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Britain
Centuries later - Angry druids hunt down vandals
2004-04-07
EFL without comment
The pagan community is furious that vandals daubed more than 70 of the Rollright Stones on the Oxfordshire/Warwickshire border with yellow gloss paint. Estimates for cleaning up the Neolithic circle, are now put at between £30,000 and £100,000. The Pagan Federation is to offer £1,000 to help police find the vandals. Karin Attwood, spokeswoman for the federation, said that the pagan community was doing everything in its powers to find those responsible. Mrs Attwood, who is also a member of the trust overseeing the ancient site, told BBC News Online: "I know that the whole of the pagan community is reeling from this one. It’s comparable to someone doing something like this to Canterbury Cathedral or the Wailing Wall. It is regarded as a very important place for pagans."

Mrs Atwood said the attack, which was discovered on Thursday, 1 April, had been the talk of pagan websites. "If the power of magic and the power of prayer works the people who have done this should start to feel very uncomfortable," she said. The circle has been used for wedding and baby-naming ceremonies and other celebrations. The circle, which could date back to as early as 2500 BC, boasts important examples of lichen said to date to about 1100. Conservation experts from English Heritage, who helped restore stones at Avebury, were brought in to assess the damage. Site manager Dohn Prout told BBC News Online that it could take up to 25 weeks for the restoration to be carried out. He said there was the possibility that the price of admission to the site might have to be increased to raise funds for the work. He said: "It will be a serious amount of money. Who’s going to pay for it, I don’t have a clue."
I have a guess and it rhymes with back-sprayers
Posted by:Super Hose

#21  Estimates for cleaning up the Neolithic circle, are now put at between £30,000 and £100,000. Doesn't that sounds kinda steep for stripping paint off of rocks? Is the UNESCO going to do the work?
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-04-07 10:37:58 PM  

#20  A favorite song from Spinal Tap keeps playing over and over in my mind.
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-04-07 10:35:26 PM  

#19  I always like having a few pagans in the platoon, let them miracle up shit w/chicken bones from the chow hall. Can't be too choosey I always say, plus I always liked to keep all the bases covered just in case.
Posted by: Jarhead   2004-04-07 10:06:10 PM  

#18  Paganism is becoming more family oriented: Alcohol ban a first for fire festival.

Heavy drinking at a fire festival, sounds like a recipe for a Screaming Class "A" Fire - a shipboard term.
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-04-07 8:28:25 PM  

#17  Steve:

I'd start my investigation with ex-sergeant majors, they tend to have a fixation with painting rocks.

That's frickin' hilarious! They better ask nice too, or the SgtMaj might hand them a can of Brasso and point them toward the CG's building!
Posted by: BH   2004-04-07 5:51:39 PM  

#16  And if the Muslims take over what happens to the Pagans? yup, you guessed it.
Posted by: Cheddarhead   2004-04-07 5:25:44 PM  

#15  leave the stones alone man.
Posted by: Howard UK   2004-04-07 3:24:10 PM  

#14  I've got it figured out now. It were purdy obvious all along.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-04-07 3:09:45 PM  

#13  that picture isa not me but at least your not use this rong picture. this picture look more like me. also you need substitute chicken for tofu. what im not understand is why you bother gathering materials if your going to do prayer instead.
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-04-07 3:01:57 PM  

#12  I don't do Fatwa's, and really I just tried the spell. Let me review is with you and maybe you can tell me where I'm going wrong:

The spell required a picture of you, the blood of a black cock, and an offering of wine made from grapes picked during a full moon. Of course I had to substitute for the items that weren't readily available. So I used some KFC extra crispy instead of rooster blood, a bottle of MD 20/20 from the Qwiki Mart (bonus - a wino was standing outside with his ham pressed up against the window, so I figure the full moon thing is on), and this was the best I could come up with for a picture of you Muck4Doo. Do you think making the KFC extra crispy was a bad move?

Anyhoo, here's my attempt at a prayer:

LORD in the name of thy most holy servant St. Attila, the bludgeoner of idotarians, I do most humbly beseech THEE to encourage the greater intestine of THY lowest creation known as Muck4doo, to, in THY grace and mercy, jump straight through his neck and, in the goodness of time, throttle that brain which YOU have given him in evidence of YOUR infinite capacity for mirth and, by THY grace, punishing his naughtiness in THY sight.

Amen.
Posted by: Robert Modean   2004-04-07 2:26:57 PM  

#11  Be nice now, BH ... I stopped saying things like that after the guy who had sex in St. Patrick's Cathedral (NYC) died of a heart attack at age 38 :P

*comes out as a Deist*
Posted by: Edward Yee   2004-04-07 2:12:18 PM  

#10  mr. modean did your use prayer or spell or fatwa?
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-04-07 1:28:41 PM  

#9  Honestly Muck4doo, if spells were so effective and every prayer were answered, then why hasn't your large intestine leapt straight up through your neck and throttled your brain by now?
Posted by: Robert Modean   2004-04-07 1:05:11 PM  

#8  im not understaning whats funy about this. pagan is an old and peaceful religion and shuld have respect like other. i thought we care about freedom of religion. it is hipocrisy to get mad at taliban blowing up hindu statues of gods but not something holy to others. remeber a prayer and spell can have as much power as a fatwa you guys always wory about.
Posted by: muck4doo   2004-04-07 11:44:04 AM  

#7  I'd start my investigation with ex-sergeant majors, they tend to have a fixation with painting rocks.
Posted by: Steve   2004-04-07 10:59:13 AM  

#6  "If the power of magic and the power of prayer works the people who have done this should start to feel very uncomfortable"

They don't, and you are a joke. That's why they painted yer rocks.
Posted by: BH   2004-04-07 10:40:43 AM  

#5  "So you see, Inspector, all you have to do now is arrest all the toads in the neighborhood..."
Posted by: Fred   2004-04-07 10:10:55 AM  

#4  "If the power of magic and the power of prayer works the people who have done this should start to feel very uncomfortable," she said.

I imagine they feel just fine, then.
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2004-04-07 9:01:30 AM  

#3  Quite rightly so.
Posted by: Howard UK   2004-04-07 8:48:44 AM  

#2  It was probably Muslims. The stones probably remind them of pigs or something and cause them to get their panties in a bunch. Next, they'll be demanding to have the stones removed because they're so offensive, and of course the Brit government will happily oblige.
Posted by: Infidel Bob   2004-04-07 8:41:25 AM  

#1  boasts important examples of lichen said to date to about 1100 In that case we need to get the UN involved, in order to start a worldwide campaign to save the Lichens!
Posted by: Phil B   2004-04-07 2:49:58 AM  

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