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| Dems Announce Speakers For Boston Convention |
| 2004-07-13 |
| And what a lineup it could have been... The right is upset that the GOP presidential convention is excluding conservative speakers, and now radical Democrats as well as centrists will be in a dither that Uh, if you eliminate volatile, moderates and conservatives, who’s left to do the speaking, the rats at the North Station rail tracks? The Mad Dog swilling bums on Causeway Street? Mayor ’Mumbles’ Menino? The party today announced its lineup of prime-time speakers. True, John Kerry couldn’t shun his mentor Teddy Kennedy, but he did manage to brush off his previous mentor Michael Dukakis. Dukakis’ appearance would have brough on the inevitable comparisons, that’s a no-brainer. "Here’s just a sample of people who weren’t rolled out today and, if the snub continues, are sure to make major waves come convention week: Hillary (’Fucking Jew bastard’) Clinton, Al (Tawana Brawley) Sharpton, Howard (’Bush Knew! YEEEAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!’) Dean, Dennis (Dept. Of Peace) Kucinich, Dick (’miserable faiure’) Gephardt, Tom (’I’m deeeeeply saddened) Daschele, Nancy (’clear the air’) Pelosi, Wesley (Bush was a deserter) Clark, Carol Mosley (mostly convicted) Braun, Joe Lieberman, Bob Graham and, of course, Mike (Captain Abrams) Dukakis," the Boston Herald’s David Guarino noted today. A murderer’s row of misfits and the LLL standard bearers. Not surprisingly, the snubbed also include Sen. Patty "Osama Mama" Murray, Rep. "Baghdad" Jim McDermott, Rep. Marcy Kaptur, ex-Klansman Sen. Robert Byrd, Cynthia McKinney, New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, etc., etc. In terms of the 1986 Boston Celtics, this would be the ’Green Team’, almost as good as the starting five of Bird, McHale, Parrish, Ainge & Johnson. Those who will speak, or rant, in prime time include Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Max Cleland, New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, Baltimore Mayor Martin O’Malley and Reps. Stephanie Tubbs, Tammy Baldwin and Bob Menendez, in addition to Kerry, John Edwards and their wives. Never heard of the last five there, any opinions on them? I’m betting they’re either centrists or the stuffed shirt equivalent of JFKerry. Guarino observed: "This morning at the National Press Club in Washington, the Kerry campaign and DNC leaders, unveiled a convention agenda they say will highlight an America that’s ’stronger at home, respected in the world.’ How, exactly, they plan to do that with Jimmy Carter and Al Gore, I don’t know." Some jokes just write themselves... |
| Posted by:Raj |
| #2 I heard that noted deep thinker Ron "Sugar Plum Fairy" Reagan, Jr., was also planning to speak on stem cell research at the convention. Kerry promised him that among his first acts would be to sign an executive order reversing Bush's stance. |
| Posted by: eLarson 2004-07-13 5:50:36 PM |
| #1 WHAT? No Whoopie Goldberg!! I'm shocked! SHOCKED I tell you! Why Kerry himself said she was a repsentative of [his] american Values! |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2004-07-13 5:44:03 PM |