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| Axis of Evil |
| Janati slams idea of settling differences with USA |
| 2002-08-23 |
| A hardline Iranian conservative figure slammed Friday any idea of resolving differences with Washington. "US policies of force and intimidation in the world are aimed at colonizing other countries", said Ayatollah Ahmad Janati, head of Iran's powerful Guardians Council, in a sermon at Tehran University. It was not in Iran's interest "to settle differences with the United States," he said, reminding the faithful to "be vigilant to confront conspiracies by domestic and foreign enemies." A-yep. Y'gotta watch those conspiracies. They're everywhere y'look... He cited the 1953 US-sponsored coup that ousted Iranian prime minister Mohammed Mossadegh and replaced him with the exiled shah, as an example of Washington's intentions. That was, ummm... 49 years ago... The Guardians Council, a 12-member body dominated by conservatives, screens laws to ensure they are in accordance with its interpretation of Islamic principles and the constitution. They're the Guardians of Morals, divine-right theocrats ordained by Gawdalmighty to keep Iran on the Straight and Narrow™, Cotton Mather in a parallel universe, only with a turban. Without them, Iranian women would be running around in bikinis or less and all the cities in a Great and Pious Nation™ would be chock full of titty bars and NASCAR-themed beer joints. Men would forget their small arms training and spend their time on frivolous pursuits, like working for a living and chasing the bikini-clad babes. There would be Victoria's Secret catalogs under every mattress. There would be impious laughter and frivolty, even outright mirth. Men would be dancing with women, even touching them! The mosques would all close and deserving holy men would be starving in the streets... |
| Posted by:Fred Pruitt |