destroy Planet Earth at a whim, his ultimate duty under God is to observe, teach, guide, question and instruct, NOT DESTROY. NO WEALTH OR POWER ON EARTH IS OF INTEREST TO HIM BECUZ HE'S SEEN IT, HAD IT, DONE IT, CREATED IT ANDOR "DESTROYED" =RE-CREATED IT, ETAL. IT TIMES AND TIMES BEFORE IN MILLENIAS. On a separate note, what this tech describes is actually DREAM/VISION/REM CONTROL by third-party remote means.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2006-05-31 01:47  

#1  Dude! I so knew that!

~twirls the propeller on Tipper's carbon fiber beanie~
Posted by: DanNY   2006-05-31 01:21  

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