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| -Short Attention Span Theater- | |
| Giant asteroid could hit Earth in 2014 | |
| 2003-09-02 | |
| A giant asteroid is heading for Earth and could hit in 2014, U.S. astronomers have warned British space monitors. But for those fearing Armageddon, don’t be alarmed — the chances of a catastrophic collision are just one in 909,000. (Same chances of Dean being elected) Asteroid "2003 QQ47" will be closely monitored over the next two months. Its potential strike date is March 21, 2014, but astronomers say that any risk of impact is likely to decrease as further data is gathered. (Dems wonder how this will affect voter turnout in the midterm elections) On impact, it could have the effect of 20 million Hiroshima atomic bombs, a spokesman for the British government’s Near Earth Object Information Centre told BBC radio. The Centre issued the warning about the asteroid after the giant rock was first observed in New Mexico by the Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Program. "The Near Earth Object will be observable from Earth for the next two months and astronomers will continue to track it over this period," said Dr Alan Fitzsimmons, one of the expert team advising the Centre.
I say we start a HUGE party about Summer 2013 and just keep it going until the big day. About a month prior we all sober up and start an all-out war against anybody who has ever said anything bad about the U.S. (starting with Canada). About a week prior we should launch a premptive nuclear strike on France, Germany, Syria, and the PRC. The day before ’splashdown’ President Condi Rice should have the Presidency over to Hillary, after she grants amnesty to ALL criminals. | |
| Posted by:Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) |
| #23 A giant asteroid is heading for Earth and could hit in 2014,.. Launch Mike Moore (or Not) into space without sufficient escape velocity, and the above scenario just might happen.... |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2003-9-2 11:54:05 PM |
| #22 This is entirely the fault of Bill CLinton for lying about a BJ that we had to spend MILLIONS of dollars to discover |
| Posted by: Not Mike Moore 2003-9-2 10:05:36 PM |
| #21 eLarson, I think that's 2012. |
| Posted by: Rafael 2003-9-2 8:26:28 PM |
| #20 Dar, great idea, but I think that we also need a more nuanced approach to the laws of physics, which conservatives clearly cannot provide. Have you ever watched a conservative jump up in the air? They always come right back down, showing their pathetic need for certainty and their simplistic interpretation of Sir Isaac Newton. Despite her substantial mass, Hillary just kind of floats there, |
| Posted by: Matt 2003-9-2 8:22:59 PM |
| #19 Is 2014 when the Aztec calendar runs out, too? |
| Posted by: eLarson 2003-9-2 8:21:06 PM |
| #18 Coming up next: Asteroids: Why do they hate us? |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-9-2 8:18:27 PM |
| #17 Clearly we need to elect Hillary in 2012 to open a channel and negotiate with the asteroid. The asteroid's violent behavior is clearly a call for help because society has failed it. After all, it takes a village! |
| Posted by: Dar 2003-9-2 7:58:07 PM |
| #16 Check out the JPL Site for the latest on the orbits. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-9-2 7:57:13 PM |
| #15 Are we sure this isn't Rahu the malefic planet? I say we put Phantom Mission on the job now. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-9-2 7:21:23 PM |
| #14 Fred is going to need a new category for Pre-Asteroid Hit Anxiety and Activities |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-9-2 5:41:31 PM |
| #13 Better start making a list of things too do before we all die. 1: Kill Hillary Clinton. 2: Declare war on France and take the country in one week. 3: Make Fred President of the United States. 4: Hang Bin Laden by his balls. |
| Posted by: Charles 2003-9-2 5:20:50 PM |
| #12 Pick a Lagrangian Point. Any Lagrangian point. The rest is mere detail for technicians to work out. You've done the heavy lifting, mojo. LOL! |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-9-2 3:18:46 PM |
| #11 I don't suppose anyone's thought of grabbing the beastie and sliding it into an L5 orbit? |
| Posted by: mojo 2003-9-2 3:12:44 PM |
| #10 I'm sure this is all Reagan's fault somehow. Everything else is. |
| Posted by: SPQR 2755 2003-9-2 2:48:02 PM |
| #9 It's the nickel. Have you seen the price of nickel recently? The strike at INCO cut the supply (now their back to work I hear), the Russians cut theirs... perfect time to get into nickel. |
| Posted by: Rafael 2003-9-2 2:17:32 PM |
| #8 It's all about Irrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooonnnnnnn and nickel. Heh heh. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-9-2 2:10:58 PM |
| #7 Bush-Cheyney are in cahoots with Haliburton to bring the asteroid to Earth. Apparently there is oil inside. |
| Posted by: Anonymous 2003-9-2 12:43:41 PM |
| #6 Don't forget the obligatory "...women and minorities hardest hit." Kyoto accords... heheh, first good laff o' the day. |
| Posted by: Mark IV 2003-9-2 12:09:30 PM |
| #5 Personally, Ptah, I'll wait until I know where it's gonna hit. May be some place convenient. The list is growing. |
| Posted by: Tom 2003-9-2 11:30:53 AM |
| #4 "Dems wonder how this will affect voter turnout in the midterm elections" new Dem strategy - play everyone as victims and the asteroid as a "wedge issue", which can only be solved by raising taxes on the rich |
| Posted by: Frank G 2003-9-2 11:25:46 AM |
| #3 Sorry, but my day planner doesn't go that far out. And we wouldn't have this problem if Bush had signed the Kyoto accords. |
| Posted by: Matt 2003-9-2 11:23:56 AM |
| #2 Mph. It will be up to the Merkins to stop this thing, as usual... |
| Posted by: Ptah 2003-9-2 11:13:08 AM |
| #1 Well, good. I've had about enough of those midget asteroids... Celestial roulette isn't really this predictable, though. Nice "chicken little" reporting, probably win an award of some sort. |
| Posted by: mojo 2003-9-2 11:07:41 AM |