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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Breaking News Alert |
| 2004-07-27 |
| At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." |
| Posted by:Deacon Blues |
| #10 I understand plain geometry, take my wife for instance. |
| Posted by: J Forbes Kerry 2004-07-27 8:30:03 PM |
| #9 SH - Lol! It's "safe", no? It does make inspiring wallpaper... Regards the apple, well, good thing it wasn't a juicy peach, eh? Lol! |
| Posted by: .com 2004-07-27 7:44:42 PM |
| #8 For sure things that go bump in the night down here on "la frontera": I used to live near Sonoita - about 60 miles southeast of Tucson - all the "things" happen to speak Spanish and are trekking northward... |
| Posted by: borgboy 2004-07-27 7:36:20 PM |
| #7 .com, I clicked on your link while eating an apple as someone knocked and entered my office door. The result would have made a fine sketch for a 3 Stooges short. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2004-07-27 7:31:44 PM |
| #6 This is why I came to love engineering, and um, yeah, mathematics... |
| Posted by: .com 2004-07-27 7:07:30 PM |
| #5 Tucson has more witches, fortune tellers, mediums and well-dones than the rest of the US combined. You left out the UFO fanatics. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2004-07-27 2:21:28 PM |
| #4 Phoenix is on the north end of the Sonora Desert, a place known to drive men mad, with a 4000 year old reputation for things that go bump in the night. There are places south of here with names like "Hell's Trail" (appropriate), and "The Tortured Desert" (even more appropriate.) Tucson has more witches, fortune tellers, mediums and well-dones than the rest of the US combined. Here there be thingys. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2004-07-27 2:15:11 PM |
| #3 Super Hose, Ouch! |
| Posted by: Stephen 2004-07-27 2:14:50 PM |
| #2 Since I hold a tenuous BS in Mathematics, I offer: Q: Did you year about the constipated mathematician? A: He worked it out with a pencil. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2004-07-27 1:50:44 PM |
| #1 Speaking of philanderers, anybody watch Clinton's speech last night? |
| Posted by: Dar 2004-07-27 1:44:08 PM |
