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Afghanistan/South Asia
Queer jihad
2005-05-14
BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.

An Arbroath marine, James Fletcher, said: "They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda. One bloke who had painted toenails was offering to paint ours. They go about hand in hand, mincing around the village."

While the marines failed to find any al-Qaeda during the seven-day Operation Condor, they were propositioned by dozens of men in villages the troops were ordered to search.

"We were pretty shocked," Marine Fletcher said. "We discovered from the Afghan soldiers we had with us that a lot of men in this country have the same philosophy as ancient Greeks: 'a woman for babies, a man for pleasure'."

Originally, the marines had sent patrols into several villages in the mountains near the town of Khost, hoping to catch up with al-Qaeda suspects who last week fought a four-hour gun battle with soldiers of the Australian SAS. The hardened troops, their faces covered in camouflage cream and weight down with weapons, radios and ammunition, were confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair.

"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."

At one stage, troops were invited into a house and asked to dance. Citing the need to keep momentum in their search and destroy mission, the marines made their excuses and left. "They put some music on and ask us to dance. I told them where to go," said Cpl Richard. "Some of the guys turned tail and fled. It was hideous."

The Afghan hill tribes live in some of the most isolated communities in the country. "I think a lot of the problem is that they don't have the women around a lot," said another marine, Vaz Pickles. "We only saw about two women in the whole six days. It was all very disconcerting."
Posted by:Fred

#11  Quite believable report.

Old Pathan proverb:
“A woman for business, a boy for pleasure, a goat for choice”

The famous Pathan song "Zakhmi Dil" (Wounded Heart) begins

"There’s a boy across the river
with a bottom like a peach,
but, alas I cannot swim"

It was adopted as a British Army march during the days of the Raj.

For fans of the military bag pipe
http://www.whitethistle.net/musicfiles/music/files/zakhmidil.mid
Posted by: john   2005-05-14 21:40  

#10  Ingemisco tanquam reus,
Culpa rubet vultus meus;
Supplicanti parce, Angie.

I did not know. But it's still funny, heh? ;-)
Posted by: twobyfour   2005-05-14 20:47  

#9  ..hey! Ship you cut in line.
Posted by: Cloluth Snolurong2394   2005-05-14 20:31  

#8  The date on that article is from May, 2002, and was reported here in November of that year. I knew it sounded familiar. I've always figured the reporter was having his leg pulled. A google search on "Vaz Pickles" turned up only references to this article.
Posted by: Angie Schultz   2005-05-14 20:30  

#7  Chris Stephen In Bagram, "journalist" interviewed Brit marine James Fletcher, after the unit returned from an operation DEEEEP in the Afghan mountains.

good send up, James.
Posted by: Cloluth Snolurong2394   2005-05-14 20:28  

#6  Heheh Sounds like a RM sendup.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-05-14 20:20  

#5  Jeebus. I can hear AS: "but are they allowed to marry. See? The Taliban is more advance than you christian majority 'persons'. At least they are open with the military"
Posted by: Frank G   2005-05-14 20:14  

#4  Disconcertingly so, Raj, heh.
Posted by: .com   2005-05-14 20:07  

#3  Oh - Vaz Pickles, a most unfortunate name, eh?
Posted by: Raj   2005-05-14 20:06  

#2  LMAO!!!

The new AlQ(ueer) tactic: mince about and proposition the troops and they'll freak out and leave without doing proper searches.

Too much, heh.
Posted by: .com   2005-05-14 20:05  

#1  This should give Andrew Sullivan something else to write about...
Posted by: Raj   2005-05-14 20:05  

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