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Europe
James Morrow: Gallic petulance too much to stomach
2005-07-06
On the latest faux-pas by Chirac

FRENCH was once the language of diplomacy; the hangover of this legacy is why passports still bear headings such as "Name/Nom" and places to fill in the holder's "Adresse du titulaire a'l'etranger" (that is, where you're staying overseas). But even though the world's diplomats no longer chatter to one another en francais, the French government still likes to pretend it is the top chien on the world stage. Which is why, given France's increasing irrelevance in global affairs, Jacques Chirac's petulant outburst last Sunday to Russia's Vladimir Putin and Germany's Gerhard Schroeder is both amusing and understandable.

For those who missed it amid all the Live8 hoopla, France's leader was overheard in a meeting in Kaliningrad telling his two fellow heads of state that "the only thing that [the British] have ever done for European agriculture is mad cow disease", adding, "You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine. It is the country with the worst food after Finland."

Leaving Finnish food aside for the moment (presumably Chirac hasn't had a good plate of kaalikaaryleet lately), the French president's comments are further proof that his country has once again missed the bateau. Britain has become something of a culinary superstar. London is home to 35 Michelin-starred restaurants, second only to Paris, and British chefs from Jamie Oliver to Gordon Ramsay are famous the world over. France, meanwhile, can boast that its McDonald's franchises are the best-performing in Europe in terms of income per restaurant, serving a million customers a day nationwide.

All of which suggests that the French president may have been suffering from what psychiatrists call "projection" when he made his critique of the British and their food: recognised since the time of Freud, projection is a psychological defence mechanism that occurs when a patient transfers his own -- often negative -- urges or impulses on to someone else.

Think about it: Chirac wanted to stop Tony Blair from joining the US's toppling of Saddam Hussein, but all that came out of his blustering was a captured dictator and an oil-for-food scandal that hasn't reflected all that well on his government.

Likewise, Chirac's great hope for the future -- along with his fellow food critic Schroeder -- was the ratification of the EU Constitution. Unfortunately for him the whole thing was spectacularly derailed by French voters, who delivered a resounding Non! at the ballot box -- a great example of people doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. (According to the polls, French voters were concerned that the final plunge into the EU would force them to become -- quelle horreur -- more capitalist.)

Of course, the whole impenetrable 852-page scam of a document was never going to get past the British voters, who still cling to romantic ideas such as accountable governments, national sovereignty, and individual-based civil society -- factors which, as James Bennett has pointed out in The Anglosphere Challenge, make England far more closely connected to Australia and the US than their counterparts across the channel. Not being able to blame Britain for the failure of Europe must have been a great disappointment to Chirac.

About the only thing on the horizon for French pride for Chirac is Paris's bid to host the 2012 Olympic Games - for which London is also bidding, and in with a chance at that. If that doesn't wind up going France's way, there won't be much left for Chirac to do, even in the playground of the European Union. Because on Friday, the rotating presidency of the EU transfers to - you guessed it - Britain.

James Morrow is editor of Investigate magazine.
Posted by:anonymous5089

#9  Hell has Russian TeeVee and Cigarette.
Heaven Russian parties and spring vegetables.
Posted by: Shiipman   2005-07-06 16:53  

#8  In Heaven you are greeted by the British, cooked for by the French, organized by the Germans and provided fun and games by the Italians.

In Hell you are greeted by the French, cooked for by the British, organized by the Italians, and provided fun and games by the Germans.
Posted by: Rufus Lee King   2005-07-06 13:51  

#7  When will France stop having such a hard time believing that the world detests them even more than they detest themselves?

Their foul-honking, fowl-beaked leader, Chirac, had a less than 28% approval polling domestically. And that was before he pissed away this desperately sought Olympic welfare check with his formula chauvanistic pomposity.

There is always the Bizarre Foodstuffs Olympics for the misfit French to vie for. But those damned Chinese will probably beat them out of that one, too. Better to deploy your Minister of Surrender next time.
Posted by: Rufus Lee King   2005-07-06 13:34  

#6  You're a complete loser, France. You don't even get a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat.
Posted by: BH   2005-07-06 11:08  

#5  Tony Blair should send him a batch of kidney pies merged into the Olympic ring pattern.
Posted by: Tom   2005-07-06 10:44  

#4  I wonder how the two Finnish members of the selection committee voted.... ;)

Poor Jacques keeps missing good opportunities to shut up.
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2005-07-06 10:31  

#3  No 2012 olympics to sooth our long-suffering pride. Nothing but woe and despair now.
Posted by: PepeLePeu   2005-07-06 10:04  

#2  Typical British understatement, Howard UK.

Let me Americanize that for you:

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2005-07-06 10:04  

#1  ...the only thing on the horizon for French pride for Chirac is Paris's bid to host the 2012 Olympic Games

Heh.
Posted by: Howard UK   2005-07-06 09:44  

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