| When I want serious, well-thought-out advice, I always go to Britney first. Or at least to one of her breasts... |
 Pop superstar Britney Spears has offered some unusual advice to the beleaguered Michael Jackson — he should get drunk and fight someone in a bar.
| Yeah. That should take care of his financial problems. I'm not the only one who'd pay money to see that... |
Britney told US magazine Allure of her sympathy for the megastar singer, currently on trial for charges of child molestation. But the recently-married Britney believes all Jackson needs to help him sort out his life is a moustache and a beer She told the magazine, "If he did those things, I feel sorry for him. I feel like he probably feels alone, and he needs some help. He needs someone to be like, 'OK, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.' And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him. Either way, he needs to get in a fight."
| It would be amusing to watch somebody named Spike kick his butt, but I think Britney's missed the point. Rather than recommending he get in a fight, I'd have recommended he have a few, then get laid. He seems to have problems with the concepts, though, since he's already done both. What I mean, and possibly Britney does as well, is that he should get drunk with the guys and get laid with a girl. |
The bizarre comments, and subsequent criticism from the magazine have led Britney to hit back at the glossy publication.
| "So I'm not articulate! Piss of if you don't like it! I got lotsa money!" |
In an official posting on her website, the Toxic singer takes a swipe at Allure, and pledges to not speak about her private life any longer. "I feel the article focused too much on my personal life and various events from my past...In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art," she writes.
| "Either that, or through my music and videos. I'm not sure which..." |
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