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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Helpful Phrases for the American Tourist |
| 2004-04-20 |
| I’m sure the author of this meant it snarkily. But I think it’s not. Instead, it’s funny because it’s true. I plan to use many of these should I ever visit Europe again. It’s better in the States. C’est mieux aux Etats-Unis. Es mejor en los Estados Unidos. In den Staaten ist es besser. How much is that in real money? C’est combien en monnaie réelle ? ¿Cuánto es en moneda estable? Wieviel ist das in richtigem Geld? If you go to the USA, you’ll find that a dime is a lot of money. Si vous allez aux Etats-Unis, vous trouverez que dix cents c’est beaucoup de fric. Si usted va a los Estados Unidos, se dará cuenta de que diez centavos son mucho dinero. Wenn du in die USA fÀhrst, wirst du rausfinden, dass zehn cent viel Geld sind. Your country has such lovely dirt. Votre pays a une saleté vraiment charmante. ¡La suciedad de su paÃÂs es tan agradable! Euer Land hat so reizenden Schmutz. Yessir, you folks certainly have made a mess of this country. Oui Monsieur, grâce àvous, c’est vraiment le bordel dans ce pays. SÃÂ, señor,ustedes ciertamente han cagado a este paÃÂs. Ja, mein Herr, ihr habt wirklich eine MÃŒllhalde aus diesem Land gemacht. More at the link. |
| Posted by:growler |
| #24 Yo! Muck4doo, mywife is Philippine. You say that to her she will knock your teeth out!! That's disgusting!! |
| Posted by: Long Hair Republican 2004-04-21 12:03:13 AM |
| #23 "Why don't you people speak f*ckin' English?!!!" My variation on this one and personal favorite: "You do speak English, don't you??" Mind you, it sometimes backfires when it turns out they do speak English. It happened at least once, that I can remember. |
| Posted by: Rafael 2004-04-20 6:50:35 PM |
| #22 you have to say it in English first HE...try again |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-04-20 5:35:26 PM |
| #21 how you say bong hear |
| Posted by: HalfEmpty 2004-04-20 5:30:08 PM |
| #20 See, there, guys. Bill Clinton has a use after all---he created a situation by which JFM could explain gâterie in a very delicate manner. Thanks, JFM! I still think "absorb the whistle" is a lot funnier. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2004-04-20 4:29:50 PM |
| #19 And there's my personal favorite: Is it a controlled substance here in your country? Man, I hate to see those translating websites like in #17....It's making me obsolete |
| Posted by: Kentucky Beef 2004-04-20 4:03:39 PM |
| #18 This goes in the Classics! |
| Posted by: Korora 2004-04-20 3:59:40 PM |
| #17 Jack Deth : spell out the f word in this link for help - Translate |
| Posted by: Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 3:24:18 PM |
| #16 Angie Gaterie comes from gaté (spoiled). In French gaté has both an unfavourable meaning (a spoiled brat, a spoiled apple) and another one when someone is very kind to you (example: a woman is offered frequently flowers by her lover/husband will tell: "Tu me gates" ie "You are spoiling me"). "Gaterie" (you usually "une petite gaterie", "a small thing who spoils you") is something who is very liked by the receiver but quite exceptional. However I haven't heard it used for gifts in years, I think its main use would be for situations like a frustrated president married to a beautiful but prudish blonde and asking an intern for something the blonde ever refused. No relation to actual facts of course. :-) |
| Posted by: JFM 2004-04-20 3:11:20 PM |
| #15 even better: Where is the toilet? No... no... Where is it?!? Point at your groin while saying it. And increase the volume each time you ask |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-04-20 2:37:34 PM |
| #14 What time is it? No... no... What TIME is it?!? Point at your wrist while saying it. And increase the volume each time you ask. |
| Posted by: eLarson 2004-04-20 2:26:24 PM |
| #13 Gee, my favorite's always been: "Why don't you people speak f*ckin' English?!!!"... Maybe Anonymous can give me some help here. |
| Posted by: Jack Deth 2004-04-20 1:56:55 PM |
| #12 Yes, Sgt. Mom, you are right. Value Added Tax calculations in Europe are so messy. |
| Posted by: Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 12:58:44 PM |
| #11 My old favorite is "How much is that in real money?"--- guaranteed to piss off everybody. |
| Posted by: Sgt. Mom 2004-04-20 12:56:08 PM |
| #10 The one that always wins friends for you is "I was here back in (year) when this was a nice country." |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2004-04-20 12:42:40 PM |
| #9 The suggested phrases for "I admire you above all for your purity of spirit and your appreciation of the arts." are also winners. But what's gâterie, JFM? Babelfish was silent on this question. I was going to ask for assistance on the Spanish as well, but it suddenly dawned on me what "chupa" meant. Babelfish translates this phrase as, "If you want to absorb the whistle to me, I am not going to protest." Well, why would you? |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2004-04-20 12:32:13 PM |
| #8 In honor of the recently released night-vision video from centcom: Don't Look now, but there is an Apache helicopter behind you. Pas le Regard maintenant, mais il y a un hélicoptère Apache derrière vous. No Mire ahora, pero hay un helicóptero Apache detrás de usted. Schauen Sie jetzt, nicht An aber es gibt einen Apache Hubschrauber hinter Ihnen. |
| Posted by: Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 12:08:37 PM |
| #7 Heehee -- the german translation of "I understand your language perfectly" is "I speak German like Italian football coaches". |
| Posted by: Aris Katsaris 2004-04-20 12:02:04 PM |
| #6 Fixing another lot of translations. "Drop your weapon and put your hands up" (French) "Laissez tomber votre arme et levez les mains" (Spanish) "Deje su arma y levante las manos" (Zapatero's Spanish): Por favor no dispare y podr&´ joder a mi hija. Please don't shoot and you will fuck my daughter. (Real Spanish) Bang, bang, bang Could I have some clean water? ¿Puedo tener agua limpia? |
| Posted by: JFM 2004-04-20 11:46:18 AM |
| #5 Do you want to MAKE MONEY FAST? Voulez-vous GAGNER BEAUCOUP D'ARGENT TRÈS VITE ? ¿Quiere usted HACER DINERO RAPIDAMENTE? Willst Du SCHNELL GELD MACHEN? I think I've received all these in spam, dammit |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-04-20 11:19:47 AM |
| #4 Some translmations are wrong. "How much is that in real money?" C'est combien en vrai argent. ¿Cuánto es en moneda de verdad? "Your country has such lovely dirt" ¡Su paÃÂs tiene una suciedad de lo más agradable! |
| Posted by: JFM 2004-04-20 11:16:44 AM |
| #3 Make sure my seat isn't next to any Frenchmen. J'exige de ne pas être assis àcôté d'un français. No me siente al lado de ningún argentino, por favor. Passen sie auf, dass ich nicht neben irgendwelchen Östereichern sitze. Could I have some clean water? Veuillez m'apporter de l'eau vraiment propre. ¿PodrÃÂa darme un poco de su agua realmente potable? Könnte ich etwas sauberes Wasser haben? I don't know if this is a troll or if you're just stupid. De deux choses l'une : ou tu fais de la provocation, ou tu es vraiment con. ¿Es ésta una provocación gratuita, o simplemente eres bestia? Ich weiß nicht, ob das eine Provokation sein soll oder ob Du einfach nur dumm bist. LMAO! |
| Posted by: Chris W. 2004-04-20 11:14:59 AM |
| #2 Drop the weapon and put your hands up. Laissez tomber l'arme et mettez vos mains vers le haut. Caiga la arma y ponga sus manos para arriba. Lassen Sie die Waffe fallen und setzen Sie Ihre Hände oben. |
| Posted by: Steve 2004-04-20 11:11:26 AM |
| #1 if go in philipines alway greet ladies by saying pek pek mobaho. that always get them smiling. |
| Posted by: muck4doo 2004-04-20 11:07:10 AM |