| #2 In fake news today: Actress/Activists Susan Sarandon and Rosie O'Donnell made a statement today condemning the liberation of Baghdad: "We are disgusted that this horrible thing has happened. Had we not been so eager to make war on a small, defenseless country, that child would still have the full use of his arms and legs, which he would need in order to survive his years of beatings, rapings and imprisonment at the hands of a regime which we still maintain is less evil than the totalitarian regime on our own soil. We are oblivious to the irony that were we Iraqian citizens even as recently as two weeks ago, we would have been raped and shot, or perhaps just shot, for voicing our disapproval of our beloved Saddam. More to the point, we refuse to recognize that the freedoms with its benefits we have wished for other nations have come only after our military shed its own precious blood in order to depose the tyrants we love so very, very much, and that our own loud, verbal protests didn't achieve anything except to make it harder for our boys to do their evil work of deposing inncent sadists. Long live Saddam! Long live Castro! Depose Bush! But don't stop loving us and giving us access to so much wealth that we could feed all of Baghdad for a week and not feel the pinch, if we chose to do so, which we obviously don't, feeling that we are doing enough for the people of Iraq simply by letting them bask in our physical presence for upwards of 30 minutes before we hop back on our private jets and go back to the horrible, awful United States where we can tell our nannies to shut the kids up instead of having to shut them up ourselves!" After making their statement, the actresses then thanked Satan for their otherwise inexplicable rise to fame and fortune. |