Extremely EFL:
 "I just could not stop looking at her," Andrews, 39, recalled, sitting in the late-day shade of a cafe umbrella he set up in the yard of his mobile home.
| "Hrowf! Hrowf! Wotta butt! An' jugs out to here!" |
"I just kept thinking: 'I'm going to jump get her. Someday, I'm going to get her and marry her.'" He also knew, even as a mere lad of 14, that this never would be just any romance, because the object of that rapturous gaze happened to be his cousin Eleanor. And not a distant cousin, located somewhere in the far branches of the family tree. Their mothers were sisters.
| Genetically, about the same as being half-siblings... |
They knew their attraction -- she had felt it, too -- was taboo, and they kept it more or less a secret. That is, until last month, when they decided it was time to marry.
| "Whut? Yer pregnant? Well, let's go down to the courthouse real quick, afore yer Paw finds out!" |
Turned away from the Blair County Courthouse because Pennsylvania law prohibits first-cousin marriages, Donald W. Andrews Sr. and Eleanor Amrhein, 37, crossed into Maryland to wed.
| What, West Virginia was booked? |
Before they could think about a honeymoon, the newlyweds became the butt of jokes on the late-night talk shows.
| Why should late-nite shows have all the fun? |
But their marriage also cast a light on conflicting state laws surrounding the practice, and on such groups as Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws Through Education (C.U.D.D.L.E.) and http://www.cousincouples.com/ , which cite new research to encourage acceptance of such unions.
| They forgot http://www.letsjumpmom.com. |
"In God's eyes, we're all brothers and sisters. You can't tell your heart who to fall in love with," Amrhein said.
| On the other hand, in God's eyes we're not supposed to conserve buck teeth, hemophilia, and various mental deficiencies. We leave that to the inhabitants of Arabia and the NWFP. |
Neither revealed their secret to anyone until about seven years ago. They began to date after her marriage ended in divorce and his longtime relationship broke up. Their families recoiled at the news. When the two began living together, her family disowned her for a time. She was no longer welcome at Sunday dinners. They refused to take her telephone calls. Friends dredged up Bible passages to scold them.
| "Thou shalt not marry Cletus" |
They settled down in their blue-and-white mobile home with three dogs, a cat, two guinea pigs named Beavis and Butt-Head, and an iguana that loves to eat kiwi.
| We don't make this shit up |
Andrews collects disability payments from the government.
Amrhein works at the courtesy desk at Wal-Mart. "I tell people I married her for the health benefits and the Wal-Mart discount card," Andrews said, only half-joking. She slapped his thigh. "Yeah," she said, eyes rolling.
They kid each other a lot and share many interests, such as camping and fishing and chewing tobacco. They agree to disagree on other things. He smokes Jacks 100's; she prefers Marlboros. He hunts. She loves animals. When she tunes in to shows that have what he calls "that sappy stuff" -- "Friends," say, or "Little House on the Prairie" -- he exits to head to another television. He gushes at the thought of walking into Red Lobster and picking out the plumpest one in the tank. "Eck," she said. And don't ask her about eating groundhog. "It smells like a pork chop frying. Tastes like chicken," he said, helpfully.
| Groundhog, the other white meat |
Six years ago, he proposed to her at the jewelry case in Wal-Mart after they spied a pair of wedding bands on sale. "I said, 'Are you prepared to go through the Hell we're going to go through?' " he said. Yes, she said, accepting the engagement. But because of a host of concerns, they locked their rings away until last month. After a Pennsylvania court clerk refused to grant a marriage license, the couple challenged the refusal in open court, as allowed by law, and lost. So on March 28 -- Amrhein already has to prompt her newlywed to remember the exact date
don't they all?
-- they crossed the state line. In a civil ceremony attended by his mother and a niece and nephew, the cousins held hands before a justice of the peace in Calvert County and exchanged vows.
| The happy couple are registered at True Value Hardware and Bob's Beer Barn. |
| This will be turned into a Lifetime movie starring Meg Ryan and Sean Penn. |
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