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| Bill Offered 40 Goats for Chelsea |
| 2005-07-26 |
| Former US president Bill Clinton has been offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter by a love-struck African government official. Mr Clinton was offered the deal on a recent trip to Kenya. He was offered the animals as a traditional African way of getting a father to give away his daughter's hand in marriage. The dowry is a very generous one by the country's own standards. Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote to Mr Clinton through Kenya's Foreign Minister. He said: "Had I succeeded in wooing Chelsea, I would have had a grand wedding. "I would have invited South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu to preside at the ceremony." The councillor gave the names of the former Kenyan president Daniel Arap-Moi and two of his college mates as character references. Mr Chepkurgor also said he was also impressed by Mr Clinton's wife, Hillary, for standing by Mr Clinton during the Monica Lewinksy scandal. He said Mrs Clinton acted like a "like an African woman". Bill suggested Hildabeast for 39.95 goats. |
| Posted by:Captain America |
| #22 Godwin is a cheap-skate. Anyone can see she's a 60 goat, 30 cow girl. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2005-07-26 22:42 |
| #21 OK - LET'S TALK REAL MONEY. In 1975 in Morocco a 140lb blonde Midwestern girl was worth 100 camels to a desert herder. At that time a camel was worth between 750 to 1000 dollars so that is: $100,000 per girl in 1975 dollars! Other hair colors and weights had their lower prices but blonde and 140lbs were prefered. NOW HOW DO I KNOW THIS? A modern dance professor I knew was trying to recruit some ladies to "model" at some "classy" resorts some of his Marseille "mafia" friends owned. I woofed on him to the girls he was trying to recruit (2 days before departure with no time to "hire" new models..). When all the young ladies in a room are 140lbs and you loudly mention to a friend what somebody that weight is worth in Morocco - in passing - then walk out... even the stupid think... |
| Posted by: 3dc 2005-07-26 19:42 |
| #20 I used to run tiechelseastubes.org. But couldn't get enough money for the 50 million dollar buyout she required. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-07-26 18:49 |
| #19 Really old one. Question: What do you get when you cross a sleazy lawyer with a sleazy politician? Answer: Chelsea |
| Posted by: SR-71 2005-07-26 18:31 |
| #18 lol , sorry BH |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-07-26 16:18 |
| #17 True, I really meant loose the Pig.. it would be... awe hell, never mind. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-07-26 15:44 |
| #16 Jowly good, Ship. Smoke to taste. |
| Posted by: Zpaz 2005-07-26 13:29 |
| #15 Loose the f**king and it's even funnier. Maker the audience think. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-07-26 12:44 |
| #14 The Cheney's, the Bush's and the Clinton's were all having breakfast one morning, when Dick leaned over to Lynne and said, "Sugar, will you please pass the sugar?" Bill thought, "Hmmm...". Then W. leaned over to Laura and said, "Honey, will you please pass the honey?". Now Bill, not wanting to be shown up by these two show-offs, leaned over to Hillary and said, "Hillary, please pass the bacon, you fucking pig." |
| Posted by: Zpaz 2005-07-26 12:39 |
| #13 I thought they arested those guys involved in the African Bank Spam Scam... |
| Posted by: BigEd 2005-07-26 11:38 |
| #12 Former US president Bill Clinton has been offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter by a love-struck African government official. Maybe donations could be collected to pay for an eye exam for this individual? |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2005-07-26 10:57 |
| #11 After a weekend trip home to Arkansas, Bill Clinton stepped from the helicopter and onto the White House lawn. He was carrying two Arkansas-bred hawgs, one under each arm. At the bottom of the steps, a young Marine snapped to attention, saluted sharply and said, 'Fine looking pigs, sir!' Clinton turned and glared at the boy. 'Son, don't you know I'm from Arkansas? These ain't pigs. They're hawgs.' The Marine shot back, 'Marine begs the COMMANDER IN CHIEF'S pardon, sir! Fine-looking hawgs, sir!' Clinton smiled with pride and the young man relaxed. The President went on, 'Thank you, son. You see this one here?' He lifted up the pig under his right arm. 'I got this one for Chelsea.' Then he nodded to the hawg on his left. 'And this one here, I got for Hillary.' At that the Marine snapped back to attention and said, 'Outstanding trade, sir!' |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2005-07-26 10:46 |
| #10 How many camels for the face transplant? |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-07-26 10:17 |
| #9 You don't want to know, mucky. |
| Posted by: too true 2005-07-26 10:12 |
| #8 Frank swoops in for the steal. ;) |
| Posted by: BH 2005-07-26 10:10 |
| #7 watn 5 chikens ana hamster get ya? Richard Gere? |
| Posted by: BH 2005-07-26 10:10 |
| #6 Richard Gere's daughter |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-07-26 10:08 |
| #5 watn 5 chikens ana hamster get ya? |
| Posted by: muck4doo 2005-07-26 09:46 |
| #4 Bill refused his offer? What about tolerance, Bill? What about respecting other cultures' values and beliefs? Poor Godwin. At least he can rest assured that Bill can feel the pain of his broken heart. |
| Posted by: Dar 2005-07-26 09:36 |
| #3 So, is Chelsea up for sale on e-Bay or what? |
| Posted by: Chuck Simmins 2005-07-26 09:35 |
| #2 I've always wondered just how stupid that contractor was, Sgt. Mom, to want to marry a woman who could kick his ass without breaking a sweat. I mean, Blondie's beautiful and all, but still.... Makes you wonder if he was dazzled by her blonde beauty, or just into submission in a big way. ;-p |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2005-07-26 09:11 |
| #1 When my daughter (the blond Marine) was in Kuwait in support of OIF in 2002, one of the local contractors offered her 40 camels for her hand in marriage. She thought he was joking, and bargained him up to 70 camels, and then realized (with horror and embarrassment) that he was entirely serious. One of her NCOs stepped in at that point, and took over dealing with that particular contractor afterwards, in order to save face. 70 camels was a fair and generous offer, though. |
| Posted by: Sgt. Mom 2005-07-26 08:57 |