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Israel-Palestine
Arafat denies he is facing death crisis
2004-07-25
Yasser Arafat has insisted there is no power struggle among the Palestinian leadership, in the wake of another armed protest against him.
"No never! Just another massive show of support for my progressive Palestinian policies that have brought us forward into another era of maximum ::cough:: foreign aid ::cough:: prosperity."
He said there was "no problem" between him and Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei, who wants more say over security services.
"He's a wonderful chap. Used ta send his mother flowers and all that."
Mr Arafat spoke hours after masked guerrillas briefly took over a Palestinian Authority building in Gaza.
"Just some of my poker pals dropping by for another friendly little card game."
It was the latest protest demanding reforms in the security services, which opponents say are rife with corruption.
"Look, my nephew is one of the least corrupt individuals I know!"

Power struggle
The BBC's Barbara Plett says Gaza has been shaken by clashes between rival sections of the security forces staffed by Mr Arafat's Fatah movement. The protests are widely seen as a power struggle ahead of Israel's promised pullout from Gaza next year, our correspondent says, but she adds that Mr Arafat has yet to lose a faction fight in more than 40 years at the top.
There's always a first time.
"No, no, there is no crisis," Mr Arafat said after meeting Arab diplomats at his offices in the West Bank town of Ramallah.
"What, me worry?"
The protests began earlier this month when Mr Arafat nominated a close relative, Moussa Arafat, as head of the Palestinian security services. Opponents demanded Mr Arafat reform the security services and eradicate cronyism.
"R E F O R M, what is this strange word you speak?"
The unrest prompted Prime Minister Qurei to submit his resignation. But this was rejected by Mr Arafat and Mr Qurei agreed to stay on for the time being.
"It took one of my last spare suitcases full of cash, but I managed to persuade him!"
Mr Arafat also withdrew the controversial nomination but the militants say this is still not enough, as Moussa Arafat continues to head the general security branch in the Gaza Strip.
Nepotism's all right, so long as you keep it in the family.

Offices stormed
Militants from al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade - linked to Fatah - torched a police station in Zwaida, near Gaza City on Saturday.
"It was only a campfire sing-along, honest."
In Khan Yunis, dozens of masked men stormed the office of the regional governor before dawn, demanding that Mr Arafat fire Moussa Arafat.
"Disgruntled ex-employees, that's all!"
The group left peacefully at about noon (0900 GMT) after receiving assurances that comrades who had been dismissed from jobs with the security forces by Moussa Arafat would be reinstated.
"Everyone will be paid off given their jobs back!"
Meanwhile the Israeli army said it destroyed or damaged a number of abandoned buildings in the Rafah refugee camp in Gaza as part of a hunt to find tunnels used for smuggling weapons to Palestinian militant groups.
"Those were our mushroom growing chambers and wine storage caverns. The losses were enormous. My five course dinners will never be the same!"
Palestinians say six houses were demolished, leaving 50,000 people homeless.
All in a days work for the IDF.
Posted by:Zenster

#5  Tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat
Whooooosh--Boom!
Crack! *rumbling of falling bricks*

Visitor to Isreal: "What the hell was that?!"
Israeli hosts: "Oh, pay them no mind. That's just the neighbors on the other side of the wall having a domestic row again."
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-07-25 11:10:47 PM  

#4  Death Ray on...Death Ray off...Death Ray on... Death Ray off...
Posted by: tu3031   2004-07-25 11:00:34 PM  

#3  Arafat's dying, sooner than later. The Palis know it and the Israelis know it, (reason behind that 'no burial in Jerusalem' reporet a week back?) When he finally kicks off, not a moment too soon and decades too late, all hell will break loose.

On the other side of the wall.
Posted by: joe   2004-07-25 7:59:08 PM  

#2  Arafat plays Baghdad Bob.
Posted by: Capt America   2004-07-25 1:42:29 AM  

#1  And the internal fighting will get more vile and meaner as the money stash dries up. The dogs will fight over the bones.

More popcorn, anyone? How about a nice amber ale and some pub grub? The Snake and Pygmie pie is scrumpscious! Check out the wide screen and full surround sound. Hey! There's the Arafish drooling! Damn! Kinda spoils my appetite....
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-07-25 1:04:41 AM  

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