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Africa: Subsaharan
In Ghana Protesters give up on throwing rocks - Threaten suicide bombings
2004-03-27
Unedited - this article snarked itself. My comments would have ruined it’s natural beauty of the morons involved. I leave the comment/edit option to the professionals.
There are glaring indications that Ghana may soon experience her first suicide bomb attack, if a faceless group that issued the threat continues to outwit the police. Leaders of the group are reportedly considering the suicide-bombing option, following the failure of their stone-throwing campaign to force the Kufuor-mass-transit buses off the roads. Painstaking investigations conducted by The Heritage have revealed that a group numbering about 27 are bent on destroying the mass transit buses to give an undue advantage to their benefactors and patrons who are members of a transport organization.

So far, over seven buses have been destroyed by these unidentified ’rebels’. The activities of the group have become so alarming that some commuters have stopped using the buses, since they do not know when and where they would be attacked. Formed about two months ago with their metro buses as their main target, they operate along Mallam-Kasoa road, most particularly around Amanfrom, Tuba and GBC area. In the course of the investigations, The Heritage unearthed the phone number of the leader of the group who granted us an interview but would not give his name. He threatened that "if persuasion failed force must be applied." Asked to explain what that statement means, he simply said: "We shall be thinking of suicide bombing."

On why they were attacking innocent passengers instead of the metro transit authorities, the supposed leader, who sounded very confident, said the introduction of the Metro Transport System had led to the ’collapse of our master’s business’ and that the only way they could have their ’chop money’ was to destroy the buses. Meanwhile on Thursday, March 11, in the course of investigations, this reporter came under attack in one of the metro buses. This was after he had visited the KASOA branch of the GPRTU, which many accused of being behind the attacks. On reaching Amanfrom, the Mallam-Kasoa highway with one of the metro buses, a woman sitting beside this reporter advised him to close the glass window since anything could happen. True to her words at about 5pm, the stone-throwing started from all corners, whereupon the lady remarked: "I told you so; these days it’s only the brave who patronize these Kufuor buses; some people just want to sabotage the good efforts of the governments; God help Ghana," the hapless lady prayed.

Members of the group reportedly communicate through mobile phones to pinpoint the location of metro buses to one another, especially those lying in ambush, as to when the buses would reach their hideout.

When The Heritage contacted the Operations Manager of the MMT, he confirmed the attacks on their buses, disclosing that when the first attack occurred on February 5, 2004 the Chairman of the IMC, Mr. Osafo Mensah, informed the Ministry of Transport and the Kasoa Police who have since then been conducting their investigations. When Kasoa GPRTU was contacted they denied their involvement in the act but, confirmed hearing of the stoning of the MMT buses. Meanwhile, some users of the buses have expressed fear over the activities of the group but said ’there is no way we can stop boarding the buses since it has reduced the long queues of the past.
Ummm... You're right. No commentary could do this justice. I wonder if when they explode they're gonna get $72 in chop money?
Posted by:Super Hose

#10  Are Kofi's son's Oil-For-Food earnings considered "chop" money? Is "chop" money taxed like other income or is there a special rate?
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-03-27 11:30:46 PM  

#9  "BUSES? We don' need no steenking buses!"
Posted by: mojo   2004-03-27 10:13:35 PM  

#8  Minions are hourly. Henchmen are salary.
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-03-27 8:07:32 PM  

#7  I believe henchmen need to be paid ($)?.
Available rates at VillianSupply.com
Posted by: Frank G   2004-03-27 5:57:18 PM  

#6  Fred,
Could you please clarify the difference between a minion and a henchman?

Thanks,
Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2004-03-27 5:55:18 PM  

#5  LOL SH. Do you ever lapse into RantTalk in front of your family? LOL I've done it once or twice and there was just a stunned silence.... except once when my #2 step-son screeched with laughter. I've hopes for him.

Posted by: Shipman   2004-03-27 5:26:24 PM  

#4  Didn't Bill Gate's book indicate that, usually, most businessmen try Molotov cocktails and caltrops before deploying minions as slpodeedopes? Maybe that was Donnald Trump's book. I forget.

This strategy will just provide an impetus for organized labor to annex Ghana's minions. They will convince the minions that they can attain for better chop money and post-boom health-care under a collective bargaining format.

I see this as very bad for business.
Posted by: Super Hose   2004-03-27 4:10:36 PM  

#3  Evil minions have a tough life, don't they?
Posted by: Fred   2004-03-27 3:07:14 PM  

#2  Ã¢Â€Â™collapse of our master’s business’
Hmmmm.... Sounds like they are inspired by Jason Blair.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-03-27 2:51:56 PM  

#1  ...a group numbering about 27 are bent on destroying the mass transit buses to give an undue advantage to their benefactors and patrons who are members of a transport organization.

Woah. Talk about having a purpose in life! Hope you don't hurt any buses (or occupants), but good luck with the suicide part of the deal though...
Posted by: Hyper   2004-03-27 1:45:56 AM  

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