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-Short Attention Span Theater-
cops opress by taken family heirloom pitchfork. ogres happy
2005-02-06
WILKES-BARRE — Junius Todd lumbered to the side door on the dark porch of his Grove Street home Thursday night. He said all he wants is to get his pitchfork back.
"That wuz my great-granddaddy's pitchfork! He fit with it at the Battle of Cowpens!"
The tool was taken during an incident on Dec. 31, 2003, involving Todd and a relative, Odetta Todd, of Wilkes-Barre, after a police chase. His attorney filed a petition in Luzerne County Court Wednesday to get it back.
"'At's right, yer honor! It's the family pitchfork!"
City police said Odetta Todd failed to stop a vehicle she was driving at two red lights. When officers tried to stop her, she fled, then left her car at the intersection of Grove and High streets and ran onto a porch.
"Hit the lights and siren, Bob! That woman's crazy!"
Junius Todd, who was 84 at the time, came out of the house and threatened two officers with the pitchfork, police said.
"Look out, Bob! He's got a pitchfork!"
"He's 84 years old and he's lumbering!"
One of the officers snatched the weapon
"Gimme that, Grampaw!"
"That's Great Grampaw to you, sonny!"
but he continued to resist until he was subdued, police said.
"Mace him, Bob!"
"I can't Mace a guy that's 84 years old!"
"Okay, then. Thump him with your nightstick!"
The jury found Odetta Todd guilty of resisting arrest, harassment, disorderly conduct and numerous traffic offenses. The jury failed to render a verdict on a charge of fleeing police.
"Ditched her car at an intersection and hopped out and ran up on Great Grampaw's porch and he attacked the police with a pitchfork... Yer honor, we just can't decide if that constitutes fleeing the police, so we're gonna let her off!"
A jury found Junius Todd not guilty of obstructing the administration of law, simple assault, and harassment, but he never got his pitchfork back.
"Not guilty!"
"Thanks. Can I have my pitchfork back?"
"No!"
Attorney John Donovan filed a petition to get the family heirloom returned. Junius Todd said police still have a knife he kept in his pocket. "They'd better still have it," he said of the pitchfork. "Or else I'll be really mad."
"I got this garden hoe, see, and it's a family heirloom to boot ..."
Todd said his son brought the pitchfork to the house to do some work. He wouldn't say what kind of work.
"He brought a coupla bales of straw and a load of bullshit and left it by the vegetable garden. I ain't saying what kind o' vegetables I'm growing, neither!"
Donovan's petition claims that because Junius Todd was found not guilty the pitchfork serves no purpose in any investigation. A hearing to determine whether he'll receive the tool is slated for March 14.
Posted by:muck4doo

#2  Good thing Junius forgot about the maxim gun his granpappy brought back from Ypres...
Posted by: Pappy   2005-02-06 4:03:57 PM  

#1  See, there really are rednecks everywhere.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-02-06 9:27:28 AM  

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