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Afghanistan/South Asia
Nuggest from the Urdu Press
2005-02-19
Two warriors pledge war
Columnist Nazeer Naji wrote in Jang that a TV debate between ex-ISI chief General (Retd) Hameed Gul and Indian Major (Retd) Bharat Verma was commented upon in the Urdu press. Most of the commentators condemned India in the light of Verma's hawkishness. But the fact was that the two men who had no feeling for the welfare of the masses in South Asia were talking in military terms and parted throwing challenges of another war. Both presumed to speak on behalf of their nations, which was not true because the entire South Asia wanted peace and was not in the habit of talking in military terms. In Pakistan more and more leaders were talking in extreme terms, which was not a good thing.

Musharraf losing trust
Columnist Nazeer Naji wrote in Jang that General Musharraf came with a dilkash (attractive) agenda for the people of Pakistan saying the country would be the Quaid's Pakistan. After he was accepted by the people he also steered Pakistan out of grave trouble after 9/11 through very clever policy. But to implement his agenda the party he formed was from the very party that had stood to lose from his coming to power. The result was that today Musharraf was keen to call himself a devout Muslim rather than a follower of the Quaid-e-Azam and Ataturk. He talked of going inside the Kaaba, but trust had evaporated from his politics. With India the normalisation process had become a victim of lack of trust; America seemed less trusting of him now and he had shown lack of trust in the party he brought up by firing two PML prime ministers. The religious parties whom he brought to their present strength were now arrayed against him and large areas of Pakistan had become turbulent under his rule.

Quran insulted 17 times in Jhang
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that some criminal threw pages of the Holy Quran in the gutter of Muhalla Sultanwalah in Jhang. The citizens of the city collected it, cleaned it, and preserved it. There was anger in the city and the local leaders said that this was the 17th incident in the city where religious and jihadi parties are strongly represented.

Musharraf should go home!
Ex-army chief Aslam Beg was quoted by Nawa-e-Waqt as saying that the only solution to the country's problems was that Musharraf should be courageous enough to go home. He said action in Balochistan would have the same results as actions in the past. Behind Wana operation and Balochistan there was an international conspiracy. Jabal as-Saraj had become a spying outpost for the US, Israel and India. India had dared build Baglihar Dam because of Pakistan's weakness. Pakistan should stop being flexible and take tough action. If the World Bank could not decide Baglihar issue justly the mujahideen would blow it up.

Eleven things must be done
Writing in Jang, Dr Mubashir Hassan stated that the government must do 11 things. It should hold fair and free elections. It should allow supremacy of parliament by stopping interference from the establishment. Make the local governments efficient. Free the country from the loot of multinationals and refuse to obey the directions of the IMF and the World Bank. Start public sector projects to give employment to people. Fill up the gap between the rich and the poor. Industrial workers should be given freedom to strike under ILO rules and given guarantee of employment. Put an end to feudalism. Increase productivity of agrarian sector and its welfare. Ensure housing, health, education and employment to the masses; and an independent foreign policy.

Where are the intellectuals?
Columnist Irfan Siddiqi wrote in Nawa-e-Waqt that America had become naked in Iraq after it finally accepted that there were no weapons of mass destruction there. Where were the Pakistani intellectuals who gave us lessons of hikmat (wisdom) while rubbing their foreheads in science and technology? Today the pens of these intellectuals had gone dry and their tongues had been stiffened by glue.

'Ghaibi haath' and Ijazul Haq
Quoted in Khabrain, religion minister Ijazul Haq said that his father General Zia's death in a plane crash in Bahawalpur in 1988 was still a mystery. Many inquiries and commissions had been asked to investigate the incident but there was always a hidden hand (ghaibi haath) that came and stopped them from going forward.

Bhutto wanted Maulana Noorani punished
Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt, MM Hassan stated that when he was in the dreaded force called FSF he was called on the phone by prime minister Bhutto who said that Maulana Shah Ahmad Noorani had abused him, his wife and his daughter in a speech and therefore as an FSF officer he must teach him a lesson. When Hassan called on him to ask what action was required he flew into a rage and said that he didn't want him killed but wanted that a few bones in his body should be broken. Hassan pleaded that such an action would bring bad name to Bhutto, at which Bhutto lost his temper and said that he had formed the FSF at great expense and it should do what was required. Hassan in the end simply sent a message to Noorani to get him to speak moderately. The columnist drew the conclusion that if, like Bhutto, you separate religion from politics you only get despotism.

Inside Punjab schools
Columnist Asghar Nadeem Syed wrote in Jang that chief minister Punjab was keen to educate the masses in the province but his bureaucracy was exploiting the lady teachers in the countryside, at times seeking sexual satisfaction from them on the pain of a transfer the ladies could not afford. In some schools food is to be served to the children on orders from the chief minister. In such schools another practice had cropped up. Lady teachers began the day by preparing to cook for the children. No class was taken but elaborate preparations were made for the lunch. Somehow the mothers of the children also arrived in the schools and supervised the purchase of vegetables and the cooking of meat which was invariably below par. No one taught the children who were often busy climbing the nearby trees.

Why is the lover Hindu?
Sarerahe stated in Nawa-e-Waqt that a journalist who went to Chandigarh in Indian Punjab together with a delegation was taken aback by a film titled Veer Zara which was shown to Pakistanis in a cinema. In this film a man Veer is Hindu who falls in love with a Muslim girl Zara from Lahore. The journalist asked the hosts why did such films feature a Hindu lover and a Muslim beloved? He asked them to reverse the roles in the future.

Astrologers complain of quacks!
Sarerahe in Nawa-e-Waqt noted that many astrologers of Lahore had complained formally that the government should ban fake pirs and fakirs who told people their fortune because they were quacks and were giving the astrologers a bad name. Sarerahe said that astrologers seemed to be complaining against their own community because astrology and palmistry fell in the same category.

Bollywood actors as sacrificial animals
Sarerahe wrote in Nawa-e-Waqt that the Bakra Mandi (market for sacrificial animals for Eid) was featuring a new hard sell. Goats and cows meant for sacrifice were named after Bollywood actors and actresses. A goat was named Aishwarya Rai and sold at a high price while another one with a Lollywood name Saima was sold at a little less. The male goats were named Shahrukh Khan and Shan and so on. The column mentioned that already the sacrificed animals were supposed to enter Paradise as human being.

Fraud through printed 'bakra'
According to Khabrain, a group of thieves in Rawalpindi took to the shocking practice of imprinting the word Muhammad PBUH on the hide of sacrificial goats with a chemical and then showed it to innocent citizens for a fee. The gang earned thousands of rupees for three days before they were found out. The gang confessed that their chemical shop was not earning much so they thought of the bakra miracle.

Karachi city council against Aga Khan foundation
As reported in Nawa-e-Waqt, City Council Karachi resolved in a session that Aga Khan Foundation be stopped from censoring the textbooks in Sindh, Balochistan and Punjab. The following were the specific complaints. The new textbooks contained the message that Raja Dahir was a harmless man and that the two-nation doctrine was a source of hatred. Instead of Hazrat Ayesha there was now a simple story. Instead of Allama Iqbal there was now an account of a village woman. In place of Fatah Makka there was a Walk to Ziarat, in place of Baba Farid, there was a lesson titled City said Village said, instead of Islam ka Pehla Teer there was an essay on the Customs Officer, Instead of Hazrat Khadija there was morning walk, instead of Rehem Dili (merciful heart) there was an essay on Gwadar Port, and Instead of Syed Ahmad Shaheed there were sex education lessons (sifli).
Posted by:Fred

#5  Astrologers complain of quacks!

When an astrologer thinks you're a quack, you might want to rethink your career choice.
Posted by: tu3031   2005-02-19 10:24:34 AM  

#4  He also forgot to ask for a pony. Maybe he was too busy "rubbing his forehead in science and technology".
Posted by: Spot   2005-02-19 9:06:34 AM  

#3  Hmmmm..... it's getting towards the end of the month and the ghosts are Christmas Presents are showing up in the mailbox. Perhaps I'll whip up bakra miracle. I'll use a gator for dramatic effect.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-02-19 8:00:54 AM  

#2  But he left out the part about the Puppies, the Bunnies, and the Duckies With Little Sailor Hats.
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-02-19 2:10:22 AM  

#1  I like the 11 things to be done....and voila! U-friggin-Topia.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2005-02-19 1:37:28 AM  

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