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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| D.A. Confronts 'Jury Pool From Hell' |
| 2005-01-19 |
| Sounds worse then O.J.'s. MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Defense attorney Leslie Ballin called it the "jury pool from hell." The group of prospective jurors was summoned to listen to a case of Tennessee trailer park violence. Right after jury selection began last week, one man got up and left, announcing, "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite." You can't beat Tennessee trailer park violence trials. But this would've been a jury of their peers. When the prosecutor asked if anyone had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just would not come out from under the bed. C'mon. He didn't shoot him, he almost shot him. He should've been seated. Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. "I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth." That's a telltale sign, Billy Bob. Another prospect volunteered he probably should not be on the jury: "In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you're probably guilty." He was not chosen. Mr. Ballin must get paid in abandoned refrigerators or pit bull puppies or something. The case involved a woman accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. Ballin's client was found not guilty. A big win for Leslie Ballin, Esq. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #4 I pass, next! |
| Posted by: Captain America 2005-01-19 1:45:25 PM |
| #3 |
| Posted by: .com 2005-01-19 1:21:10 PM |
| #2 Ah, a story from home! The KKK leader who accidently shot a new recruit in the 'punkin was not far from here either. I just sit back at the Deacon Blues Pork Palace and Potables Parlour and munch the popcorn. We opened a brand new keg of 'Blues Stout yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed the local news. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2005-01-19 1:21:03 PM |
| #1 tu3031 - this reminds me of this one "helpful hints to picking up hookers" thing I read years back.... 1) If she looks like she's had a bath in the past 24 hours and all her teeth....she's an undercover cop 2) If she has really beautiful long hair.....she's a pre-op transsexual with a wig 3) If she looks filthy, missing some teeth and is incoherent....that's a real one, go for it! |
| Posted by: Desert Blondie 2005-01-19 1:17:40 PM |