[An Nahar] Hookers in the northern Malawian city of Mzuzu
"Mzuzu! Mzuzu! That's my wonderful town!"
are accused of killing two clients by drowning them in a dam after they failed to pay for a night of debauchery, police said on Tuesday. "Pay up!"
"I got no money!"
"After a long time of drinking, the dear departedfinally made some whoopee with the babes for pay and failed to settle the bill," police spokesperson Norah Chimwala told Agence La Belle France Presse. "You mean you're a hooker? I thought you loved me!"
"The fallen women drowned them in a dam... they failed to swim." Coulda had something to do with the rocks tied around their necks...
Chimwala could not say how much the bill for whoopee was, but hookers in urban centers charge around six dollars. "Whoa! [Huffa puffa!] Wow! That was the sexual experience of a lifetime!"
"That'll be six dollars, please."
"Ummm... I only have four..."
"MFatso! Hand me that big rock, wouldja?"
"No! Wait! I found another coupla bucks! It was in my sock!"
Police identified the dear departed as Mlumbo Chamvula and Osward Tembo, both 20 and hailing from Mzimba district. "My name's Osward and this is my friend Mlumbo!"
"Hiya, big boyz!"
"We're from Mzimba district!"
"Wanna have some fun?"
"How much fun?"
"We got... ummm... six dollars and change."
"Bartender! Beer for everyone!"
The hookers, only identified as Flora and Mphatso, I'll betcha MFatso ain't no slender belle...
are on the run and police said they were tracking them.
[An Nahar] Patriarch Ignatius IV Hazim of Antioch and all the East passed away on Wednesday after suffering from a stroke and the day of his funeral has been announced a national mourning day, several media sources announced.
While the National News Agency said that the funeral will be held on Sunday at 12:00 p.m. at the Saint Nicholas Church in Ashrafiyeh, OTV reported that his coffin will be taken to the Mariamite Cathedral of Damascus also on Sunday.
Hazim was admitted to the Saint George hospital Tuesday morning after suffering a stroke that affected "his movement ability and consciousness".
Born in 1921 in Mhardeh in Syria's Hama province, Hazim graduated in philosophy from the American University of Beirut in 1945, and went on to study liturgy in France in 1949.
He was one of the founders of the Orthodox Youth Movement in 1942.
Upon his return to Lebanon, he founded the University of Balamand in northern Lebanon.
Amazing. I'd always assumed that it was one of those things said about the English, not that it was real.
[An Nahar] Canadian author Nancy Huston was on Tuesday awarded what has been dubbed Britannia's "most dreaded literary prize" for penning the most cringeworthy erotic description of 2012.
After the so-called "mummy porn" phenomenon gripped the literary world -- with erotic novel "Fifty Shades of Grey" topping international best-seller lists -- eight writers were on the shortlist in the not-so-prestigious Bad Sex in Fiction Award's 20th year.
Gay Paree-based Huston claimed the dubious honour with her book "Infrared", becoming only the third female winner of the prize.
The 59-year-old did not attend the ceremony at London's In And Out Club, but sent an acceptance message.
"I hope this prize will incite thousands of British women to take close-up photos of their lovers' bodies in all states of array and disarray," she said.
Others on the shortlist included Paul Mason, who offended judges by comparing his lustful hero to "a forlorn circus rider" in debut novel "Rare Earth", and Nicola Barker for describing a lover in her novel "The Yips" as a "hungry finch" in an orchard.
Despite widespread calls on social networking sites for it to be added to the shortlist, E.L. James's sado-masochistic romance "Fifty Shades" was not in the running, as the prize does not cover "expressly erotic literature".
"The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to the crude, badly written, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it," said the Literary Review magazine, which runs the award.
"Literary Review is proud to continue its gentle chastisement of the worst excesses of the literary novel."
Ahh, they're into "gentle chastisement", not outright S&M and bondage.
Give 'em time.
Posted by: ed in teaxs ||
Another bad writing contest. The 2012 Lyttoniad Contest winners where www means "Wretched Writers Welcome."
Winner: Crime category (could be sex too)
She slinked through my door wearing a dress that looked like it had been painted on ... not with good paint, like Behr or Sherwin-Williams, but with that watered-down stuff that bubbles up right away if you don't prime the surface before you slap it on, and -- just like that cheap paint -- the dress needed two more coats to cover her. -- Sue Fondrie, Appleton, WI
[Reuters] An earthquake measuring 5.5 in magnitude struck eastern Iran on Wednesday, killing eight people and injuring 12 others as emergency teams scrambled to rescue others and treat the injured, Iranian media reported.
People fled their homes as the quake struck and brought walls and buildings down. But others were left trapped under rubble in villages across the district of Zohan in South Khorasan province, Fars news agency said.
"Eight people have been killed in the earthquake area and one person is missing. Unfortunately a number of those injured have bit the dust in the last few hours," Mehr news agency quoted South Khorasan's crisis management director Mohammad Ali Akhundi as saying.
"Homes have sustained damage and people are out in public places and they need the means to keep themselves warm because of the cold," he said.
Iran's Red Islamic Thingy Society despatched 15 rescue teams to the affected areas to search for people stuck under the debris and doctors in the thriving provincial capital of Birjand were on alert to treat those hurt, Fars new agency reported.
Rescue units of Iran's national Basij militia also joined operations, despatching three medical teams.
What do you know of the White Lady of Flores Joe? She came out of the jungle one night on the way to the Merizo fiesta by Umatac and yelled at me and my two friends. I think I was speeding. I just thought she was some crazy homeless lady living in the jungle, when I was there I didnt think to ask about it to the sinahana's and it took 15 years to find another who knew she is real. It really creeped me out to find that the White Lady of Flores lived during the 16th century, and I think she could still be holding a grudge against me. Any other info on her you have Joe would make my day! Thanks!
One can sow seeds as an active verb with a long O as well, dear Canuckistan sniper. Long months afterward, hopefully, one will reap the results as a rich harvest, after which the weak will not starve over the winter. ;-)
[An Nahar] Britannia's biggest retailer, supermarket Tesco, looked on course to withdraw from its struggling U.S. business Fresh & Easy as chief executive Philip Clarke on Wednesday said its presence would likely end.
"It's likely, but not certain, that our presence in America will come to an end," Clarke told news hounds, as Tesco said it was launching a strategic review of Fresh & Easy, which may lead to a sale of the business.
Tesco added in a statement that Fresh & Easy chief executive Tim Mason was leaving the company with immediate effect after 30 years with the British group.
"Whilst the (U.S.) business has many positives, its journey to scale and acceptable returns will take too long relative to other opportunities," Clarke said in the statement.
"I have therefore decided to conduct a strategic review of Fresh & Easy, with all options under consideration."
Tesco, the world's third-biggest retailer, said it had received "a number of approaches" from parties interested in acquiring some or all of Fresh & Easy, or in partnering the company to develop the U.S. business.
Clarke added: "Tim Mason, who leaves Tesco today, has played an important part in our success over a 30-year career with the company, and he leaves with my thanks and good wishes."
Launched in 2007 by former Tesco chief executive Terry Leahy, Fresh & Easy has failed to turn a profit despite investment of about £1.0 billion ($1.6 billion, 1.2 billion euros).
[BLOOMBERG] Citigroup ...contributed $736,771 to the 2008 Obama campaign... Inc. (C)'s Michael Corbat, who took over as chief executive officer less than two months ago, will cut more than 11,000 jobs and pull back from some emerging markets to drive down costs as revenue dries up at global banks.
Citigroup Inc., the third-biggest U.S. bank, said it will take a pretax charge of about $1 billion this quarter as part of a plan to eliminate more than 11,000 jobs.
The lender will take a $1 billion charge this quarter to cover the 4.2 percent workforce reduction, which includes 1,900 jobs in trading, investment banking and transaction services, Citigroup said today in a statement. The bank, ranked third by assets in the U.S., said it wants to improve productivity in markets businesses such as cash equities where profit is lagging. The stock jumped as much as 8.1 percent in New York.
Corbat and Chairman Michael O'Neill are cutting deeper than ousted CEO Vikram Pandit had planned as the industry's slump in trading and investment banking and stiffer capital rules put pressure on profit. The dismissals add to 5,000 announced in January by Pandit, who championed some of the businesses targeted today including markets in Asia and Latin America.
[An Nahar] Greece is seen as the most corrupt country in the EU, Transparency International said Wednesday, adding that crisis-hit nations are being held back by an inability to deal with graft.
Publishing its annual Corruption Perceptions Index, the Berlin-based watchdog ranked Greece 94th out of 176 countries.
Perceived corruption in the country appeared to have worsened despite efforts to tackle graft. In last year's index, the debt-ravaged country was ranked 80th on a scale of least corrupt to most corrupt.
Fellow eurozone struggler Italia also fared poorly, coming in 72nd -- a decline from last year's study when the country was ranked 69th.
The director of Transparency International (TI) in Germany, Edda Mueller, told a news conference that the fight against corruption was intimately linked to the economic health of a country.
"The countries that are hardest-hit by the financial crisis have performed below expectations despite the reform efforts of recent months," Mueller said.
Corruption levels in a country are "closely linked to the economic stability of a country," she added.
Posted by: lord garth ||
Corruption levels in a country are "closely linked to the economic stability of a country," she added.
Yeah and economic instability leads to corruption. Cantillon had it all figured out 300 years ago, but no one wants to listen, because this time "it's going to be different"
A leading ally of German Chancellor Angela Merkel called for Turkey to show it was serious about defending religious freedoms if it wanted to join the EU, saying it should let Christians build churches without restrictions.
Volker Kauder, leader of Merkel's Christian Democrats (CDU) in parliament, told a party congress he expected a "clear signal" on the issue from the Erdogan government before membership talks could continue. He said, "A country that wants to be part of Europe must accept the basic principle of religious freedom. That means, that we expect Christians in Turkey to be able to build churches without any restrictions, just as Muslims build mosques here in Germany."
Kauder's comments were seen as more of a way to appeal to members of his own party rather than an active attempt to block Turkey's membership talks, which are already stalled.