(2004-04-14) -- National Public Radio (NPR) today announced it would acquire all of the assets of the new, but financially-troubled, liberal radio network known as "Air America."

Assets include former comedians Al Franken and Janeane Garafalo, as well as several small bottles of spring water and a full pallet of Mr. Franken’s book, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right."

NPR’s development department will immediately begin on-air fundraising to support Air America operations.

"Contributors who give at least $100 will receive an autographed copy of Mr. Franken’s book," said an unnamed NPR executive. "Donors at the $200 level will receive the book, without the autograph. And listeners who give $500 or more will receive a small bottle of spring water."

Air America was knocked off the air in Los Angeles and Chicago today due to its alleged failure to pay $1 million to the owner of the two stations.

"On behalf of the American people, NPR will assume all of Air America’s debt," said the NPR source. "The national audience for this kind of programming isn’t big enough to sustain two networks. We own the niche...at least on radio."