| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Yet Another Criminal Mastermind Apprehended |
| 2003-10-10 |
| EFL hattip to WND A robber who hit two Miami banks Wednesday blamed his crimes on homely looks and body odor, police said. But it was sore feet that did him in. I think the county has a luxirious spa After shuffling out of his second bank heist in 20 minutes, police said Daniel Gallagher stopped to rest his weary soles. So he plopped down on a grassy swale — within sight of a police officer quizzing a witness. If you must hide in plain sight, at least change your shirt or something - hasn’t this guy seen Cops. ’’His feet were tired,’’ said Detective Delrish Moss, a police spokesman. ``He’s a bank robber. I didn’t say he was brilliant.’’ Gallagher’s short-lived career as a holdup man began about 10:30 a.m., when he walked seven blocks from his apartment at 1210 NE First Ave. to the Citibank at 1790 Biscayne Blvd. Police say Gallagher threatened to detonate a bomb unless the teller handed over $100. His ’’explosive,’’ police later learned: a cold can of Miller beer in a bag. The bomb threat might have been accurate depending on his diet. He probably breakfasted on three microwaved nachos from the 7-11. The teller handed over the cash and triggered a silent alarm. before her gag reflex incapcitated her. ’’He’s leaving as the officers arrive, and figures they’re busy and won’t notice him,’’ Moss said. He walked down the block to the TotalBank. Same beer can. Another hundred bucks. Looks like he was correct about the police being too busy to prevent stage two of his crime spree. Gallagher then ambled about 100 feet and sat down, Moss said. Standing outside the Citibank: Officer Rayford Shipman, asking a witness for a description. ’And she looks over and says, `There he his!’ ’’ Moss said. Shipman walked up to Gallagher and placed him in custody. cuffing him and making him sit in the back of his buddy’s car. At headquarters, Gallagher revealed his motive. ’He said, `I’m ugly and I smell bad, so I can’t get a job,’ ’’ Moss said. ’ `I gotta get money somehow.’’ He’s the victim. |
| Posted by:Super Hose |
| #5 He cetainly could have five-fingered some deoderant and mouthwash when he purchased the tall boy. Come to think of it, he could have gotten $100 out of the gas-station register and saved the wlk to the bank. I'm sure he could have saved a brown bag from yesterday's beer run. Maybe the food is better in Federal Prison and he didn't want to risk Thursday night beef-a-roni at the county jug. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2003-10-10 7:26:01 PM |
| #4 Not till you pry the cold pop top from my bloody fingers. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-10-10 6:56:20 PM |
| #3 When will Florida enact beer can control laws! |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-10-10 1:56:36 PM |
| #2 ``He’s a bank robber. I didn’t say he was brilliant.’’ -A very tactful understatement by the constable. |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2003-10-10 12:13:14 PM |
| #1 Counsin Ray! |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-10-10 11:40:45 AM |