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Africa: North
Tunisian crashes car in US embassy
2003-09-30
A Tunisian has crashed a van into a perimeter wall of the United States embassy in Tunis, in what he said was an attempt to commit suicide.
"I just couldn't take it no more..."
Nabil bin Jab Allah, 39, “had set light to a gas canister but was only slightly injured” when his van caught fire after slamming into the embassy wall overnight on Monday, said officials on Tuesday.
"Ouch! Ooch! Ow! Hot! Argh! My lap!"
Bin Jab Allah told investigators that he “wanted to commit suicide after he failed to obtain a visa which would have allowed him to return to the United States and be with his American wife”.
"Maudette! I pine for you!"
"Why wouldn't you give him a visa?"
"He's too emotional."
Consular staff confirmed to AFP that there had been an accident outside the embassy premises overnight, but made no further comment.
"Ummm... Yup. That's what happened, all right..."
The perimeter wall bore no signs of the accident on Tuesday, but security had been stepped up outside the embassy.
Dontcha hate that, when the wall's sturdier than the car?
Two extra police cars and members of Tunisia’s national guard were deployed, along with the usual security outside the embassy, which lies on the road linking Tunis to the northern suburb of La Marsa.
"Park here, Mahmoud, and wait for awhile. He might have relatives."
Posted by:Fred Pruitt

#5  Allah bin Jab bin Jab Allah
Posted by: Grunter   2003-9-30 11:08:43 PM  

#4  Couple of pointers for my main man:
1. Just run the van in the garage with the door closed. You'll go quietly without annoying the rest of us.
2. If you must drive into a wall to make a specatacle of yourself, disconnect the airbags and unbuckle the seat belt.
3. Buy a motorcycle; they are easier to total. Running into a wall at speed on a murdercycle will enure that you are treated to a close casket funneral. Go with the leather jacket and no helmet model. Take a picture of yourself wearing dark sunglasses before you take the fatal ride so that your honey can remember you looking cool.

Personally, I am against assisted suicide, but this guy's effort was pitiful. He needs some help.
Posted by: Super Hose   2003-9-30 8:08:28 PM  

#3  Looks like the officer in charge of Visas made the right decision on turning down this one.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2003-9-30 4:15:09 PM  

#2  Second, again.
Posted by: Steve   2003-9-30 3:59:41 PM  

#1  Bin Jab Allah told investigators that he “wanted to commit suicide after he failed to obtain a visa which would have allowed him to return to the United States and be with his American wife”.

Well that was brilliant. I wonder who was gullible enough to marry this winner?
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama   2003-9-30 3:56:47 PM  

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