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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Siegfried: Tiger only wanted to help Roy
2003-10-09
Ok, I initially put a moratorium on laughing about this as it was a man who was really hurt and it would be ’not nice’ to laugh at someone in that predicament, but this statement from ’siegfried’ effectively removes that embargo. "flame on" as they say.....
Despite reports to the contrary, Siegfried Fischbacher said Wednesday that the white tiger named Montecore did not maul his partner,
stop giggling....
magician Roy Horn, during a Las Vegas, Nevada, show last week.
Of course he didn't maul him. He tried to chew his head off...
Instead, Fischbacher said on CNN’s "Larry King Live," Montecore attempted to help his trainer offstage after Horn fell down.
Ladies and gentleman, I am not making this up. this is EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID.
Ummm... Didn't he fall down after the tiger tried to chew his head off?
"A tiger, when he grabs you, it’s the strength," Fischbacher said. "He thinks it’s another tiger, and another tiger has [thick] skin like this, and the fur."
Note to siggy - the tiger doesnt think you're a tiger, he thinks you are food.
The tiger put its jaws around Horn’s neck to lift him as a mother cat does with her cubs, Fischbacher said in the interview, his first since the accident.
siegfried declined to explain how small tiger cubs are almost never eaten by the mother cub by accident.
The Tiger, annoyed at doing two shows a night and a matinee on saturday, being the star of a show yet getting cattle prod in the ass for the slightest discrepancy Unaware of its strength, the 7-year-old tiger ended up nearly killing causing Horn severe injuries that have left the performer in critical condition since Friday’s show, he said. Audience members who witnessed the show at the MGM Mirage said it appeared the tiger momentarily lashed out at his trainer, mauling him and then dragging him offstage.
"Lookitdat, Margaret! He's chewing his head off!"
One audience member said Horn looked like a rag doll in the tiger’s mouth.
it was hard to tell at the time as everyone was giving a standing ovation to the tiger for something they had all secretly wished to do themselves.
"Listen, I say it was an accident," Fischbacher said. "If it would be that the tiger would be out for killing Roy, it would [have happened] in no time."
note to siggy, look closely, it DID!
"Montecore! Stop playing with your food!"
"Yes, Mom!"
Fischbacher spoke from Los Angeles, California,
120 miles away from his playful tiger friends
just two hours after visiting his longtime performing partner
stop giggling...
in a Las Vegas hospital. He said Horn is responding and communicating. "His color is back," Fischbacher said.
that color would be his normal pasty white pallor that hes worked for years to perfect.
And that's after they poured a few gallons of blood into him...
Fischbacher and the duo’s manager, Bernie Yuman, said the 59-year-old Horn had a stroke after suffering massive blood loss in the attack and has had two surgeries since then.
"Doctor Bob! Do you really thing we can sew his head back on?"
"We can but try, Alistaire."
"Roy has the will of a thousand men, and I think probably a lesser man wouldn’t have gotten to this point," Yuman said. "We really believe that we’re about to turn the corner."
"... into a long corridor, leading to a bright light. There he'll meet his sainted Mother..."
"I always say I’m the magician, and he’s the magic," Fischbacher said. "He’s doing his magic. He’s so strong, he’s unbelievable."
The only things that are unbelieveable is that you are this deluded and that this didnt happen sooner.
There has been no change in Horn’s condition since the attack Friday, hospital officials said. Horn remains in critical condition.
The tiger could not be reached for comment, but is apparently enjoying the unexpected time off.
CNN learned Wednesday that the U.S. Department of Agriculture has launched an investigation of the show for violations of the federal Animal Welfare Act.
Why? the Tiger acted on 6 million years of highly tuned evolution? Why not investigate S&R to find out how they could think that playing with large man-eating mammals would be ’fun and playful’?
The act requires that during public exhibition an animal must be handled in such a way that there is minimal risk of harm to both the animal and the public, a USDA spokesman said.
and as they say in Las Vegas, who wants to see that?
Which was gnawed on? The animal or the public? I forget...
There must also be "sufficient distance and/or barriers between animal and audience," the spokesman said.
siegfried has already taken action - apparently putting 120 miles between himself and the tigers
In the Siegfried & Roy show, the audience sat close to the stage with no barriers.
under big signs for the tigers hanging from the ceiling that said "DO NOT EAT THE CUSTOMERS"
Agriculture inspectors would not say specifically what they are investigating,
Gee, how do you get a wild animal to want to perform in Las Vegas?, thats so like their natural environment.
but public officials in Las Vegas are considering whether there should be new regulations.
They mean lawsuits.
The USDA conducted routine inspections of the Siegfried & Roy show four times in the past three years and found no violations. There was one inspection in 2000, two in 2001, and one last December, the USDA spokesman said.
local wags have noticed that inspectors all coincidentally chose to install pools and jacuzzis at their homes after said inspections were complete.
Fischbacher said he has been overwhelmed by the public support he and Horn have received since the accident. "I never [could] imagine that Siegfried & Roy was that popular and loved," he said. "What we achieved is something. This is bigger. This is huge."
Is he saying that Roy should have been eaten sooner?
Combining magic tricks with tiger stunts, Siegfried & Roy have performed on the Las Vegas strip for nearly 30 years.
Satans Disneyland - Open 24 hours/365 days a year/ We Never Close....
Posted by:frank martin

#6  Roe & Garry read a letter from Steve Wyatt today.

Seems Montecore became fascinated to a lady's do in the front row seats, faced her and stuck his head closer to her instead of hitting his marks. She tried to pet him under his chin. Roy tried to get him away, Montecore grabbed his arm lightly because Roy hit him too hard, no marks, tried to pull him away but Montecore stuck his paw behind Roy's leg and Roy tripped. Montecore grabbed him like he would a kitten, dragged him off stage, dropped him in back and went into his cage. Very calm.

He did all that hitting his and Roy's marks, walking off stage, putting Roy where he was supposed to be after walking off stage...

Maybe the Best of Roe and Garry will have it on Saturday, 12-3 P CDT, wlsam.com hit listen live option. Someone suggested there's an opening and it could now be Siegfried and Roe.
Posted by: Anonymous   2003-10-10 12:01:49 AM  

#5  Either the tiger was homophobic or Roy was menstruating. I don't know which... maybe both.
Posted by: Super Hose   2003-10-9 10:12:08 PM  

#4  The tiger put its jaws around Horn’s neck to lift him as a mother cat does with her cubs

...or as a hungry tiger does to drag away its prey.

Sheesh, any moron with a T.V. knows this crap.
Posted by: Carl in N.H.   2003-10-9 7:08:14 PM  

#3  pretty obviously the tiger thought he was choking and tried to do a tracheotomy, unfortunately all he had to use was his massive jaws and teeth capable of crushing a water buffalo's spine, but hey, he was working with the tools he had. Give the tiger credit
Posted by: Frank G   2003-10-9 5:00:55 PM  

#2  Great Wahrks! The competiton for Darwin Awards and Honorable mentions is getting thick! That idiot who tried to put an anti-Iraq-liberation poster on the bridge and fell, the idiot who got high and clipped his doinker, the idiot who fed himself and his gal to a bear, Rachel Araflat, and now this!
Posted by: Atrus   2003-10-9 4:45:24 PM  

#1  Some little twisted conspiracy filled part of me thought that this would be a great gag to fake everyone and add renewed interest to a somewhat lame show. I mean the tigers have to seem dangerous or what's the point.

The fact that Roy can't talk but was able to say don't hurt the tiger and that now Ziggy is also defending the tiger leads me to believe that its' faked (they are magicians after all) or they are both semi-dellusional fools.
Posted by: Yank   2003-10-9 3:55:59 PM  

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