I have always believed chewing bones made my teeth white. Now a human agrees!
| Submit your comments on this article |
| Central Asia |
| world’s craziest dictator? |
| 2004-04-14 |
| He has banned beards and listening to car radios, and instituted a national holiday in honour of a melon. Now the world’s craziest dictator has identified a new and pressing danger to his people: gold teeth. It was atone of the interminable events in his honour that the President of Turkmenistan, Saparmurat Niyazov, turned to the young student from an agricultural university reading an address praising her President and told her to get her gold teeth removed and replaced with white ones. "Here’s the health minister, himself a dentist," he told the unfortunate woman. "He will give you white teeth." The great dictator did not stop there. He had some remarkable advice for the people of his former Soviet republic on how to avoid losing their teeth. "I watched young dogs when I was young," he said. "They were given bones to gnaw. Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did not gnaw on bones. This is my advice." Gold teeth are popular in the desert country where, despite the health minister’s credentials, dentistry standards are poor and many lose their teeth young. But they are expected to disappear in coming weeks: tips from Mr Niyazov are regarded as law. This sort of eccentricity is becoming the norm under Mr Niyazov, who prefers to be known as Turkmenbashi, "Leader of the Turkmens". In many ways he is the classic dictator. Turkmenistan is littered with gold statues of him, including a giant revolving one in the capital, Ashgabat. He has appointed himself "president for life", and his rule is absolute. But in Mr Niyazov’s case this has meant his country of five million isforced to live under some of the weirdest laws of our times. Two months ago he used another television appearance to ban beards and long hair for men. Opera and ballet are not allowed, because Mr Niyazov decided they were unnecessary. He has changed street names in Ashgabat to numbers, and forced his ministers to take part in a 36km "health walk"... |
| Posted by:Lux |
| #11 He could never replace Ted Kennedy. Doesn't drink nearly enough. |
| Posted by: ed 2004-05-11 9:04:54 AM |
| #10 The Wacky Misadventures of Dictator Saparmurat Niyazov! Coming soon to UPN! |
| Posted by: Unmutual 2004-04-14 12:55:41 PM |
| #9 I'd say that we might want to put this guy on our list of people to send to an early retirement, but there's something I find oddly endearing and amusing about his laws . . . we need to get this guy into the Senate; he'd be better than half the jokes we have in there now. Maybe he could take Ted Kennedy's seat. |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-04-14 11:16:09 AM |
| #8 I have always believed chewing bones made my teeth white. Now a human agrees! |
| Posted by: A Kaynine Phydeaux 2004-04-14 11:15:17 AM |
| #7 the revolving statue is designed so it always points at the sun At least in Turkmenistan they know where the sun don't shine. |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2004-04-14 11:06:02 AM |
| #6 For some reason this page brings up three apochalyptic christian google ads. I tell you man its a sign! I'm not sure of what, but its definitely a sign. |
| Posted by: Phil B 2004-04-14 9:23:43 AM |
| #5 Its one hell of a walk (and swim) from the Pankisi Gorge to Turkmenistan. |
| Posted by: Phil B 2004-04-14 9:19:37 AM |
| #4 at least he didn't just rip her teeth out on the spot, to get the gold, he seems kinda nice in comparison to some others. |
| Posted by: B 2004-04-14 9:08:08 AM |
| #3 Some of the laws don't seem so terribly weird. For example, given the region in which Turkmens live, the banning of beards is not such a bad idea. It could actually be interpreted as a clever form of profiling, to easily identify infiltrators from the Pankisi Gorge. |
| Posted by: mjh 2004-04-14 9:06:27 AM |
| #2 the revolving statue is designed so it always points at the sun I believe it turns so the sun always shines on the "beloved leaders" face, as befits a living god. |
| Posted by: Steve 2004-04-14 8:37:18 AM |
| #1 the revolving statue is designed so it always points at the sun (not sure whether he legislated against nigthtime yet). But, hey, if you get yourself a golden statue, you might as well do something with it, it's only logical. |
| Posted by: Igs 2004-04-14 4:10:52 AM |