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| Fifth Column | |
| The Jane Fonda Martyrs Brigades | |
| 2003-12-05 | |
| Ladies and Gentlemen, the Queen of the Fifth Column, "Hanoi Jane" speaks, and speaks, and speaks. Just a taste: It’s possible that the extreme, neo-conservative version of Patriarchy which makes up our current Executive branch will over-play its hand and cause the house of cards to collapse. We know that this new "preventive war" doctrine will put us on a permanent war footing. We know there can’t be guns and butter, right? We learned that with Vietnam. We know that a Pandora’s box has been opened in the Middle East and that the administration is not prepared for the complexities that are emerging. We know that friends are becoming foes and angry young Muslims with no connection to Al Qaeda are becoming terrorists in greater numbers. We know that with the new tax plan the rich will be better off and the rest will be poorer. We know what happens when poor young men and women can only get jobs by joining the military and what happens when they come home and discover that the day after Congress passed the "Support Our Troops" Resolution, $25 billion was cut from the VA budget. We know that already, families of servicemen have to go on welfare and are angry about it. And we know how much Jane cares about our troops, even going to the front and posing for pictures with them...oh, wait, those were North Vietnamese troops, sorry. That’s why V-Day, The White House Project and their many allies are partnering to hold a national women’s convention somewhere in the heartland, next June of 2004. Its purpose will be to inspire and mobilize women and vagina-friendly men around the 2004 elections and to build a new movement that will coalesce our energies and forces around a politic of caring. I enjoy being friendly to vaginas, am I invited? The convention will put forward a fresh, clear, and concise platform of issues, and build the spirit, energy and power base to hold the candidates accountable for them. There will be a diversity of women from across the country who will participate in the mobilization. There will be a special focus on involving young women. There will be a variety of performers and artists acknowledging that culture plays a powerful role in political action. Don’t forget the puppets! There will be a concurrent Internet mobilization. Women’s organizations will be asked to sign on and send representatives to the convention. There will be a caravan, a rolling tour across the country, of diverse women leaders, celebrities and activists who will work with local organizers to build momentum, sign people up, register them to vote, get them organized and leave behind a tool kit for further mobilization through the election and beyond. More buses. This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a flow of soft, hot, empathic, breathing, authentic, vagina-friendly, relational lava that will encircle patriarchy and smother it. I need to go take a shower. We will be the flood and we’ll be Noah’s arc. "V" for Vagina, for vote, for victory. "V" for Vacuous: 1: emptied of or lacking content. 2: marked by lack of ideas or intelligence: STUPID, INANE. 3: devoid of serious occupation: IDLE
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| Posted by:Steve |
| #31 Vagina Fever! Catch it!!...and tell them Jane sent you! |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-12-5 11:58:03 PM |
| #30 We must realize that this puts on a whole new meaning for V-J Day. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-12-5 8:08:32 PM |
| #29 Hours after first seeing this item, I'm still shaking my head in wonder at the sheer brainlessness of this "vagina-friendly, relational lava" idea of hers; she sounds like Andrea Dworkin in the throes of a PCP overdose. |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2003-12-5 7:20:14 PM |
| #28 You know... I think Pork and Beans are vastly under rated... but it's gotta be done right. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-5 7:14:57 PM |
| #27 SHE'S SERIOUS! Stephen are you crazy? No Way, it's an inner Hollywood joke. If I thought she was serious I'd need to check the 360 day rations. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-5 7:13:50 PM |
| #26 The funniest thing about this,SHE'S SERIOUS! |
| Posted by: Stephen 2003-12-5 6:50:30 PM |
| #25 Sign me up for one of those T-Shirts!! I give the rant a 6.4. Its too obvious that Jane still feels pretty bad about not being born with a di**. But the 'V for Vagina' is worth at least 3 points! As for Hanoi Jane. Can we please ship this bitch to North Korea or her good buddies in Vietnam or something? What the fu*k is she doing here? |
| Posted by: Anonymous 2003-12-5 6:21:29 PM |
| #24 Yeah! A t-shirt that says, "I'm a vagina-friendly Rantburger!" |
| Posted by: BH 2003-12-5 6:03:15 PM |
| #23 This raises the bar- a 10 is clearly not enough. And what about a T-shirt? |
| Posted by: Grunter 2003-12-5 5:59:58 PM |
| #22 Fred, this post and comments is a keeper for the best of Rantburg. Former CNN watcher obviously was thinking about Palestinian gun sex. |
| Posted by: Steve White 2003-12-5 5:09:24 PM |
| #21 Required reading for all anti-patriarchy vagina nuts: "Why Men Rule," by Steven Goldberg. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0812692373/qid=1070656536/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-0667471-7011052?v=glance&s=books |
| Posted by: therien 2003-12-5 3:41:57 PM |
| #20 Some people would say that Jane Fonda is a traitor to the United States. I would say that she is a complice in war crimes and crimes againts humankind I would like that wh..e being indicted for war crimes against the Vietnamese and Cmabodian people. By contributing to sap US morale, by contributing tp persuade the North Vietnamese leadership that US will to fight was waning at one moment they were on the verge of throwingf the twoel she contributed to the bruatl murder of milions of Vienamese and Cambodians. Jane Fonda is a war criminal and deserves to be treated like one. |
| Posted by: JFM 2003-12-5 3:23:24 PM |
| #19 Sounds like Jane ain't been laid in a while.... |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2003-12-5 2:54:52 PM |
| #18 You know, in the coming War of the Sexes, the battle-cry "V for Vagina" may actually work. Think about it: The warring sides are lined up, ready to do battle, barrel-chasted he-men on one side, chicks and vagina-friendly men on the other. On an unspoken cue, war is engaged! He-men begin punching the living crap out of the whispy metrosexuals, who can only mope and be sensitive. It looks like an easy victory. But wait! Suddenly the he-men hear the cry "V for Vagina!" "Huh huh!" says one he-man, conditioned by years of enslavement under patriarchal domination. "She said vagina!" The entire column of he-men can no longer fight - they are too bsy peeing their pants unable to control themselves because they can't stop laughing. There is one he-man who tries to rally the troops. "I'll win 'em back with a bad joke," he thinks. "Hey!" he cries. "Let's make MINCE-meat outta these guys!" His forced pun stops the laughter cold, but hearty guffaws are replaced by soul-wrenching groans - the hellish sound previously only heard at Carrot Top recitals. The war ends quickly. The women have won. |
| Posted by: FormerLiberal 2003-12-5 2:07:14 PM |
| #17 ...vagina-friendly men... Dammit, I was eating crackers when I read that. Do not get crackers in your nose, for they have sharp points. Unlike, say, anything Fonda has written. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2003-12-5 1:53:18 PM |
| #16 If this article doesn't hold the #1 spot on the blogdex for about a phreakin' year, you'll know that sucker's as rigged as an Arab "election." Former -- I emailed the URL to about 40 people - and enjoyed retyping my opening question above as the Subject Line. Wonder how many will have some sort of spam detection software that'll flag it? Their loss. Heh, heh. Way funny werld. :-) |
| Posted by: .com 2003-12-5 1:30:09 PM |
| #15 Heaven's to betsy, I honestly thought this was a joke. 'V for Vagina'? My favorite: 'The convention will put forward a fresh, clear, and concise platform of issues' Political screeds should never be written when watching commercials for douches. V for Vagina! V for Vagina! V for Vagina! Sorry - I just thought it would be fun to type vagina. |
| Posted by: FormerLiberal 2003-12-5 1:10:32 PM |
| #14 Once again: the Moronic Convergence at work. |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2003-12-5 1:00:44 PM |
| #13 One man's vagina is another man's c*nt... |
| Posted by: Raj 2003-12-5 12:52:36 PM |
| #12 I make it a point to NEVER read anything Hanoi Jane writes, says, or to see any of her movies. Why encourage a lunatic??? Hanoi Jane should be forcefully converted to Islam in Iran. She'd look better in a burqua. |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2003-12-5 12:50:00 PM |
| #11 I remember hearing a while back that she'd become an Evangelical. Guess the graft didn't take . . . . |
| Posted by: Mike 2003-12-5 12:46:33 PM |
| #10 vagina-friendly men Guess that excludes gay men... |
| Posted by: ab 2003-12-5 12:45:00 PM |
| #9 Read the whole article! It gets better, for example, "the Male Belief System, that compartmentalized, hierarchical, ejaculatory, andocentric power structure that is Patriarchy, is fatal to the hearts of men, to empathy and relationship." Did she go back to Wellesley for a refresher course on "Man-hating for Harpies 101" or something? When I read tripe like this about the ejaculatory Male Belief System supporting the Patriarchy, it really gets to me... I stiffen and the pressure just builds up, and I start to sweat and breathe hard and shudder, and I know it will have to end in an explosive climax. |
| Posted by: Former CNN Watcher 2003-12-5 12:30:17 PM |
| #8 "There will be a special focus on involving young women." - That's been my focus for years, they should bring me in as a consultant. 'First thing Jane, loved Barbarella, bold political statement there. Made me hard like Chinese Algebra. Uh I mean think hard, like Chinese Algebra. Second thing, the trick is to ply them with flattery and drinks. You know get them warmed up and in the mood.' |
| Posted by: Brainiac 2003-12-5 12:27:49 PM |
| #7 ...to build a new movement that will coalesce our energies and forces around a politic of caring To paraphrase a line I heard in a movie once: The only good movement is a bowel movement. |
| Posted by: badanov 2003-12-5 12:25:24 PM |
| #6 Hot wet friendly vaginas smothered in lava juche? Holy moherf**k! Where the hell do we sign up? Ol' Jane knows the truth: myns are wired this way. We do everything we do to get laid. Every. Thing. She musta done that Klute gig hard 'n heavy (and hard again) before she hooked up on Ted's Billion-dollar Bandwagon. She knows what the Pros knows... |
| Posted by: .com 2003-12-5 12:18:35 PM |
| #5 We know that a Pandora’s box has been opened in the Middle East... Oh, was that the name of the children's prison? |
| Posted by: Matt 2003-12-5 12:15:03 PM |
| #4 "This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a flow of soft, hot, empathic, breathing, authentic, vagina-friendly, relational lava that will encircle patriarchy and smother it." -I didn't know ole' Hanoi J read Penthouse Forum as well....... |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2003-12-5 12:06:08 PM |
| #3 1. I thought the house of cards had already collapsed. Of the 55 cards only 13 are left and they are all 'on the run'. 2. Some communists will never admit defeat. 3. 'Am I invited?' LOL |
| Posted by: Gasse Katze 2003-12-5 12:05:35 PM |
| #2 "This movement will be a volcano that will erupt in a flow of soft, hot, empathic, breathing, authentic, vagina-friendly, relational lava that will encircle patriarchy and smother it." Jeez, when you put it that way... SIGN ME UP!!! Smother my patriarchy, baby! Smother it! |
| Posted by: BH 2003-12-5 11:57:48 AM |
| #1 V-Day, vagina day ??? |
| Posted by: Poitiers-Lepanto 2003-12-5 11:56:12 AM |