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Iraq
X-ray glasses and Air Conditioned underwear in Iraq!
2003-08-07
As an American soldier peered out of a passing tank, a young engineering student and a retired accountant contemplated one of the more common questions on the streets of Baghdad: Did the soldier’s wraparound sunglasses give him X-ray vision? "With those glasses, he can definitely see through women’s clothes," said the engineering student, Samer Hamid. "It makes me angry. We are afraid to take our families out on the street."
(These glasses are standard issue in the armed services)
Boy. When I was in the Army they didn't issue us x-ray vision sunglasses. We had to buy our own...
The retired accountant, Hekmet Tinber Hassan, smiled and said it was a baseless rumor, just like the widespread story that Saddam Hussein had been secretly working for America and was now at a C.I.A. safe house. "I do not believe Saddam is in America," Mr. Hassan said. "I heard he went to Tel Aviv."
Some people have a lot of imagination, don't they? Everybody knows he's in Fairbanks...
Just as truth is the first casualty of war, urban legends seem to be the first creation of a military occupation, especially when the cultural gap is as wide as it is here. After life under Mr. Hussein, people here are accustomed to conspiracy theories and ready to believe the worst about anyone in power. Of course, Americans have been circulating their own kinds of legends, starting with the fantasies a few months ago that the occupying troops would be peacefully welcomed by a nation of grateful flower-waving citizens. But there have been more guns than flowers. In the urban legends flourishing here, the soldiers triumphed thanks to Mr. Hussein’s treachery and to American technology. The legend about the X-ray sunglasses may have evolved from reports about the soldiers’ night-vision goggles, or maybe just from the imposing Terminator image of the soldiers.
I think it's because they don't watch enough teevee, myself. And when they do, it's dumb stuff like al-Jazeera or al-Arabiya. They need more Baywatch...
Compared with the residents, who cope with 120-degree heat by staying in the shade and dressing in light clothes and sandals, the soldiers have the look of robotic aliens as they patrol in the midday sun wearing combat boots, helmets and armored vests. Some Iraqis say the soldiers take special pills that keep them cool, but the most common theory is that they have portable air-conditioners — usually said to be inside the vests, but sometimes placed in the helmet or even the underwear. "There is fluid circulating throughout the underwear," said Mr. Hamid, the engineering student. "I am not sure of the exact mechanism, but we all know the Americans have very sophisticated technology."
(This sounds like a good idea)
Aadel Delli, the owner of a food market in downtown Baghdad,
Not "Delli's Deli"?
said he did not believe the air-conditioned-uniform stories, which he attributed to popular doubts about Americans’ capacity for discomfort. "Most Iraqis thought the American soldiers would be gone by now because they could never stand the summer in Iraq," he said.
A mere trifle next to the Brutal Afghan Winter™...
Sweltering soldiers have tried dispelling the myths about their gear by letting Iraqis touch their vests and try on their sunglasses, but some legends will not die. "I let a kid put on my sunglasses, and he was still convinced they had X-ray vision," said Sgt. Stephen Roach, a soldier from Lufkin, Tex. "He kept saying to me, `Turn it on, turn it on.’ "
Wanted to grab a peek at some knockers, did he?
When they are not peering through women’s clothes, the male soldiers are said to be groping underneath the clothes during searches at checkpoints, supposedly provoking some of the attacks on soldiers. (Never mind the absence of evidence for this theory.)
(Always fun!)
Other versions of the ugly-American stories have the soldiers drinking beer (or sometimes Kool-Aid laced with alcohol) inside their tanks near mosques. They have been accused in the Arab press of using pages from the Koran for toilet paper and of giving children candy packets containing pornography.
(Only Korans that have been taken DIRECTLY from a Mosque (While drinking Beer and eating pork rinds) may be used as toilet paper. They also forgot to mention that the candy is laced with drugs to make the kids addicts.)
The rumors became so numerous that Al Sabah, a new daily paper run by Iraqis with financial backing from the Coalition Provisional Authority, the American-run administrative organization, printed a supplement debunking them. "It will take awhile for people to reject the conspiracy theories," said its editor, Ismael Zayer. "Under Saddam, people had to depend on rumor because they could not trust the media."
Worked well, didn't it?
Some of the stories seem intended to encourage the fighters who have been attacking Americans. G.I.’s are said to be so demoralized that 30 percent of them have already abandoned their posts and paid $600 apiece to escape by an underground railroad to Turkey or Syria.
(A dream of many Gis is to live in Syria or Turkey)
Others have supposedly converted to Islam and fled to marry women in Saudi Arabia. There are also rumors that Americans are hiding their casualties by dumping large numbers of soldiers’ bodies each night into the Tigris River.
(After seeing those women through the X-ray glasses, they can’t help but want to marry an Arab woman.)
Frustration seems to feed many of the rumors. Why would the builders of smart bombs and X-ray sunglasses take longer to restore power than Mr. Hussein did after the 1991 Persian Gulf war? The Americans must be withholding electricity as revenge for the attacks on soldiers. People swear there have been Army vehicles driving around with signs announcing that power will be restored when the attacks stop.
(Now this actually makes sense)
For all the frustration, there remains some admiration for the occupiers, as seen in a popular fashion accessory on teenagers like Zahra Thaer, 13. She was walking down a sidewalk in Baghdad wearing a new pair of wraparound sunglasses. "These are the latest style," she said, explaining that she had been lucky to get one of the last pairs left in the store.
It's the Spaceman Spiff look...
Did she believe the soldiers’ glasses gave them X-ray vision? "I am not so sure about their sunglasses," she said. "But I know about the helmet. Inside each helmet is a map showing the soldier the location of every house in Iraq. My friends at school told me about it."
(This is actually close to the truth)
Posted by:Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter)

#14  Seen the Land warrior system on History Channel,Army also comming out with a new Infantry weapon(CIWS)that ain't nothen but BADD.
Over/under assault rifle/grenade launcher.Grenade s will detonet a a pre-determined point or on impact.
Posted by: raptor   2003-8-7 7:07:50 PM  

#13  Raj - Yep.
Posted by: ·com   2003-8-7 6:28:47 PM  

#12  "(After seeing those women through the X-ray glasses, they can’t help but want to marry an Arab woman.)"

Yeah, Who would want to see one of them Arab women?
Posted by: Patrick   2003-8-7 4:21:34 PM  

#11  Sade--Ugh! Reminds me of the time I first read Gates of Fire, and Pressfield wrote of guys lined up for battle in their phalanx losing control of bladder and bowel as the enemy approached. I don't think it'd have been fun to be shoulder-to-shoulder next to such a guy who's wearing a kilt or skirt with no underwear while you're wearing open-toed sandals!

*DAMMIT!*
Posted by: Dar   2003-8-7 3:55:44 PM  

#10   "There is fluid circulating throughout the underwear," said Mr. Hamid, the engineering student. "I am not sure of the exact mechanism, but we all know the Americans have very sophisticated technology." --- Soldiers getting shot at have had this technology for centuries! And it's not just fluid, either...
Posted by: Sade   2003-8-7 3:46:21 PM  

#9  Let's airdrop some old comic books on the Baghdad populace, then they can look in the back pages and buy their own X-ray glasses, along with some hovercraft and that neat trick candy that makes your friends pass instant gas.
Posted by: (lowercase) matt   2003-8-7 3:30:23 PM  

#8  It's high time for US counterintelligence to start spreading its own lunatic rumors. Let's see. The US has contaminated the Iraqi dust and water with mind-control drugs. The electrical system has been and is being modified to broadcast secret wavelengths transmitting irresistible messages, all measures have been carefully designed by the CIA to compel true Muslims to depths of unimaginable depravity. US soldiers are immune because of their specially designed sunglasses, helmets, water supplies, and all the beer and pork products they consume. The only prevention is to avoid using electricity, to stop drinking any form of water except that imported from abroad, to wrap oneself completely with aluminum foil, to secure an airtight plastic bag over one's head, sealed to one's neck with several turns of duct tape, and to lay out in the noonday sun for several hours.
-- That ought to decrease the apparent over-supply of gullible nitwits in Iraq. All such suggestions will be carefully studied.
Posted by: Tresho   2003-8-7 2:24:09 PM  

#7  Steve--Thanks for the source.

Group leaders are outfitted with a 17-inch screen with which they can track each soldier's movements.
I'll be interested to see how convenient it is to lug that around, even if it is a flat- or plasma-screen. For all the convenience of the lighter, cooler rig, seems you're going to be lugging plenty of batteries around for a lot of this stuff, too.

Bandwidth and frequency of broadcasting is also another question this raises. If your troops are constantly broadcasting their positions, then you're also broadcasting a lot of EMF--just like an active radar--and letting an enemy with detection equipment know you're nearby. I'm curious if they'll use only intermittent, on-demand broadcasts, like the Garmin Rino, to reduce traffic and broadcasting their positions.
Posted by: Dar   2003-8-7 2:13:39 PM  

#6  Is that you, PD?
Posted by: Raj   2003-8-7 2:10:05 PM  

#5  "With those glasses, he can definitely see through women’s clothes," said the engineering student, Samer Hamid.
An engineering student - yeah, right. This is what we laughingly referred to in SaoodiLand as "Third-World Engineering" or "Third World Physics" - meets Arthur C Clarke's definition of magic regularly.

So, Mr Human Resources Mgr, next time you get an application from one of these guys, flashing his "Engineering" BS (how apropos) from Doodah University in Southern Doodah, and you figure you can get an equivalent cog for the Great Machine at half the price, please remember that he knows almost nothing outside of the one thin vertical slice of reality he was drilled in - and that was in rote style, for he had no foundation for a broader intellectual understanding. What a deal - you get zip for half the price.
Posted by: ·com   2003-8-7 1:50:17 PM  

#4  brilliant, unless you're in the reserves. I'm still running around with an m16a2 musket, and I"m supposed to be in a SOF unit.

go figure that one, and remember gentleman that there is a big difference between developed, "fielded" and what is actually on the ground.

Some of our guys in the stan bought their own body armor because they were going to send us out with flak jackets that don't stop anything really.

-DS
Posted by: DeviantSaint   2003-8-7 1:34:11 PM  

#3  Army News Service:
Land Warrior' takes Army from bayonets to body armor
Posted by: Steve   2003-8-7 1:25:04 PM  

#2  Steve--Can you post your source for that excerpt?
Posted by: Dar   2003-8-7 12:54:49 PM  

#1  Closer than you think, Cyber Sarge:
Exhibits ranging from new boots to the latest weaponry were displayed in the Pentagon courtyard by the Program Executive Office Soldier.
"Hundreds of thousands of pieces of equipment" were sent to U.S. soldiers deployed in both Iraq and Afghanistan for them to use and test, Moran said. Of these several were on display at the Pentagon, including the XM107 long-range sniper rifle, XM29 integrated airburst weapon system, and the M4 carbine (modular). The PEO Soldier mission is to "arm and equip soldiers to dominate the full spectrum of peace and war." The Air and Land warrior weapon platforms were conceived to do just that, PEO officials said. These were developed to increase, "soldier lethality, survivability, mobility and sustainment." The Air Warrior is heralded as the first fully integrated system for Army aircrews. As he wore the Air Warrior outfit at the Pentagon, Staff Sgt. Michael Resmondo said that it was more comfortable and convenient than other uniforms he has worn. The helmet contains an enhanced face shield and earpiece for communication. He said safety is key in that the suit contains a floatation collar, signal radio, flares, soft body armor. An extraction restraint also allows the soldier to be air lifted, alone or with another person, without the need of a harness.
Comfort has not gone unnoticed. Resmondo seemed to appreciate the cooling unit, which can cool up to 62 degrees. The infantry soldier can look forward to the Land Warrior. This soldier of the future outfit is not as far off as it may seem, PEO officials said. It is expected to be ready by 2008.
The Land Warrior has a helmet-mounted display that provides weapon information, map displays, night vision and thermal images. Messages can be received through a microphone earpiece or a multi-band secured radio. The platform has a 500mhz computer, soldier control unit, and GPS.
Resistance is futile!
Posted by: Steve   2003-8-7 12:18:18 PM  

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