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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| ’Magic’ wooden penis saves woman |
| 2003-10-21 |
| I hear .com’s got one of these.... An abbot’s ’magic’ wooden penis has been credited with restoring a woman to health in Thailand. Ladda Satiya, 66, was lent the carved phallus by an abbot at the Thepprasart Temple in Pattaya after falling ill from eating poisonous mushrooms. of course! Everyone knows the antidote to ’shroom poisoning is a "magic" wood penis. common knowledge... Satiya called the abbot, Pra Boonsong, when the mushrooms made her feel dizzy and out of breath. He gave it to her brother and suggested she swallowed a mixture of rice and water ground up by the penis. Satiya said it was like eating pepper and her symptoms disappeared soon afterwards. Speaking to the Pattaya Mail, the abbot said he had cast a spell on the phallus. My ex-wife did that to mine...I got better He said the ’magic’ wood is able to heal people poisoned by toxic substances and prevent the bearer being affected by black magic. But he refused to reveal the source of the penis wood for fear of forest devastation. "Rain forest deforestation due to magic wood penis harvesting - coming soon to a town near you!" |
| Posted by:Frank G |
| #13 Bomb, if I were able, I would answer with a Woody the Woodpecker maniacle laugh. Please, imagine it for effect. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-21 5:25:35 PM |
| #12 ..The Magic Flute? That would be called the Magic Skin Flute. ;) |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2003-10-21 4:29:05 PM |
| #11 Hmmmm. I think, given the scarcity of the Dutch in Africa these days, it may already have done its worst... Yet another genocide, sniff sniff... I think the remnants are down in Cape Town. |
| Posted by: .com 2003-10-21 3:00:44 PM |
| #10 Can you adapt this prop to an afro-centric rendition of The Magic Flute? -- sorry, this was fertile ground. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-21 3:00:36 PM |
| #9 Super Hose predicts that the next plague sweeping the continent of Africa will be Dutch Elm Disease. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-21 2:50:06 PM |
| #8 special emphasis on pregnant women and demons and such LOL. That about covers the Lucifarien waterfront. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-10-21 12:59:13 PM |
| #7 B-a-R - Personally I wasn't wondering... hey, there was no mention of her having splinters in her tongue... ;-> |
| Posted by: .com 2003-10-21 12:19:23 PM |
| #6 I'm kinda wondering - did she try to suck it? |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2003-10-21 11:11:44 AM |
| #5 When will Pra be setting up the website and sending out all the spam and popup ads? |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-21 11:06:55 AM |
| #4 Pine? I'd have thought you'd want to use a hard wood. |
| Posted by: Robert Crawford 2003-10-21 11:01:58 AM |
| #3 Right now, there is some guy in Idaho, turning and burning some pine on a lathe, with dreams of being first to market on E-bay. I salute the man. Capitalism rules the market. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-21 10:53:10 AM |
| #2 Hey, stop talking 'bout my woodie! Phallic carvings are very common in Thailand. So are the shaman types. These Buddhists are also animists - some pretty weird stuff - which they originally got from the Hindus. It's a pretty weird mix with special emphasis on pregnant women and demons and such. Lots of folklore I could relate, but hey, all unscientific ooga booga is a waste of breath / keystrokes when it counts. I always remember, as a kid, being given a rabbit's foot and told it would bring me luck. All I could think about was the poor rabbit - and how it hadn't been lucky at all for him. Ooga booga - can you say 30 new Cardinals, Frank? What, was there a shortage? ;-> Suffice it to say I don't exactly buy the lady's claims - assuming she used it as directed. Now if she was a little more liberal in her application, well now, that would be quite different and certainly could've brought the rosie pink flush back to her cheeks... 8-> |
| Posted by: .com 2003-10-21 10:35:18 AM |
| #1 Watch out for liberials handing out Magic Penis'. " It not only quenches your lust, but restores your health too! " |
| Posted by: Charles 2003-10-21 10:02:01 AM |