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Fifth Column
Andy Rooney Is a Lying Jerk
2004-06-01
The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News Correspondent Andy Rooney.
EFL and relevance. My first ever RB post!
It’s hard to know how much time to spend remembering. Memories are more often sad than happy. The word "memorial" itself has a sad sound to it. Those to whom we are close die, and we want to remember them. We die, and we want to be remembered, but no amount of longing can bring anyone back, so there is a limit to the value of grief.
"Memories are more often sad than happy"? Perhaps it's only a certain mindset that treasures the sad over the happy. My most treasured memories are my happy ones — my Dad teaching me to ride a bike; fishing at the dam with my friend when I was eight years old; walking home on a cool night with an exceptionally pretty girl, slightly inebriated, singing "Buffalo Gals" for no particular reason. I can tell stories of red mud and misery and the smell of bodies rotting in the hot sun, but those aren't the memories I keep closest. But I guess Andy does.
We think of this war now in Iraq as terrible because every day we get the news that three or seven more Americans have been killed.
This is his first big lie. If three Americans were killed each day, the death toll would be well over 1000; if it were seven each day, the toll would be nearly 3000 (that’s about how many were killed on 9/11).
He's doing the imagery thing. Facts aren't important when you're doing imagery. Not being of the same bent as Andy, I'm proud of the fact that we've thrown really, really bad guys out of control of two countries at a cost to date of less than a thousand men. Things will probably get worse in the future, but we're pretty economical of lives.
In the Civil War, 365,000 Northern soldiers were killed, and 133,000 soldiers from the South died. In World War I, 116,000 American soldiers were killed. In World War II, 407,000 died, 54,000 died in Korea, 58,000 in Vietnam. More than a million Americans have died in our wars, each one much loved by someone.
That's why war's hell, Andy. Those were wars where men's lives were sacrificed for a purpose. Does the fact that a half million died in the Civil War make it not worth fighting? Did the outcome justify the sacrifice? How about WWII? Did the expenditure of 407,000 Americans keep even more Americans — and Brits and Frenchies and Russers and Danes and Norwegians and Poles — from suffering and dying? War is society's way of defending itself and preserving itself.
There are men in every country on earth - mostly men - who spend full time devising new ways for us to kill each other. In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education.
I didn’t bother to look this up, but this has got to be another lie. We may spend 7 times as much on DEFENSE as on education, but not much of our defense spending is on "war."
I think he's probably talking about the government office concerned with education, part of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare. Without defending the nation our kiddies could be educated in other subjects than modern dance and Womyns' Studies. They could be studying the Koran. Or they could be studying Marx more assiduously than they are. Or they could be writing commentaries on Mein Kampf, at least the white, blond ones could...
There’s something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
So Rooney thinks that World War II was idiotic? I guess that doesn’t surprise me. BTW, this last comment ignited a fierce family "debate" during which I feared that might very slightly pro-war wife would slap my anti-war mother.
Posted by:Tibor

#18  I offer an unnecessary amendment, much like the update for Earth's entry in the Hitchhiker's Guide (harmless => mostly harmless), to wit:
asexual budding

I did admit it was not really necessary, heh... ;->
Posted by: .com   2004-06-02 12:22:06 AM  

#17  Thanks for that ghastly mental image, .com.

With regard to the reproduction of organisms such as Rooney and Moore, I have only one word: budding.
Posted by: Quana   2004-06-02 12:09:09 AM  

#16  Methinks he's Michael Moore's Dad.
Posted by: .com   2004-06-01 11:34:53 PM  

#15  Great job, Tibor. And well thought out and written comments, as usual, Fred. Memories, memories, mammaries, where do I begin? Oh, yes, I was kinda amused when I saw the bit that Andy Rooney put out on trying to find the Mrs. Smith of Mrs. Smith's Pies. Then I quit watching him altogether.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-06-01 11:31:54 PM  

#14  Good article and good job, Tibor!
Posted by: .com   2004-06-01 5:40:36 PM  

#13  It's kinda sad, the way they can find a single TV news reporter with that certain gravitas, who is not actually qualified for membership in AARP. It's like a TV production workshop in a retirement home.
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2004-06-01 5:32:35 PM  

#12  BigEd, I know. He should stick to complaining about misleading packaging and whether his eyebrows should be trimmed.
Posted by: Tibor   2004-06-01 5:20:38 PM  

#11  Tibor, when Rooney was just a cumudgeon, he could be funny, but, recently he seems to be off the medications. . .
Posted by: BigEd   2004-06-01 4:57:07 PM  

#10  Rooney's comment on education applies to the Federal government only. Education receives more funding at the local, state and federal levels combined than does the DoD. This is just an argument to increase the power of the Federal govewrnment in education.
Posted by: Mr. Davis   2004-06-01 12:50:20 PM  

#9  "walking home on a cool night with an exceptionally pretty girl, slightly inebriated, singing "Buffalo Gals" for no particular reason."

That led Jimmy Stewart to want to jump off a bridge. And if I see that mush one more time, I'll want to jump off a bridge. And the same for Andy Rooney.
Posted by: Mr. Davis   2004-06-01 12:40:25 PM  

#8  Ed, Biff, et al., thanks for doing my homework for me. It was late and I wasn't up to focusing on the research.

On the point about memories, I have many happy and many sad memories. When I reflect, I choose to focus mostly on the happy memories. It's no surprise to me that a twisted, bitter old fruit such as Rooney would have mainly sad memories. "Didja ever notice that I'm an obnoxious @sshole? I mean, seriously, am I a whiny little bitch or what?"

I think Rooney's on-air transformation from garden variety curmudgeon to outright lefty is of a piece with those of Rather, Cronkite, Koppel, etc., who try to "keep it real" as they approach their dotage and irrelevancy by becoming more outspoken and obvious (but not honest) in their biases.
Posted by: Tibor   2004-06-01 12:09:25 PM  

#7  Don't his doctors perscribe Paxil for dementia?
Posted by: BigEd   2004-06-01 12:03:01 PM  

#6  U.S. defense expenditures are forecast to be 3.5% of GDP for FY2004. defense spending link
U.S. public expenditure on education as a percentage of GDP 1998-2000 was 4.8% (this excludes private expenditures) education spending link
Posted by: Biff Wellington   2004-06-01 11:38:17 AM  

#5  He's using the numbers from the estimated 2005 federal budget. Of course he knows that education is funded primarily at the local and state level, but admitting that would interfere with his playing at being Lord Haw-Haw.
Posted by: Anonymous5074   2004-06-01 10:54:34 AM  

#4  Does anybody watch this idiot anymore? Or 60 minutes?

Speaking for myself, no and no.
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama   2004-06-01 10:36:43 AM  

#3  http://www.policyalmanac.org/education/archive/doe_education_spending.shtml
Nearly $373 billion of revenues were raised to fund public education for grades prekindergarten through 12 in school year 1999–2000.
...
Total expenditures made by school districts came to nearly $382 billion (K-12, ed) in the 1999–2000 school year. About $324 billion of total expenditures were current expenditures for public elementary and secondary education. An additional $35 billion went for facilities acquisition and construction, $8 billion for replacement equipment, and another $9 billion for interest payments on debt. The remaining amount ($5 billion) was spent on other programs, such as community services and adult education, which are not part of public elementary and secondary education.

University funding in 2000 was $190 billion.
http://chronicle.com/free/almanac/2000/facts/nation.htm#money

Add to that preschool, and adult education.

The Milliary budget for 1999-2000 was $270 billion. Add another $30 billion for intelligence agencies.

Rooney is exercising his First Amendent right to espouse the Big Lie. It's much easier to say a lie than to disprove it.
Posted by: ed   2004-06-01 10:23:10 AM  

#2  Could CBS maybe get somebody on that show who's under 85 years old? I expect one of them to actually keel over on the air someday.
Posted by: tu3031   2004-06-01 9:47:38 AM  

#1  Does anybody watch this idiot anymore? Or 60 minutes?

Still to tell such bold-faced lies....
Posted by: CrazyFool   2004-06-01 9:18:56 AM  

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