DAVISON, MICH. - Controversial filmmaker Michael Moore has one more chance to be elected to the Hall of Fame at his alma mater, Davison High School. He's a first ballot in if they got a Hall of Assholes.
So far, his nomination has been rejected all four times that it has come up for consideration. This, despite directing the highest-grossing documentary in film history, last year's Fahrenheit 9/11, as well as the Oscar-winning Bowling For Columbine. When a nomination is submitted on his behalf this year, it will be Moore's final opportunity to earn a place alongside other famous Davison alumni, like Michael Thorp (a class of '73 grad who used to host the local Easter Seals telethon) and Sally Bird (the class of '54 grad who oversaw the Davison choir for 40 years).
This must burn Mikey's ass bigtime...
But if Don Hammond has his way, Moore will again be turned down. "Would you want him as a role model? Would you want your son or daughter to be like him?" Hammond — a member of the Hall of Fame selection committee who has voted against including Moore — asked in an interview with the Associated Press. "I haven't talked to anybody yet who's for him. The word to describe Michael Moore is 'embarrassing.' He embarrasses everybody."
You aren't mezmerized by his greatness? You fascist Bushitlerite! Ashkkkroft must've gotten to you!
The committee meets on Feb. 11 to choose the year's inductees.
Ryan Eashoo, another Davison alumnus, is determined to secure a place for the outspoken documentarian. "We've been blacklisted," Eashoo said. "I'm a huge Michael Moore fan. He's a great producer, great filmmaker, always sticking up for minorities. He's kind of an underdog."
The blacklist! McCarthyism!!!Suppression of dissent!!!
Since there isn't a limit on how many nominations can be submitted in support of any former Davison student, Eashoo has been collecting signatures to bolster Moore's bid. He has collected about 300 nominations so far, and has even sent faxes to nearby Canadian cities looking for Moore supporters. "There's more interest in other countries, frankly," he said, adding that he thinks Moore is "the second-most-popular person from Michigan, behind Henry Ford."
They want him, they can have him.
As for Hammond, he has bad memories of when Moore served on the Davison Board of Education. Moore was 18 at the time, and Davison says he remembers the future Academy Award winner taking off his shoes and socks at a board meeting and picking at his toes.
Mmmmmmmmmmm... toe jam.
He also apparently walked out of a board meeting, telling the other members "I don't want to sit around with you bums."
Bring my limo around!
"Davison is a small town," Hammond went on. "The people here don't like people making fun of them. Michael Moore once said he likes to go back to Davison because he's the thinnest person in town. We're not all that fat."
Nobody's that fat.