And all bears of all varieties joined in singing as Juan was unceremoniusly returned to his enclosure :
We shall overcome
We shall overcome
We shall overcome some day
Oh deep in my heart
I do believe
We shall overcome some day
| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Berlin bear's break-out bid fails |
| 2004-08-31 |
| The Colditz spirit lives on. (Sorry, TGA!) A bold amphibious escape bid by a bear at Berlin zoo has been foiled in a dramatic shoot-out. The bear was armed? No? I'd guess it was more of a shoot than a shoot-out then... Juan the Andean spectacled bear first paddled across a moat using a log for a raft, then scaled a wall. Finally he appeared to commandeer a bicycle, before zookeepers with brooms cornered him, and a colleague picked him off with a tranquiliser gun. "For you, Herr BÀr, ze fun is over." "Just think what could have happened," said a mother who saw the bear escape and head for the children's carousel. "It went straight for the playground", said Liane Hertrampf to the Berliner Kurier newspaper. Going straight for the broom store would've been scarier to me. Parents grabbed their children and fled as they realised what was happening. 300lb bears play where they want to, just like they sleep where they want to. It's an ursine faux pas to get in their way, even if you're only five years old. But the zoo's deputy director Heiner Kloes was not so concerned. "Spectacled bears eat both vegetables and meat but children tend not to be on their menu," he said. "I'd have been a lot more worried if one of our polar bears had escaped," he added. "Der pengvinz und kinder - zat is, after all, zeir natural fodder." He did say, however, that he was "alarmed at how some fathers were too busy filming the bear to check where their children were". "My kid's getting a proper childhood - dirt, bruises, bear chases. None of this smothering shit..." After being stopped with darts from a tranquiliser gun, 110kg (294lb) Juan was carried back to his enclosure. "With solitary confinement for a month and no red cross parcels. Pieces of what appeared to be a home-made glider were destroyed in front of the other bears." |
| Posted by:Bulldog |
| #11 Damn, where's Muck? |
| Posted by: Ptah 2004-08-31 9:19:19 PM |
| #10
|
| Posted by: Oge_Retla_2004 2004-08-31 11:19:27 AM |
| #9 We hereby condemn the vile harassment of our brother Juan. He only sought releif from the bars and moats of confinement, and, in the spirit of Nemo the fish wanted only to return to his home and live a life of freedom. -- International Brotherhood of Ursines |
| Posted by: BigEd 2004-08-31 11:14:28 AM |
#8 Yup, it's the polar bears you gotta watch out for... |
| Posted by: .com 2004-08-31 7:32:04 AM |
| #7 Paddington's delinquent coked-up brother out on a spree? |
| Posted by: Howard UK 2004-08-31 7:21:42 AM |
| #6 This is a bear from the Andes not East Germany LOL. Now I have to go to bed before I commit more spelling errors and other mischef. |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2004-08-31 7:16:42 AM |
| #5 Pure Colditz - classic distraction manoeuvre. Can anyone find the other five bears who went through the tunnel/ flew out in a glider? |
| Posted by: Howard UK 2004-08-31 7:08:47 AM |
| #4 :: off to look at picture ::: awww...that bear does need something to do! He's a cutie pie. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2004-08-31 7:05:44 AM |
| #3 Well he just kind of went over and checked it out. It was parked in a bike rack. The picture is "cute." Poor Juan is just bored. Imagne living your whole life in that dinky enclosure. You would be trying to get out all the time too. If you have ever seen a real bear out in the real wild you would know that small pen just isnt enough room for one. Oh yea bear meat tastes just fine and bear grease is about the best water proofing you can get. No I have to hide from mucky. |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2004-08-31 7:00:33 AM |
| #2 Former circus bear, perhaps? Putting his prior professional experience to good use. The PoWs at Stalag Luft did this all the time. |
| Posted by: Bulldog 2004-08-31 6:59:56 AM |
| #1 The bear commandeered a bicycle? |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2004-08-31 6:50:50 AM |