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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Global Spread of Bear Attacks Continue |
| 2003-10-16 |
| A POLAR bear has killed the last villager on Russia’s Vrangel island off the northern Chukotka peninsula, scientists at a local reserve said. The reserve’s workers attempted to save Vasilina Alpaun, who was attacked on her own doorstep, but were too late. The Ushakovskoye village had been abandoned since 1997, when its inhabitants were moved to the peninsula to make way for the bear reserve, but Alpaun, 25, returned to her old home shortly afterwards. Missed the old homestead. Bears roam free on the island and are rarely aggressive, the reserve’s director Leonid Bove said, adding that the woman most likely provoked the animal. Er, no, polar bears are maybe the most aggressive predators on the planet. Food is so scarce in the polar regions they will attack and eat almost anything. At the far northern radar stations, they have to maintain polar bear watches and keep personnel inside when they are around. |
| Posted by:Steve |
| #13 Well uhh umm duh It was them welfare queens drivin' them Cadillacs that caused this |
| Posted by: RonnieRaygun 2003-10-16 10:47:09 PM |
| #12 And unlike any of the fat cat revolving door bureaucrats like Cheney and the other cohorts from the State Dept who have taken up the cudgel for the Saudis--I'll actually go HELP/WORK to put AMERICANS in affordable housing thru Habitat--that Jimmuh is a BAD MAN! |
| Posted by: Not Mike Moore 2003-10-16 10:42:59 PM |
| #11 Old Pat! I hear ya! I think they need better housing. Housing able to stand the flow of low slava, able to berry ribble, and trees with many saps, slow chickens and dumb ass yankees. Remembuh your local peanut famah is yo best friend. Send Money. Jimmuh |
| Posted by: Jimmuh 2003-10-16 6:28:50 PM |
| #10 Wrangell Island has over 500 polar bear dens. POLAR BEAR STOMP I hates the man who says all bears s--t in the woods Cause I don't Cause I'm a Polar Bear, rrrrrah. I don't set my rump down on no stump I eat seals. I find seals very succulant I like to suck em on down, s--t em on out Like to watch em glide Like to watch em slide Hey, if I greet ya I just might eat ya...[etc etc] -from Alaska Hit Singles album 1982 (also has the Yukon Women song) |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-10-16 1:28:19 PM |
| #9 Lesse, most animals in the wild have good defenses against bears. Ruminants and other vegetation eaters run fast. Mountain lions and wolverines are nasty creatures with claws, and usually don't taste good. Birds fly away. Fishing is easy, but only during spawning. Berries take forever to ripen, and most trees where bears are have nasty-tasting sap. Most humanoids can't outrun a slow lava flow. Our teeth and nails are pathetic. Most people are over-fed, with large quantities of juicy fat. Recent evidence suggests that a large portion of our population is also stupid. Under these conditions, Darwinism will NOT work in our favor. |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2003-10-16 1:28:18 PM |
| #8 Cause we're "good eatin'". We're also probably bear infidels. But mostly... we're "good eatin'". |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-16 1:03:30 PM |
| #7 We should be asking ourselves, "What have we done to cause this? Why do they eat us?" |
| Posted by: Mike 2003-10-16 12:39:24 PM |
| #6 I have heard stories of bears that learned if they leaned on a VW Bug the windows would pop out and give them access to whatever was within. Airtight only works when the bears don't learn the airtight often hides tasty munchies. |
| Posted by: Yank 2003-10-16 12:37:28 PM |
| #5 In bear country, I would recommend a hemrmetically sealed trash cans and a dump at least 50 miles away. I don't no bears - other than I don't want to attract them. Bears scare me unless Kordell Stewart is under center. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-16 12:21:06 PM |
| #4 Alaskan Grizzlies are such cute and cuddly creatures http://www.blackbearheaven.com/world-record-grizzly-bear.htm |
| Posted by: mojo 2003-10-16 11:32:51 AM |
| #3 Shades of Gary Larson..... Pray the bears in Yellowstone never discover car antennas.... |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-10-16 10:22:35 AM |
| #2 Same deal when a sub cracks the ice. They always keep an armed bear watch on the sail. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-10-16 10:21:39 AM |
| #1 Next on Fox: When Polar Bears Order Takeout. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-16 10:19:50 AM |